I'm Not SorryLori Garcia
He was having no part of finger-painting and circle time, so he decided to exclude himself and act out inappropriately. BooBoo’s preschool teacher was giving me a recap of his day and I found myself apologizing; apologizing for a 3-year-old’s behavior. It wasn’t that his teacher was looking for an apology; she was simply telling me what I would want to know. But there I was, overwhelmingly compelled to apologize (hypocrite much?).
The three’s have been challenging, and I’m not even sure it’s the three’s. Little BooBoo is my spitfire, my ball of precocious energy wrapped up in one totally adorable package. This apology business isn’t entirely new for me either; I’ll admit there are times when I feel apologetic for my inability to control the situation. And so long as I’m being honest, I just know that pesky degree in Child Development makes me feel as if I should possess the know-how to diffuse such problematic situations. Well, I don’t.
Why have I set the bar so high for myself?
I have real difficulty allowing myself to be human as a mother, yet I spend the better part of my creative energies preaching about its importance. I do so because I believe allowing ourselves to be human is vitally necessary. I embrace and applaud the parent who is comfortable not having all the answers but it seems humanity is the gift I have yet to truly allow myself.
I’m working on not being sorry.
When I really think about it, I’m not sorry my kid had a bad day; we all have them sometimes. I’m not sorry BooBoo had difficulty communicating his emotions; he’s 3. Sure, I’m working with him to find better and more productive methods of self-expression but I have all the faith in the world in him. I know a spirit as large as his takes practice to maintain.
I’m not sorry; I’m lucky.
I’m lucky to have a spirited child who is transforming me into the best mother I can be, even if it is one tantrum at a time. I’m lucky to be given the opportunity to practice patience and grace. But most of all, I’m lucky just for knowing him. He’s mine and he’s wonderful and for that I’ll never be sorry.
Do you apologize for your toddler’s behavior?
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