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Inappropriate Toddlers and the Things They Say

The mother of them all, "Percy."

Toddlerhood is my favorite.  I love the crazy and the silly and the energy and even when he’s screaming at me that he DOESN’T. WANT. TO. GO. POTTY! I still think he’s adorable in the way that keeps me from devouring him.

My kid has been a late talker (I hesitate to say it like that since it’s been months of therapy and hard work on his end, so please don’t assume my blase attitude with “late talker”) and it’s been fun to see him blossom with speech and learn to express himself.  He’s putting words together for whole sentences and just a few weeks ago, began asking questions properly for the first time.  My momma heart, how it soars with happiness and pride!  On the other hand, his immature speech leads to some rather … well, inappropriate things that come out of his mouth.

Like the other night when he told me that he “forked his chicken” and you can just imagine what that sounded like.  (if you can’t imagine, I spelled it out clearly here.)  I laughed until I cried at the dinner table and to be fair, I’m still laughing as I think about it this very moment.  So for your Friday entertainment, I’ve gathered a list of the funny things a toddler says unknowingly:


  • Chalk 1 of 7
    Chalk
    "Mommy, can we play with c*ck in the front yard?" You'll love it when the neighbors overhear that one!

    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Percy 2 of 7
    Percy
    Sometimes I wonder if the creators of Thomas did this on purpose so when your 3-year-old screams, "I want my p*ssy!" in Target, you'll die a slow death.

    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Bridge 3 of 7
    Bridge
    "Hey, Daddy! Look at that b*tch over there! That's a high b*tch!"

    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Ice cream 4 of 7
    Ice cream
    Not the same as Desitin, but still known as "ass cream." Yummy?

    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Fork 5 of 7
    Fork
    My toddler proudly proclaimed that he "f*cked his chicken" the other night. I spit out my potatoes laughing so hard.

    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Fire Truck 6 of 7
    Fire Truck
    More commonly known as a "firef*ck" to many toddlers.

    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Clock 7 of 7
    Clock
    The ever-cliche clock versus c*ck. Please tell me he'll be able to combine an L with another letter soon?

    Photo Credit: Flickr

top photo credit: flickr

More from BA:

Is your toddler eating enough?

Toddler car seat safety. aka SUPER IMPORTANT TO READ.

Yep, you’re that mom.

Beth Anne writes words & takes pictures on The Heir to Blair. You can also find her on the Twitters & Facebook.

 

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