Literal Toddler Nightmare


hugging my viviMy baby (toddler, whatever) is more than a thousand miles away and I have never wanted to hug her more.

Normally I don’t have a problem leaving my kids, I know they’re in perfectly capable hands, they are being cared for by wonderful people who love them as much as I do and I know I’ll be back recharged, energized and refreshed to head into another round of toddler parenting tactics. I have no problem admitting that toddlers are not my thing, but Vivi is currently in that super cute phase where basically everything she does is adorable and hysterical and if memory serves me properly, this phase only lasts so long before the back talk starts. (Adorable and hysterical does not totally overshadow exhausting and mind boggling however.)

Early this morning I had a dream that I was working, Vivi was at the bottom of an escalator in a hotel and began getting on with another toddler girl. The two began tripping over each other and Vivi ended up tumbling backwards down four or five escalator stairs. I’m not sure if you’ve ever experienced a tumble down (or up) escalator stairs but the things are brutal. Someone hit the emergency stop and I ran down to her, when I reached the bottom Vivi was unconscious and I picked up her little lifeless body. I could smell her. I could feel her. She was wearing her dark blue dress with pink flowers and dark pink leggings. I could feel the limp weight of her body in my arms.

Terrible dream. It’s stuck with me all day.

I woke up feeling icky and wanting nothing more than to hug Vivi if only to feel her little body push back against me so I could erase the thought of her little lifeless body in my arms.

Find more of Casey’s writing on her blog moosh in indy or her Babble Voices site Shutterlovely. She’s also available on twitter, facebook, flickr and Instagram. If you can’t find her any of those places? Check the couch, she’s probably taking a nap.