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King of the Castle: 7 Ways My Toddler is a Dictator

I love him to death, but I’ve had to come to terms with a cold, hard fact about my two-year-old. He’s a dictator. Before you gasp in horror at this accusation observation, let’s do a little deductive reasoning: The definition of a dictator is “a ruler who has absolute, unrestricted power.”  The name Harry is Germanic for “home ruler.” My son’s name, Harrison, means “son of Harry.”

Though I wouldn’t put him up there with the likes of Napoleon, Stalin, Hitler, and/or Kim Jung-Il, my kiddo does have almost absolute power over our home. We are most definitely his parents, not his BFFs, but I certainly see how our lives have swayed in his favor and according to his preferences over the last few years. Gone are leisurely Saturdays when the pull of the park! and carousel! are looming. Gone are the gourmet dinners prepared for hours and supped by candlelight. Nowadays the quality of our happiness depends in large part on our ability to provide the right sippy cup, read the right story, and basically understand what he wants at all times without him having to explain himself. There are rules to this kingdom! Here are 7 ways my beloved little boy is like a dictator …

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  • He will only eat certain foods 1 of 7
    He will only eat certain foods
    We introduce our kid to a bunch of veggies and textures, but cereal, Kraft, and sliced cheese still rule the kitchen at the demand of our tiny tot.
  • He must receive a lollipop wherever he makes an appearance 2 of 7
    He must receive a lollipop wherever he makes an appearance
    Every trip to Target (while occasionally barefoot), the young sir asks for a lollipop from the pharmacy to help sweeten the shopping.
  • Everyone must rise for the ruler 3 of 7
    Everyone must rise for the ruler
    6:30am on Saturday morning has become the regular wakeup time in our household.
  • We must always be ready to parade 4 of 7
    We must always be ready to parade
    "Outside?" he asks hopefully every weekend. "OUTSIDE!" he demands a little more loudly if we do not pounce on mittens and coats immediately. I'm all for outdoor activity, so I give in to this demand happily.
  • Sir Harrison is very particular 5 of 7
    Sir Harrison is very particular
    The kiddo discovered his momma's candy cane Philosophy body wash. It's been his request ever since. All the Johnson & Johnson's have been tossed.
  • We must respect the Prince’s sleep schedule 6 of 7
    We must respect the Prince's sleep schedule
    If Harrison slumbers, the rest of the house holds it's breath. No vacuuming or blaring movies. Indeed, it is when his momma does most of her writing and his poppa plays golf.
  • His majesty must be entertained 7 of 7
    His majesty must be entertained
    I remember the days when I watched Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill . I think. Now my television is filled with Curious George and Cars 2. If I dare attempt to put on anything else, war will ensue.

Tell me in the comments: How is your toddler like a dictator?

Beth Anne writes words & takes pictures on The Heir to Blair.
You can also find her on the TwittersFacebook.

 

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