Birthday Bash Blues



While every child deserves their own special day, birthday parties can be a real pain for parents. Between the screaming children, crazy themes, and fake smiles, we simply would rather stay home.

Here are the seven things we dislike the most about child birthday parties:

1. The Time Monopolizing

As far as I’m concerned, my weekends are supposed to be for spending “fun” quality time with my children and husband and not dreadful, non-quality time watching other parents deal with their child’s tantrums. So weekend parties completely wreck my plans. It’s difficult enough to make it on time to the extracurricular classes like swimming, art and/or ballet. Pass.

2. The “Party” Junk Food

Chips and dip and sugared drinks are a given with most parties. May as well drive through a fast food joint while you’re at it. So if you’re trying to keep your kid on balanced meals, kiddie parties will not make the cut. Pass.

3. Socializing with a Mask

No, not the fun masquerade kind. I’m talking about the frozen smile face you have on at a kids party, the kind that goes with the total inability to just relax and talk like humans. I’ve rarely gone to a party where I’ve had a decent conversation with another adult. Instead, the talk always snakes its way back to them monologuing about which milestones their kid has or hasn’t reached. Okay, I get it, it’s important to most people, but I don’t think that anyone cares to know that my seven-year-old gives me sass about brushing her teeth. Pass.

4. Chuck E Cheese

Need I say more? Germs, cotton candy, and chaos all in one place. No thank you. Pass.

5. A Waste of Money

If children are less than two years of age, are they really going realize that they’re having a birthday party? It simply seems like a moot point to me — it’s just another play date with the added balloons and cake. Pass.

6. Piñatas

These are a sure guarantee that your kid will either be the one crying over not getting enough candy, be the one blamed for hogging all of the candy, or simply the one that gets clobbered by all the other kids trying to get to the candy. Trust me, I’ve had all three happen to me with my three little ones. Not a fun or pretty sight. Pass.

7. Sugar Highs

Is there anything more fun than taking a kid hopped up on sugar home to “relax”? How about three of them? No matter how much you may try to keep your kids away from the mini brownies, chocolate candy encrusted Krispy treats or downing four mini juice boxes, you cannot escape the sugar and neither can they. Pass.