I Did Not Want To Potty Train

I’m the weirdo of the group.  I have ZERO desire to potty train my 2 1/2 year old boy.  Nothing about potty training or being diaper-free seems freeing or exciting.  Just the idea of the process makes me want to head straight to the liquor cabinet.

I’m only joking a tiny bit on that last line.

Other moms were pulling out potty chairs and discussing a “3 Day Method” and I sat in a corner, covering my ears and rocking back and forth in denial.  I figured that at some point, Harrison would be old enough that I’d just point to the toilet and be all, “Hey, use that before you go to kindergarten.”

In fact, I was looking forward to making my first million off “Lazy Moms Guide to Potty Training.  Step One: Wait until he’s 18 years old.”

So the events of the other night took me completely by surprise…

My toddler was being steamed in the shower for his first daycare cold and he called out “poop!”  He was touching his bottom and so I pulled him out of the shower, put him on the toilet.  He tried.  He really tried but that toilet was just so big and I was sitting there holding him up by his soapy armpits trying to sound encouraging and not at all like “HOLY HELL, THIS IS HAPPENING!”  (I thought he was potty training himself a few months ago, but that was a one-weekend wonder.)

But it didn’t.  Not until he got back in the shower.

But the thing is, he knew what was happening.  He verbalized it.  I just wasn’t prepared because I was in my little La La Land of Mommy Denial.  So the next day, I bought a potty.

We’re not doing any “3 day courses” or sticker incentive charts just yet.  For now, it’s just a potty and if he wants to use it, that’s gravy.  If he doesn’t, even better…I’ll just start writing my book.  ::wink::

Article Posted 4 years Ago
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