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Hello, Old Friend

Ouch! I forgot how much these cramps hurt.

It has been almost two years. I was starting to think it might never happen. So much so that I did nothing to prepare for it, despite the twenty months that have passed.  Thank goodness our guest bathroom had a small stash leftover from my sister’s stay with us last summer.

Yep, I got my period. And it feels like such a big deal that I’m actually writing about in on the Internet. Because of all the countless cycles I’ve been through since the summer I was 13, this was the one I was waiting for.

I had a slow journey to getting pregnant with Cullen. I had been on hormonal birth control for many, many years, and it left a lasting effect on my body. I went off my birth control in November 2009 (as we were beginning to think about starting a family), and didn’t get a period until August of the following year. Every month I waited and waited, and nothing came.

When it finally did, they were spaced pretty far apart, and it took a few months to get back to a regular cycle. Fourteen months from the beginning of our journey, I crept out of bed on a Monday morning and finally saw two pink lines. Ever since, I have worried about and questioned why it took so long for my cycle to return (although I’ve been told by several doctors that this is fairly common for women my age).

While most postpartum women revel in the fact that breastfeeding (typically) suppresses your cycle, I was eager to know that my body was back in “working order” again. I didn’t think about it much at the beginning, but as the first birthday approached and then passed, those old fears resurfaced in the back of my mind. And then one morning, at 13.5 months postpartum, I once again found relief.

I’m sure this all sounds like dramatic overkill. But our year of waiting and worrying was tough, and we’d like to consider having more children relatively soon. I am not getting any younger, and I didn’t feel like I had another year to spare – just sitting around and waiting. I don’t know exactly what this means for our family planning, but I like knowing that the option to move forward appears to have presented itself.

I also don’t feel as rushed to finish weaning now. I was hurrying the process along, hoping that my hormones would shift due to decreased milk demands, and that seems to have worked. We’re down to two feedings a day now, and I think we’ll hold onto those a little while longer.

Of course I waited and waited and hoped, and within a day of it arriving I was cursing the cramps and back pain I had long forgotten. Go figure. But as I lay here on my heating pad, hopped up with Advil, I’m grateful to have a little less worry and guessing going forward.

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