We have reached full-scale, epic whining around these parts.
It’s like a couple of dolphins are up in here mating or something. Or maybe a half-dead coyote calling for help on the lone prairie. Except this ain’t no prairie, it’s my kitchen and these two toddlers are bumming me out, man!
Most of the time I don’t even know what they’re whining about. Henry looked at Violet wrong, the refrigerator is the wrong color, I dunno.
It got so bad yesterday that, in a last-ditch effort to JUST MAKE IT STOP while I was cooking dinner, I whipped out a Sharpie and (Inspired by this… Warning! Ear Worm!) drew faces on a couple of potatoes sitting on the counter.
You won’t believe the result.
Kids. They’ll play with anything.
These two idiots ‘o’ mine have been trotting around with their potatoes for days now. Which, I guess makes me the idiot who spends all kinds of money on stupid toys when I should just be making characters out of household items.
Bored? Here! Take these lasagna noodles and go build a fort!
Here’s a cardboard Mac & Cheese box for your potatoes to live in!
Make a bed out of these here cotton balls and toilet paper! Yes, use the whole roll, just don’t come out of your room!
So let me present to you The Small Potatoes. We don’t leave home without ‘em. In fact, Violet doesn’t go to sleep without ‘em:
The Small Potatoes! 1 of 7Who are apparently pretty pissed about my lack of drawing skillz.
Bedtime 2 of 7I told you. She takes them everywhere!
Mr. and Mrs. Small Potatoes 3 of 7Violet likes the one she calls Violet Potato.
Kidnapped! 4 of 7Oh noes! She's taking me!
Fun for Hours! 5 of 7Seriously, kid? You're still playing with that potato?
Death Threat 6 of 7Don't eat me!
Best Friends Forever 7 of 7I shall never eat French fries again!
Read more from Monica on Toddler Times:
You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.