We’ve probably all been there.
We’re having a conversation with another mom with kids similar in age to ours and talking about our life with littles. We probably don’t know this mom super well, she’s not in our closest circle of friends, and we’re listening to her tell us how her toddler never watches TV, that they don’t believe in using TV to entertain or baby-sit their kids.
And then you start to feel that little nagging inside, that she’s a better mom than you are because your toddler watches TV on pretty much a daily basis. You may not want it to be that way, but one way or another, it’s become a kind of routine in your day.
And then all of the sudden you hear yourself start telling this mom something about your children that is either completely false, or only partially true, because you are trying to make yourself look and sound like a better mom than you are feeling like at that moment.
When you finish the conversation and go your separate ways, you may find yourself wondering, why in the world did I say that? Why did I feel like I had to lie to her to make myself feel better?
Have you ever had an experience like that? I know I have, and I always kick myself later for not being real and honest.
Why do we moms feel the need to lie to one another?
A recent survey done by Netmums found that moms admit to lying to each other in order to seem like better parents. But that these lies just end up making us feel inadequate as mothers.
I’ve been thinking about this issue for a few weeks, ever since I shared this post about the things I don’t do as a mama of a toddler. The response was overwhelming, and the comments ranged from appreciation for my honesty which helped other mothers to feel better about themselves, to some really mean-spirited comments that basically said I was a bad mom, and even some moms that claimed to be SuperMom herself.
All of these responses made me realize that the reason so many moms resonated with, and appreciated, the post was because we have this idea that the other moms around us are actually “doing it all”, or have it all together, or that their kids are perfect, which may be partly based on the lies that we tell each other.
So I started thinking about the different lies that we as moms tell. Some of these I know I’ve said myself, and some of them I know I have heard from other mothers.
7 Lies Moms Tell Each Other:
Now, you may not lie to your closest friends. I don’t either. I feel very blessed to have lots of close friends that I can talk honestly with about how things are really going for me as a mom. But once I get outside of that circle of friends, I find that I am much more likely to fib a little, or stretch the truth here or there. And I really wish I didn’t do that. Both for my own sake, and for the sake of the other moms I’m talking to.
So, how about instead of lying, we commit to being vulnerable and honest with each other, and support each other in this most difficult and important role that each of us has, raising our children.
Do you sometimes lie to make yourself sound better, or different, than you might be as a mom? Do you feel like other moms lie to you about how they are doing as a mom? How does this lying affect you?
Top photo credit: skeddy in NYC/flickr