As much as I loved to hate it, I recently decided that watching Toddlers and Tiaras isn’t ok.
I got a sick satisfaction out of hating those pageant moms.
I loved the feeling of motherly superiority I got from knowing that no matter what I do as a mom, at least I don’t dress my kid up in sequins and fake hair and burn her eyelashes for the sake of competition with other 3 year olds.
It dawned on me that just the act of watching was in some way supporting the whole enterprise. So despite my morbid fascination with the spray tans and hair pieces and that weird kissy face thing they’re so fond of on that show, I’m done.
It’s dead to me now.
But this has left a gaping void in my television viewing. I tried to fill it with You Tube videos of early 90s Miss America talent competitions but despite my admiration for any woman who’ll brave stage lighting in a white catsuit I was still left feeling empty.
It was time to take matters into my own hands. I compiled a list of alternative reality shows for TLC to consider. I mean, why limit it to tiaras when so many headwear options are available to toddlers these days?
Mary Lauren Weimer is a social worker turned mother turned writer. Her blog, My 3 Little Birds, encourages moms to put down the baby books for a moment and tell their own stories. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.