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A Dead Mouse and a Snake Head!? 20 Disgusting Things Found in the Mouths of Toddlers

I can't decide what's worse: a live mouse or a dead one.

Kids put some freaky stuff in their mouths.  You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.  What parent hasn’t found their kid chowing down on a nice, fresh bowl of dog food? And dog food, my friends, is the mildest, most non-gross item on the list you’re about to see

Toddlers are like tiny, drunk frat boys, man. Crayons and paste, swallowing marbles? That’s nothing compared to some of the things I’ve seen and heard about in kids mouths.

There’ve been a couple crazy stories making headlines lately about the insane stuff found in kids mouths. The first two on the list – a snake head and a dead mouse.

MIND BLOWING.

Like, so horrifying that if that scenario occurred up in this house it would end parenting for me, as in, stick a fork in me, I’m done and scheduling an appointment to tie my tubes the next day.

Adriana Velez over on The Stir wrote about scary things kids put in their mouths and I thought I’d compose my own list of stuff either that I’ve found in my own kids’ mouths or have heard about from other parents. Velez’ article is great but it’s the commenters who take the cake. This one says it all: “Various insects, poo, rocks, moss off rocks, an earthworm, a Smirnoff ice, various dirts, straws found at the park, licking the bottom of shoes, pet food, a whole container of cilantro *not gross, but odd*, paper, toilet water, soap…. the list goes on.”

Oh, the joys of parenthood.

Take a look at 20 disgusting things found in the mouths of toddlers:



  • A Snake Head 1 of 20
    A Snake Head
    As the Telegraph reports, a mother in Israel found her 13-month old chewing on the head of a poisonous snake. The toddler is fine, but I'm not so sure the snake is okay. Um, yeaaaah. I would just call it quits on motherhood after that. Done! No more kids for me!
  • A Dead Mouse 2 of 20
    A Dead Mouse
    As I reported last month on Strollerderby, a baby was found at a daycare gumming a dead mouse. Someone fetch my smelling salts, I feel faint.
  • Dog Poop 3 of 20
    Dog Poop
    Don't worry. That's fake dog poop. After the snake and the mouse stories, I couldn't handle checking out real dog poop. But yeah, a lot of toddlers seem to enjoy the taste of fresh dog poop and pop in a load whenever they get their hands on some.
  • Human Poop 4 of 20
    Human Poop
    Again, that's fake poop. For "fun at parties!" the ad featuring that photo promised. But, yeah, a large number of toddler's seem to enjoy rooting around in their own diapers for snacks.
    Image: Webupon.com
  • Cat Litter 5 of 20
    Cat Litter
    All I'm saying is keep your cat litter where your kid can't get it because toddlers seem to have an internal cat litter radar that signals that delicious cat litter, chock full of fun cat poop is nearby!
  • Dog Food 6 of 20
    Dog Food
    Is it weird that dog food is one of the least offensive items on this list? Freakin' nutty toddlers, man.
    Image: PedMD.com
  • Toilet Water Etc… 7 of 20
    Toilet Water Etc...
    A commenter on BabyCenter says that her son"drank water from the toilet with a crazy straw and was so proud because he got his own drink...yuk!" A second commenter immediately trumped that story with a little ditty about how she has a habit of not flushing in an effort to conserve water. You know where this is going. About her toddler daughter she says she was "shocked to find her in the bathroom with a wad of toilet paper in her hand she had taken from the toilet and a little peice stuck to her cheek. That was the worst feeling eveeeerrrr, I just didn't even know what to do so I checked her mouth and threw her in the shower and made her drink something else." Needless to say, mom flushes now, waste of water or not.
    Image: Nickage.wordpress.com
  • Iguana Head?! 8 of 20
    Iguana Head?!
    Yep, an iguana head. In the comment section of The Stir article I mentioned, Elisa Gurrola shared this story: "When I was 3 my parents and uncle went outside because there was a fire down the street. They went to see what happened and left me with my uncle's iguana. Well I bit the head off of him. I still can'tlive that one down." I'm not sure who I feel worse for: Mom when she found her daughter with an iguana head in her mouth or, of course, the iguana.
  • Dog Hair, Dust and Lint 9 of 20
    Dog Hair, Dust and Lint
    I regularly find my son chasing a dog hair tumbleweed across the floor and yes, I have found them in his mouth as well. He also gets excited when I sweep, I suppose because I'm collecting the snacks for him, saving him the trouble.
  • Fish 10 of 20
    Fish
    I've heard many a tale of children swallowing goldfish. A commenter to The Stir article tells this story: "My son was 3 and facsinated with the fish at preschool so we got him a beta. He named it Flower and it lived in a bowl in his room. One day, after I put him down for a nap and went to my room to nap a bit myself, my son comes running into the room, crying and shaking and very obviously distressed. He cried 'I ate Flower!' And sure enough, he had bitten that fish clean in half. I never did find the other half. I assume he swallowed it. He was really upset but needless to say we have very few animals here now smaller than a pony." A good call, mom.
  • Chewed Gum 11 of 20
    Chewed Gum
    If it's on the floor or under a table, your kid will find it. 'Nuff said.
  • Light Bulbs and Tampons, Oh My 12 of 20
    Light Bulbs and Tampons, Oh My
    Oh my. I've been known to hand Henry a box of tampons to play with while I attempt to shower but that's nothing compared to the story another The Stir commenter shares: "When my son was 2 I found a chewed up night light bulb in his mouth and when he was 3 he came out of the bathroom with a used tampon applicator in his mouth. I about threw up on that one." That is one, uh, interesting, kid.
  • Speaking of Glass 13 of 20
    Speaking of Glass
    I've heard several mamas mention finding their kid chewing on glass. One kid dropped a bottle of baby food and was snacking on the glass, not the food. Another mom mentions how her kid broke a glass chess piece and she found him chewing on the shards.
  • Snails and Slugs 14 of 20
    Snails and Slugs
    I guess this is a delicacy in some countries but still, I think I'd lose my lunch if my kid went all French on me. Jancee, a commenter on this BabyCenter thread says, "With my kids - they were pretty good. Cat food was the only thing. HOWEVER - my hubby told me a story about his sister. When she was a year or so old, she was sitting in the yard with Mom. Mom notices she's chewing something. Turned out to be a half chewed up SLUG! Mom contemplated for a few seconds to figure out if she should get it, or just let her finish it - it was THAT gross! She DID remove it from her mouth - with many shivers of disgust while she was pulling out all the slimy, slippery parts of a slug."
  • Somebody’s Tooth 15 of 20
    Somebody's Tooth
    Another mom comments that "E was crawling around at church one time and I saw he was gnawing on something. When I fished it out of his mouth it turned out to be SOME OTHER KID'S DISCARDED BABY MOLAR. I would find it funny now, but as a first-time mom it gave me the dry heaves."
    Image: Winecountrymom.blogs
  • Bugs 16 of 20
    Bugs
    Beetles, cockroaches, potato bugs, lady bugs... I've heard and read 'em all. Here's one from a commenter on BabyCenter: "A centipede. She ate it, threw it up, and I rushed her to the doc thinking she had parasites...he said it was just extra protein." Another one: "I found a roach in my son's mouth one time! Its leg was sticking out...first and last time i will ever touch a roach hopefully." Another mom mentions finding her son snacking on dead flies he found in the window sill. Delicious!
  • Dog Puke 17 of 20
    Dog Puke
    Sorry, I just didn't really want to post a photo of dog puke. But this embarrassed little guy looks like he just got finished upchucking, no? I've had a couple close calls with Violet and dog puke. Especially when Max yaks his lunch and it's pretty much undigested dog food. Violet and Henry are both huge fans of eating dog food.
    Image: Funnyphotos.com
  • Worms 18 of 20
    Worms
    My brother shoved one down my pants once and my mom had to remove it for me because it was in my bum crack, which, dear god, I think I'd rather eat a worm than have it in my bum! The difference is negligible, I guess, because once you eat it it's headed OUT your bum. While surfing the internet I found several moms who mentioned being horrified to find their kids with worms in or close to their mouths.
  • Cigarette Butts 19 of 20
    Cigarette Butts
    I was babysitting a toddler once and we were in the yard playing when the phone rang. I ran inside to answer it and returned 30 seconds later to find him hanging out with a used cigarette butt in his mouth. James Dean he wasn't! Violet used to pick these up at the park all the time too.
  • Batteries 20 of 20
    Batteries
    A relative of mine had to take her toddler daughter to the hospital after she swallowed a battery. Yikes!

You can also find Monica Bielanko on her personal blog, The Girl Who.

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