Baby Fever Is An Emotional Ninja.Beth Anne Ballance
Dear baby fever,
Ha! You are good. You are very, very good. Did you study nijutsu from Splinter himself, you tricky emotional ninja?
It’s like I don’t see you coming. I’m happily skipping through life as a toddler momma, mastering the art of perfect grilled cheese & memorizing every line of Cars. I’m gearing up for potty training & cursing the disappearence of sippy cups, but overall, I am extremely content with my lot in life & not so interested in starting this journey all over again. After all, I’m logging eight hours of solid REM cycle per night.
Then BAM! you sucker-punched me right in the uterus the moment I tripped over a box of folded infant clothes on my way to the Christmas garland. I sat down on the attic floor & pulled out a sleeper & tiny jacket, & oh, how I remember that hot bundle placed in my arms. Those sweet sucking noises & the way my heart pounded every time I came close to my baby. My sweet, tiny baby in those tiny pajamas with the doggie feet & ears.
They don’t make toddler clothes with doggie feet & ears.
I brushed you off for a day or two & then stumbled across videos of my toddler as a newborn. His first smiles & coos, caught on camera & there is my face, wreathed in a joyous smile. My uterus did this weird quivering thing at the site of a freshly bathed, cooing infant. oh, have mercy! my ovaries screamed.
But no. I am a toddler mom. NOT A BABY MOM. I do toddlers & I do them very well.
But oh wow, did you see that new stroller that came out?
Don’t you remember how comfy maternity pants are? The happiness of expectation for the baby, flooded in every moment of those nine months?
Or the absolute agonzing thrill of birth?
Watching your handsome husband fall in love with a new life & the affection that washes over you both?
The plans & hopes & dreams & living it all out loud, DON’T YOU WANT THAT AGAIN?!?!?
oh, have mercy on my soul, ninja baby fever.