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Henry Wuz Here: Photographic Evidence of Life With a Toddler

Imagine tripping over this thing in the middle of the night as pale moonlight glints off his bared teeth.

Who among us hasn’t stumbled to the kitchen for an ice cold glass of water in the middle of the night and tripped over some evil toy left on the carpet by our toddler?

%#@$*!!!

Deadly Legos puncturing feet, tiny plastic toy people drowning in the toilet, race cars parked in my shoes, it’s all a part of parenting a toddler.

After pulling yet another oddity out of my purse last month I decided to officially start documenting the hilarious discoveries that I, the mother of one very busy 19-month-old, make on a regular basis. One day in the not too distant future the race cars, Legos and bizarre lovies strewn all over the house will just be regaled to memories his father and I share with each other.

As I wrote on my personal blog a few months back, as messy as Henry’s calling cards can sometimes be “one day all this will be gone. My house will be exactly as I spend several futile hours a week trying to make it look now; clean, everything in its right place, no crayon markings on walls, no fingerprints on expensive television screens to lament and no toys to pick up… And although everything will be in its right place it will never, NEVER, feel as right as it does now.”

So I’m doing my best to enjoy the mayhem. Behold: the photographic evidence of the shenanigans my 19-month-old gets up to in the course of a month.


  • Race Car In The Fridge 1 of 7
    Race Car In The Fridge
    This one is extra tricky because Henry can't open the fridge. Neither can Violet. So he had to have sneaked that bad boy in there with me standing right there pouring them milk or something. Tricky little bugger.
  • The Old Toy In The Toilet Routine 2 of 7
    The Old Toy In The Toilet Routine
    Let's be honest, I got off easy here. A plastic tub toy, a boat that floats, no less. We've all stuck our hand further down the toilet to retrieve an item than we care to admit and, more often than not, that item is not waterproof. Yes, this day was a good day.
  • Snakely 3 of 7
    Snakely
    I am deathly afraid of snakes. My kids have a bunch of frighteningly real looking rubber snakes that SOMEONE (their father) regularly purchases for them. I cannot even tell you how many times my heart has skipped a beat upon spotting "Snakely", the green snake, in various locales around our home. This sighting was particularly disturbing because I saw it as I descended the stairs and, from far away, it looked legit. Stupid snake, gets me every damn time.
  • Calling Card 4 of 7
    Calling Card
    The harmless sightings like a rubber ducky in a mixing bowl make my day. You know, the cute stuff that doesn't involve an old lollipop embedded in the carpet or a puddle of pee on the hardwood floors, that's the stuff I dig.
  • Terrifying 5 of 7
    Terrifying
    Nothing like waking up to pee at three in the morning and stumbling into this terrifying little critter. It has happened on more than one occasion. Snakes, rats... Are my kids normal?
  • Would You Care For Some Breakfast While You Poop? 6 of 7
    Would You Care For Some Breakfast While You Poop?
    We keep our recycling bin in our laundry room area which is next to our downstairs bathroom. When Henry goes missing he can generally be found pilfering through the bin and delivering containers back into the household. Maybe he's anti-recycling?
  • Little Blue Charger 7 of 7
    Little Blue Charger
    This find was what prompted me to keep track of all of Henry's calling cards. I wrote on my personal blog about finding this toy car in my bag a couple months ago and how much it means to me. Seems hard to believe now, but one day I'm going to miss stumbling over rats and nearly peeing on plastic boats.

Read more from Monica on Toddler Times:

The Life And Times Of Our Heroine, Wylet

What Were They Thinking?! The Most Age-Inappropriate Toddler Gear

20 Everyday Items My Toddler Finds Fascinating

You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.

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