I Think Valentine's Day Is Ridiculous for Toddlers
My husband knows better than to send me red roses.
I should put in a disclaimer that I have always had a bone to pick with Valentine’s Day. First, it sucked being the only gal without a boyfriend; I couldn’t cart around flowers and balloons through the middle and high school hallways. Then I started working at a retirement community where a red rose symbolized the death of a resident, so red roses are pretty much the anti-romantic gesture in my book.
Then Pinterest came along with its insanely cute and over-the-top ideas. Valentine’s crafts, Valentine’s decorations, Valentine’s outfits. Mommas better be making heart-shaped pancakes with strawberries and pink sprinkles on February 14th, is all Pinterest is saying. I love me some Pinterest, but I have to say that when the holidays swing around, I always feel absolute panic looking over my Pinterest feed. You may see a cute string of hearts with a proud toddler, but all I can see is a trip to the ER with first-degree burns from my toddler grabbing the glue gun.
But that’s cool. You do it in your own home on your own time and don’t drag me into it, and we’re going to be gravy.
Because honestly, my child has no idea what Valentine’s Day is. He has no concept of letters and love or even Brach’s jelly hearts — and until he can properly respect the jelly hearts, there is no point.
Then I had two different momma friends talk about Valentine’s Day requirements at daycares and preschools and I nearly fainted — homemade Valentines for two-year-olds? YOU MUST BE JOKING.
One momma had already purchased Valentines for her five-year-old to take to kindergarten, only to receive a note that all Valentines (yes, they were required) must be handmade. I fail to understand this. If it’s for “quality time” with the parent, then I’m pretty sure the teachers don’t quite understand the hell that is getting a small kid to sit still long enough to address, much less make, 20+ Valentine’s cards. They can’t do glue guns and they aren’t great at writing yet, so it’s pretty much a mandatory craft for the parent. Is it the price issue? Because I’m pretty sure you can buy a pack of Edward & Bella for less than $10.00 at Target, while construction paper + envelopes + stickers + markers + glue will beat that cost.
(Not to mention the panic that sends parents back to Pinterest to find the. best. homemade. Valentine. ever. lest Little Johnny’s momma pass judgment. Oh, wait. That’s just me that does that? Okay.)
I had barely gotten over shaking my head for my friend having to make Valentines for her kindergarten class when another momma told me that she has to bring Valentines for her six-month-old’s daycare class. She is a better person than I am because she had an ADORABLE idea of monkeys and banana puree in jars, but I would have ripped up that note in 2.5 seconds and instead of bringing treats for the kiddos, brought airplane bottles little chocolates for the other parents.
I swear, I’m not a grinch. I’m a BIG fan of holidays, but I’m also a big fan of being sensible, and, to me, requiring a momma to make Valentines for five-year-olds or bring in goodies for infants crosses the line.
So sorry, Harrison’s buddies. You’re not getting sacks of treats from Harry that have a cute picture of him or a lollipop or anything Pinterest-y. Maybe when he’s in first grade and can sign his own name, but until then, we’ll stick to him getting lucky if his momma manages to cut his pancake into a heart.
Beth Anne writes words & takes pictures on The Heir to Blair
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This made me laugh! I was so happy that Valentine’s Day happened on Tuesday this year. Which happens to be one of the days of the week he doesn’t go. So happy I didn’t have to go through this with my almost 3 year old.
You’re right, expecting young children to make that many valentines when they barely understand what the holiday is about is ridiculous and inappropriate. And who gave teachers the right to tell families how they should spend their family time? Wouldn’t that time be better spent doing something other than chasing your kid down with crayons and glue after they’ve already made ten valentines and are sick and tired of making them already? And you know that all that hard work is going to end up in the trash in a few days. That being said, I don’t think Valentine’s Day is totally lost on kids. Rather than making them do extra homework and calling it “family time”, I make Valentines with the toddlers in my classroom at school (one for each family) and we talk about the people that we love and what love means. It’s a big idea but it’s also a simple one that they can all relate to on some level.
Amen!
That’s insanity. I probably would have broken the rules and just bought them anyway. What are they going to do? Withhold my kids Valentine’s?
I would have sent a note to the school requiring homemade Valentine’s. That is absurd. I was happy to spend $3.50 on a box of Valentine’s with candy for each of my 4 school age kids. No way would I make 80+ on my own.
This is the first year one of my boys has been “required” to give Valentine cards.
I have to say, he and I enjoyed browsing Pinterest together and picking out a fairly easy treat. (He decided on super hero tootsie pops. I cut out masks & capes and taped them to suckers. Easy! So cute!)
He’s in preschool and the class if full of 4 and 5 year olds. I helped today in his classroom and to see 18 preschool kids take turns handing out their cards, wait patiently, say “thank you” and “your welcome,” and thoroughly enjoy themselves? It was kind of amazing.
So. Yeah. Requiring Valentines be handmade, or requiring a class of 6 months olds to exchange cards/treats might be a little extreme…
But for preschoolers? There’s a lot to learn in exchanging cards.
I can’t really speak for any other age group. But I’d imagine it’d be about the same for most ages- patience, taking turns, manners- all good skills to practice.
amen. i totally rocked the store bought today – and that’s where it ends over here. does it count that we had raspberries for breakfast (unplanned)? I think over time they will learn about the holiday, but for 2 & 3 years old there’s nothing fancy!
Daniel’s preschool is having a party, which consists of cup cakes, juice and a craft. They are also exchanging Valentines, but thankfully we received no instruction to make them instead of buying them! Unfortunately, Daniel is sick, so no party for him.
Abby is in the 2 year old class and has been so excited about Valentine’s Day. They have spent a week decorating card boxes and reading Valentine-themed books. They are also having a party today. Abby picked out the cards she wanted (I addressed them of course) but she was so excited to take them to school this morning to give to her friends. While I don’t think anything extreme is required for Vday, but I think it can still be fun for little ones.
My two year old only made valentines for his grandparents (and I may have slipped one in there for me
) and it was torture getting him to color 6 heart shaped papers! If his great grandmas were not widows and in dire need of adorable pictures it would not have happened!
AMEN indeed! My son’s daycare class (20-30 month olds) is having a party today, but bless the teacher that said that cards were optional; I did not send him in with cards. Also? I dressed him in a blue shirt today, so judging from the looks of things, he is going to stick out like a sore thumb today! Ai-yi-yi. (I figure this is the only time I’ll be able to get out of it, though).
Wow… Those daycares are crazy! I run an in-home daycare, and last year, I helped the kids make a V-Day card for their parents. Just a little construction paper, crayons, stickers & glue stick, so it was age-appropriate, the kids could actually do it with minimal help, and the gift was for the parents! This year I barely pulled off treats for my own family, so I didn’t plan a daycare party.
I don’t know what will happen next year, but Baguette’s day care seems to have a practice in which parents send “candygrams” to their child, rather than providing something for the whole class.
maybe the parents that make those cute handmade valentines really enjoy it. maybe their 2 yr old doesn’t “get” valentines day, but they do get the idea of presents and are excited to give their friends something. You dont have a kid in daycare with friends around so you dont get it. I think being totally one sided here is rude. Why not get kids excited about something? Why not teach them to enjoy special days and use it as a lesson of giving and appreciation? why do you have to make it all so negative? We have very little time with our kids, sometimes less than anyone expects. Especially when they’re at this fun exploratory 2 yr old stage where they love to learn and discover new things. Take time to make life special for your kid. They might not remember it, but the impact it leaves on them morally & spiritually is what grows them into who they become.
Mandatory Valentines? That’s absurd! There was a rule when I was in school that if you gave Valentine’s you had to give them to everyone in the class. This rule was to prevent kids from being left out and I can totally get behind it.
Homemade mandatory Valentines? Just out of control. Of course I wouldn’t want my kid to be the only one who did participate so I’d be up until midnight making them.
I loved this post! Thank you so much for sharing your feelings about Valentine’s Day. I too have felt like both a grinch and an inadequate mom all week for not being 100 percent into the crafts, treats and cards for this highly commercial holiday. I’ve avoided my Pinterest boards for the last four days because the pressure is just too much. This year my daughter’s preschool set up a gift exchange, so technically I was only MANDATED to buy/make one Valentine as opposed to 20. Low stress, and so doable. Perhaps, I’ll feel differently when they get older. At this point, I’m just trying to make it. http://mommyofthreeladies.blogspot.com/
Uh yeah, I have 5 year old twins in kindergarten. I didn’t do any handmade Valentine’s… do you know why? Because we will throw away/recycle 40 Valentines this evening after the boys go to bed. I’m all for awesome Christmas cards that are displayed and kept by some people but not ever going to go crazy with the V day cards.
My little girl is 2 weeks shy of her 2nd birthday. I had some many people yesterday at work ask what we got her for valentine’s day and my response..Ummm nothing. She has everything she needs. She doesn’t need chocolate, flowers, cards, or more stuff animals. I gave her kiss and a hug before I left her with my mom and went to work.