Playground Confessions: Am I the only one who doesn’t want to take my kid to the park?
Am I the only one who doesn't want to take my kid to the park?
The ingredients: one 2-year-old boy, one stay-at-home mother, year-round Southern California weather and no backyard. This recipe makes us the perfect candidates for the park, which is close by and big, with plenty of kids and bounteous equipment. So what kind of mother would deny this idyllic stomping ground to her son?
I honestly don’t think I’m a bad or unloving mother. From the time my baby turned 3 months, I was so eager to do a good job that I had us on a rigorous schedule of music classes, museums, library story hours and play-dates. “He’s just luggage until he’s 6 months,” my friends would say. “Just go on with your day the way you normally might. Get your nails done. Go to the movies.” Why, so I would get a break? No, thanks. I would do anything that might provide the stimulation and give him an edge in this hardscrabble world.
But I couldn’t do the park. The park may have incredible climbing ropes, twisty slides, and lush hills through which a child may frolic, but it also has sand teeming with parasites from dog excrement, piles of juice boxes, crackers and broken shovel pieces. I’ve seen countless broken bottles, condoms (shudder), adult men’s briefs (double shudder), and, on one occasion, a plastic shopping bag from Target with razors inside (granted, they were unopened in their clamshell packaging). With all this garbage, how can I just let my son roam free there?
My husband argues that our son needs to be around other kids, not to mention the physical exercise the playground provides.
“But I found razor blades in the sand!”
“They were packaged,” he replies. “You can’t accidentally break open clamshell packaging.”
“Razorblades!” I answer.
“You’re talking about the ones you took home and used, right? Those razorblades?”
“Razorblades!”
My grandstanding about safety and cleanliness, I admit, isn’t the real reason I hate the park. I hate it because it’s boring. My son loves it, but when I’m there, I am deafened by the voice in my ear that asks me how I could leave an orderly life and thriving career to muddle around in dirty sand, chasing a boy with no game-plan and no understanding that he should be grateful that I’ve taken him there instead of just pissy when it’s time to leave.
Furthermore, being at the park depresses me, especially when I’m faced with the other mothers and see how worn-down we all look. We all wear the same yoga pants and flip-flops. We talk the same: “Sweetie, I hear that you want to use the slide, but it’s time to take turns.” And, finally, we act the same: we go into a trance. At the park, we’re Trance Parents. We zone out in an effort to endure the long hours spent watching, not able to do what we want or what would keep us active. Very few of us can stay fascinated by our children during all their waking moments. Our kids are way more boring to us than they are to the working mothers and fathers who only get a few hours a day with their little ones. Kids are endlessly needy, they can’t hold a conversation and they don’t know anything you don’t know. All these things make for day-long stretches of tedium. And though they’re cute as hell, and though we’re genetically wired to be crazy about them (and we are!), I still often find myself decidedly unstimulated - especially when I’ve been pushing the swing for sixty-six straight minutes.
As I push my son in a baby swing, I don’t coo at him and play depth-perception games. I endlessly pound on the refresh button of my mobile device, desperate for some communication from the outside, desperate for proof that I still exist. I look at my watch, unable to believe we’ve only been there for five minutes. I stand in a row of mothers, all of us who want to be applauded for doing the hardest job and I, too, am on the phone, ignoring the fact that my child has asked to get off the swing for the last five minutes now.
When I am somewhere else with my son, or just at home, I am giddily in love with him. I am interested in trying to piece together words that he might be using to make a sentence. I sit with him as we watch Sesame Street, counting together, trying to name colors and characters. We stack blocks, knock them down, say hello and goodbye to his toys. It’s only at the park that things turn.
I am not self-righteous about my hatred for the park. I salute the other Trance-Parents there for their ability to withstand an endless, life-sucking outing to the playground.
And I envy all the non-Trance-Parents. Though I suspect (hope?) that they are putting on a show, or that they are working parents just taking a day off from their other grind, they actively engage with their children, and don’t just check their iPhones. They play in the sand, get dirty and have what appears to be fun.
Trance parents make me upset by reflecting my own complacency, but non-Trance-Parents add further insult by, well, doing what I should be doing, what I thought I’d be doing.
In an ideal world, I’d love the park. I’d run through the grass, holding my son’s hand. I’d watch his look of wonder as he whooshed down the slide, smitten by his laugh. But this is not an ideal world, and I am not an ideal parent. When I’m not at the park, it is easier to forget that.
This article was written by Taffy Brodesser-Akner for Babble.com, the magazine and community for a new generation of parents.
Really? This is what Babble is offering in terms of essays these days? Seems the days of offering anything truly insightful, meaty, rich, or lyrical are gone.
A stronger writer might have made something interesting of something that’s minimally interesting (I don’t want to take my kid to the park), but it didn’t happen here.
I find the author’s attitude ridiculous in the first place, and it’s clear she doesn’t want to go to the park because she finds it boring, not because there’s some inherent dangerous. Fine, be bored. I doubt all stay-at-home moms, even though I’m not one of them, won’t necessarily appreciate being lumped in with the “because I spend a lot of time with my child, he/she is more boring/less interesting/more annoying” camp.
As a stay at home mom, I’d MUCH rather be at the park than at home with my kids! At least there they can run around and get their wiggles out. And I’m happy to be around all the other moms in their flip flops and yoga pants because then I don’t feel so isolated.
I usually don’t think this about other people’s experience in the world, but all I could think was this was a very strange way to look at the playground! I really can’t relate with this piece at all! When the weather is nice, I spend as many mornings as possible at the playground. And I meet up with all of my other friends with kids so that I CAN have some access to the world outside of my home.
I suspect it will be better when her child is older and can do a little more independent play at the playground. Then she can be one of those moms reading on the park bench.. which is totally fine!
I am so glad to see that I’m not the only mother who doesn’t like the park. We usually had space for playing outside our house, but so many mothers I knew thought it would be fun to get the kids together and then take them to the park. I’m an introvert, so the thought of having to hang around other mothers just made me gag. I had children, but I still read, kept up with things, and didn’t turn into one of those women who can’t talk about anything but her children. Turns out that I was in the minority in my area, and I had better things to do than to sit around talking about diaper genies, gossip, and getting criticized for nursing past 6 weeks. Sure this was Mississippi several years ago, but still. I have no problem being alone, alone at home with my children, or alone with my children in a public place. Besides, the park is gross.
Things will become more enjoyable and less boring as one’s child gets older. Two years old is kind of a hard stage, and I can appreciate that being at the park is sometimes boring. My kids are now 4 and 5, and the playground is a lot more fun now that they’re older. Plus, I get involved and try to get my own exercise in. I chase them and other kids playing tag, I climb up the ladders and go down the slides with them, do push-ups and pull-ups, stair-climb, etc. You’re only limited by your own imagination. Plus, older kids will be more independent and make friends and then you will be able to tune out more and make phone calls. Find a cleaner park if you have concerns about your local one, and visit multiple parks for variety. But don’t keep your kid home or in “clean” environments like museums and libraries all the time. Kids need unstructured, dirty fun too. (So do moms!)
I’m not with you on the germs issue, and I’m jealous of your warm busy park. But I totally relate on the trance-parent thing. Isn’t it funny — you know what you *should* be doing, but somehow it just doesn’t quite work out, and you tell yourself that you’re just checking the news really fast while the kid is otherwise occupied, or your email, or writing comments on babble.
Honestly? You are upset by how other mothers dress? That must be why you don’t talk to them, you just hope a text from a better-dressed person will come along.
Instead of sitting in judgment of other parents, try to be where you are. It sounds like elementary thera-speak, but it can help to just turn everything off and try to enjoy the moment.
Hmm..the park is my fave thing to do with my kid. Of course, I usually go with a friend so I have someone to talk to or I admit I get a little bored sometimes. I also just like being outside in general. And it IS harder when they are little because you have to make sure they don’t fall, etc. so it feels a bit more like a chore. Once they are a bit older, it is more fun.
I just don’t get what the working vs stay-at-home thing was in this article. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but it made me feel slightly offended (I am a working mom now, but stayed home for two years so know something aobut both “worlds”)
I love my kid, but I hate the park, even though I do take her there, and talking to other moms makes me want to gouge out my eyes.
Ah, gotta love the judgmental and pedantic parents who come out of the woodwork to comment on these pieces.
I personally identified a LOT with this article, though in a polar opposite way from the author’s experiences. For me, I found being at home, playing with plastic animals and people and building blocks to be the life-sucking boring thing. It was there that I was constantly running over to the computer to see if somebody had emailed me or commented on a Facebook status. It was for exactly this reason that I much preferred the park and would stay there oftentimes for up to three hours.
Sure I got bored there too and yearned to be doing something grownup, or at least having a conversation with somebody who completely understood everything I was saying, but at least I could get a little bit of exercise by following them from thing to thing.
You’re not alone, author-of-this-article. Yeah, maybe some of those trance moms (or trance commenters) do it “better” than you. La-de-freakin-DA. We all have our strengths and weaknesses as parents. You’ve found a way to enjoy your time with your kid and not resent them. Honestly, how can anyone argue with that?
I’d find this a lot more relate-able and appealing if we didn’t have to endure the standard disclaimer paragraph that accompanies these “I’m not a perfect mommy” articles: but I take him to the museum! To mommy-baby classes! To music school! To the opera! All before he was even six months old because that’s just how awesome I am! And now I will proceed to show you how even more awesome I am by inventing a bunch of “dangers” that lurk in your neighborhood playground…
I appreciate what the author is saying here, but I think she could benefit from looking at things from a different perspective. Time with our children is an opportunity for fun and growth…for them and for US. To the author: It’s clear you don’t enjoy being at the park, so why not try and find a different outdoor place that you WILL enjoy? Is there an Arboretum nearby? Is there a lovely outdoor walking/hiking path? Perhaps a DIFFERENT park might rub you in a better way? Poke around and do some research on your town or nearby towns. Perhaps, if you actually enjoy where you are you will be more likely to engage with your child in the same way you do indoors? When you find yourself in a trance or feeling bored, remember how lucky you are to have your child. He is alive and smiling and there. This is a gift. Find a place you BOTH will enjoy and you may just find that trancelike state is a thing of the past.
This reminds me of some wonderful advice my mother gave me: “if you’re bored, your kids are bored. Find something you can do together.”
Only boring people are bored.Have you thought about having a drink or two before going?Might help.
I am not an outdoor person BUT we do go to the park since there is a great one right behind our house. We are never there for long…but we still go, it lets them run off some energy
stop thinking about what you “should” be doing and stop feeling guilty about being bored. jeebus, lady, you said it yourself – kids can be tedious. it’s OK. that’s just reality.
i’m introverted too and i don’t like talking to strangers. so i don’t. at the park i either play with my son or i sit on the bench and stare at the sky or i read emails on my phone. isn’t that what mobile phones are for? killing time?
and if you don’t like the park – don’t go.
i’m so tired of these babble articles about mothers who fret and defend their neurotic sense of what other people think they “should” be doing. aaargh – why do i respond? i can’t help it. your comment-bait formula is working, babble!
I have two comments: 1.) I think this author is awful and read her stuff in Salon before. I cannot believe how silly this piece is, but her piece in Salon? Worse. Way worse.
2.) Seriously Babble? Seriously? You got rid of your editors so you could publish this crud. I would rather read Parents. Honestly. I am done with you.
“As I push my son in a baby swing, I don’t coo at him and play
depth-perception games. I endlessly pound on the refresh button of my
mobile device, desperate for some communication from the outside,
desperate for proof that I still exist.”
Hahahahaha…that made me laugh.
Chill, author and commentors, raising little kids is VERY OFTEN TEDIOUS AND BORING. That’s a fact. Sometimes – many times – you don’t want to run around the park…that’s for kids to do. I tell my son to play with the other kids.
On the other hand, when I see parents FULLY absorbed in their iPhones and the like, ignoring their kids or just not watching them, I don’t much like that either.
There’s a balance.
Bad timing. It’s below freezing here on the east coast and I would l-o-v-e to get out and go to the park. But yes, having it very, very easy often leads to boredom.
This is one of the saddest most disappointing articles I have read on daily babble. while I can appreciate the honesty of the writer -it is undeniably sad that she can’t find away to have fun with her kid and make the most of an outdoor outing with her kid. I have been bored at the playground too. I live in NYC and the playgrounds there are just as filthy as anywhere else but I still find a way to have fun with my son. The writer would be surprised that she might actually have fun, and time might fly by if she actually spent 15 minutes engaging her son in some make believe, a game of tag, climbing, swinging or sliding.
This is sad. I have to confess that going to the playground stresses me out, but only because I feel like the other parents there are sizing me up and judging me. Clearly I am right. Trance parents? Give me a break. But then, I’m a working mom so my feelings don’t count, anyway.
This article is the equivalent of someone writing that yes, they really are a good homewoner, because they paint the walls, sweep the floors, clean the rooms, repair broken stuff, buy and maintain nice furniture, pay property taxes on time, invite friends over for dinner parties, only invest in the best faucets and light fixtures, do preventative maintenance like fixing the roof before it is due, etc., etc. But despite being such a good and dedicated homeowner, they hate mowing the lawn.
Because they could hurt themselves. Because they might accidentally run over their garden. Because they may injure the emerging roots of their front-law tree. Because there may be pesticides on the lawn that they could pass on to their kids or pets. Because they may accidentally run over a toy and break it. Because the exhaust from the mower may potentially give them asthma. Because if they tune out, they may accidentally whack a garden gnome out onto the street, and it may meet its maker under the path of an oncoming car.
Big whoop. So what’s the problem? Two things. 1) Stop making excuses. It’s boring. You hate it. It’s ok. But stop inventing a supporting rationale that helps you feel less bad about it all. Just admit that the real reason you hate the park is that it does not stimulate you. Full stop. I often feel the same. 2) The other problem is not that the author hates going to the park, but that the author talks about her child as if he/she is a material possession that must be maintained. Just a like a house. If you take that sort of approach to your kid, no wonder you’re bored. They probably are too.
Oh man, I cannot relate to the anti-park thing at all. I like being outside, chatting with other moms and nannies, and watching my son’s delight in the different activities there. Staying home with him 24/7 can get tedious, and at this point in winter I am tired of seeing snow and wish that I could go to a nice park somewhere. I think the author’s problem is that the park is always there, always an option for her kid to want. In everywhere that isn’t LA, going to the park is not always an option, so when it is, it’s a nice break from the house. Here in the southeast, we have rain in the summer, horrible humidity, and snow in winter so it’s amazing to go to the park when we can. Suck it up, people that live in perfect climates! Move to Chicago for a year and when you can’t go to the park for 6 months you might learn to appreciate it for the godsend it can be.
sad, just sad
we all feel bored sometimes being at home, but the degree to which the writer feels it makes me sad for her and her kid…some people *should* go to work
News flash… parks are for kids.
Playgrounds can be boring, I agree. And I’m an introvert too, so I sometimes feel awkward talking to other moms, though that can be nice.
As an alternative, I got a membership to the zoo so my 1.5 year old can run around in a safe place and I can enjoy watching and learning about the animals. We also still go hiking, which I enjoyed before kids too. At 25 pounds, I’m not sure how much longer I can carry him, but it’s a great workout.
To each is own, but I don’t agree with this sentiment at all. At least
you have a park in your neighborhood where the kids aren’t in any real
danger such as drug deals, gangs, or kidnapping!
You’re entitled to your own feelings, however, it’s quite selfish to
deny your son the park because you some how feel inadequate about your
own self. I wish I could go to the park almost 365 days a year instead
of spending half of it inside!
I have trouble in crowds and struggle with anxiety, but I find the park
to be an escape. Fresh air, a chance for my kid to run around and be
attached to plastic swing sets as opposed to me. No one says you have
to fraternize with the other parents, I typically don’t.
I understood where the author was trying to go with this but I think
she missed the mark. In the end, these are her feelings and she’s
entitled to whatever but I don’t think many babblers are on board…
I don’t mind the park now that my kid is old enough so that I don’t feel like I need to watch him every minute. It’s kind of treat for me now: I have some time when my kid is occupied, and I can read a book or call a friend (and those two activities are a good defense mechanism for not engaging in chit-chat). Plus I think my kid is more focused after a bit of exercise, which means I’m more likely to have happy kid once we get home. So, it’s worth it.
Hang in there, I think it will get easier once your kid is older.
Here’s an idea, if you’re bored at the park, PLAY WITH YOUR KID. Or, call a friend? I’m sure no kid ever died from lack park time, but come on. Kids love the park and you’re lucky you have a nice sunny park to go to. There are parents who live far away from any nice parks, and parents who are stuck inside half the year because it’s too damn cold to go out. Suck it up and count your blessings.
Huh. I love the park because I only have to pay minimal attention to my kids. The park is my breaktime. As a stay-at-home-mom of 3 boys age 3 and under, anything that gets them out of our small-ish apartment and wears off some of their energy, with minimal output on my part (shoes? water? hats? let’s go!) is a winner in my book. Sad thing, I live in Chicago, so the park is not an option for half the year. I get what the author is saying (I find imaginative play with my kids to be mind-suckingly boring), but, hey, lady, suck it up. Judging from the amount and types of activities that you took your baby to, you sound pretty darn privileged. Some of us also go to the park because it’s FREE and that’s ALL THAT WE CAN AFFORD.
Even though it’s in the low-20s when I live and I’m DYING to go to a warm, sunny park, I can definitely understand why the author is so bored. A solution to playtime-doldrums that’s worked wonders for me is as follows: I’m learning a new language (Polish), so in the evening I read a little from a Polish book or magazine, make 30 or so flashcards of unfamiliar words, and carry the flashcards in my pocket the next day. When boredom sets in, I take out the flashcards and–in 2 or 3 minute increments–study. My spoken vocabulary has really improved in the last few months, and my 2 year old daughter still feels like she’s getting a lot of attention.
You are not alone. I occasionally have a great time in the park but most of the time, it’s trance time.
The park sucks! The comments about cleanliness seemed more to be for laughs … the comments about how boring it is … and how fun everything else is when your not there rang SO true!
I revise my comments after re-reading.
Taffy says “It’s only at the park that things turn.”
OK then, don’t go…simple as that. We all have our likes and dislikes.
This is such bad writing and perspective. I really don’t want to read other parent’s inarticulate rants about self-induced boredom and disgust with other moms’ dressing badly. You are exactly the mother I wouldn’t want to be around at the park, stay home!
Park sucks. Blocks at home alone sucks. That’s why I have a job — so I can pay someone to endure it some of the time.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who hates the park….I used to think it was because I was lazy, but then I realized it was because I was bored. But then I realized that I had to step back and let my kid do her own thing and do my own thing. And I am not required to interact with the other parents at all. You have to take the step back and not hover.
It also depends on which park you go to–we have one almost across the street that is terrible (like the one in the article) and so it’s barely used. A better quality park that is farther away might make all the difference. Once we started going farther away, my daughter found other kids to play with and started leaving me alone. And honestly, that’s what parks are there for and what kids need to do–play with themselves!
What really sucks is when you live in a place where it’s cold a good chunk of the year and you can’t go to the park–and your kid is bouncing off the walls from lack of activity or you have to sign them up for group activities to get exercise.
I felt the exact same way…I hated taking my daughter (now seventeen, thank god…) to the park. It WAS boring. Pushing her on the swings was endless and chasing her through the jungle gym was torture. I figured that I was just a bad parent…as you say…who wouldn’t want their kid to get exercise and have fun? Maybe I was just totally exhausted.
Apart from the many perils, there were the horrid brats that hogged the slide, so you would have to mediate (rather than yell obsenities at them) and get everyone to play nice. Yeah it was boring, and you couldn’t bring a book because what if your kid fell or got into some trouble…”wait until I finish this chapter sweetie…quit your crying, and bleeding…”
Anyway, there is really no way around it, so try to enjoy it, soon enough they will be old enough to go to the park by themselves and smoke dope and hang out…much better, eh?
Have a nice day!
this is awesome. i feel the same way at the park and have never quite been able to get another mom to agree with my sentiment. same thing, i love my kid and we play together all the time but the park makes me slightly depressed and crazy bored. even when i go with friends it’s lonely because your kids somehow always run in the exact opposite direction. my son and i go on walks in the neighborhood (and down to the coffee shop
instead.
When your child gets a little older you will probably like the park a lot more, if you keep giving it a chance. But here’s one thing that will probably help give it a chance. Leave your little mobile message machine at home, especially if you are going with just one child, or one who is not old enough to enjoy other kids. On holidays I often see people I don’t normally see at the park with their kids, people who have their eyes glued to their PDAs, compulsively checking their e-mail or facebook or texts or whatever. These are the ones who seem really irritated when their children speak or want off the swing or fall or whine or whatever. I feel sorry for both the parent and child. These adults don’t seem to know how to enjoy their little child one on one, outside of a structured class or storytime, and as long as they leave their mobile devices on, they’re going to be too distracted to learn how.
Seriously? I don’t love the park, but my daughter does – she’s crazy for it. I happen to like trance time; it gives me a break from constant demands for attention. Calling a friend to meet you there is great too. Take a book or magazine to read if you’re that bored. This is one time I can let my daughter go nuts while I can plop down on a bench and enjoy a little me time. And really, who cares what you’re wearing? Geez.
I feel the same way about the park. It’s lame, and I rarely took my daughter there until she was old enough to play on her own so I could steal a half an hour to read a book or magazine.What I hate are the mombies who insist on making every park excursion a baby Olympics or gossip fest. I only started to enjoy park outings even marginally when I moved from our old neighborhood into a less familiar one, and people left me alone.I love where I live now. The moms are friendly, but respectful of my space, the kids are nice, and I can often get through an entire people magazine in peace. The trick is to set a reasonable time limit and stick to it. I always figured half an hour was good enough for a 2 year old. No need to burn yourself out doing something you hate!
i don’t believe for a second that this writer is fascinated by block stacking and indoor games but just not the park. it’s all pretty tedious in my book.
but i agree about the swings and the annoying “imaginative” bs that comes out of parents’ mouths when their pushing their kids. i remember one dad playing a “what do you want for dinner?” kind of thing and he kept saying stuff like “are you going to have a slice of sky?” i felt like it was a performance for my benefit. ugh.
they’re, i meant!
this article is another example of how babble’s fallen by the wayside. the writing, content, subject matter…all of it has gotten boring, redundant, and sort of commercial (not to mention the not-so-subtle rip offs of other parenting mags). it’s the sort of tripe that i avoid in other parenting sites and print magazines. babble used to be awesome, and now….?
I hate going to the park. The kids there are filthy, have no manners and just plain awful (I’m not saying that cause they aren’t my little precious, either). I generally won’t take out my three unless the place is completely empty of any other child there, then I usually take along a friend of mine so that we can chat while the kids race and play and scream like they’re being murdered XP
After about 45 minutes, we come home, take out the bikes and they race up and down the street til dinner time. Or try the more dangerous thing of building ramps and trying to do tricks…did I mention they are 9, 6 and 6? Oh, and girls?
This article completely misses the mark for me. As a northeastern mommy who hasn’t taken her child outside to play since a freakishly warm halloween I would probably run you down to get a nice sunny day in the park. I can’t even see my backyard for all of the snow still on the ground; we got two feet before christmas and it the gray dreary weather hasn’t stopped since. This is my first winter with a toddler and it’s HARD keeping a busy child occupied when you have three months straight of below freezing temps. Maybe this writer will read some feedback from parents in other parts of the country and stop to appreciate how fortunate she is in that regard.
I’m kind of sad too that some parents find activities with thier child mind-numbing. Yes, childcare can be boring sometimes, but MIND-NUMBING? Harsh. And if you don’t want to talk to other mommies? Well, don’t talk to them.
huh, i can see some of points in the article, but i don’t relate very well. actually, i can think of nothing better than being in the open air with my crazy mob. indoors their voices are too loud and i wince, they climb over things like the couch and the table and i have to tell them to get down, they interfere with my quiet moments because they want me to do this or that for them.
on the other hand, when we’re outside, they can run free and i get to lift my face to the blue sky.
i’d also have to say, i think the writer is sadly out of touch with the experience of childhood. “Kids are endlessly needy, they can’t hold a conversation and they don’t know anything you don’t know.” pretty harsh. i don’t think my kids are empty vessels. each soul has its own perspective of life, unique and precious, regardless of age or knowledge. believe me, i feel the lack of adult contact the same as this writer, but that has nothing to do with liking or disliking the playground. me, i’m usually talking to a friend while the kids go down the slide.
i have no problem with parents who don’t like to take kids to the park. we’re all different. but you know what, lay off the ones of us who actually are having fun.
Wow, there is so much self-loathing coming off this article. Not
talking with others in the same situation, with the same pants, because
they’re not worth talking to? So you’re not worth talking to, because
you’re a mom in yoga pants at the park. How utterly sad. No wonder
you desperately cling to your non-Mommy world.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I totally understand the trance thing, when a kid is not quite old enough to run off and entertain themselves. And I understand not being interested in chit-chat with strangers. But I don’t understand why the author, and most of the previous commenters, go to a park all by themselves. You’re checking your cell for connections from friends — do you not have any mommy-friends? Friends who you can spend your time chatting with in real life? You know, friends that can keep an eye on your two year old while you go take a pee? That is the whole point of our trips to the park – chat time with mommy-friends. And no, we don’t talk endlessly about poop.
But that’s where the self-loathing comes in — that if you talk about poop, you’ve lost all ties to your non-mommy world – you’ve lost your identity. That’s ridiculous. It’s the culmination of shallow insecurities picked up form a culture that devalues motherhood under the guise of ‘equality’. A conversation with other mommy-friends about poop is NOT about POOP. It is about supporting each other, laughing, sharing ideas, and relaxing. It is about developing relationships that help carry you through the more challenging times. And when you go to the park with people you’ve developed actual relationships with, you talk about things far more reaching and meaningful than poop. You know, like TV-boyfriends and stuff.
I find going to the park thats closest to our home with my nearly 2 year old a little boring its safe, there arent many kids there but theres also not a whole lot of other things to play on either. I tend to only go to that one with my husband well walk over after tea and have some fresh air and a run about before bath time and bed. This is obviously only in the summer while its still light! Yesterday evening it was swarming with kids and it was brilliant they were all playing together (I think the increase in numbers was due to a day of real sunshine in the UK that gets everyone out and about). I think that one only bores me because its all the same equipment and hes too small to use the climbing frame.
I enjoy the one near my mums house better its by a caf’ so we walk up there with my mum and dogs and sometimes well get an ice cream or a coffee its better and more fun because he can be more independent. Hes still small enough to need me catching him at the bottom of the slide or stopping him from running into a swing but Ive never just sat down at the park Ive chatted with my mum, husband, parent friends (dads go to the park too!) and friends who dont have kids but still join in the fun spinning my boy on a roundabout or helping him onto a bouncer. In fact its a great place to take a girlfriend with no kids far less stress than sitting in a caf’ or going to their house with no toys or stair gates!
I agree with what one of the other posters said about trying out other parks there are so many near us and most of them offer something completely new or different. I also agree with the phone comments just put it away! Maybe I act goofier at the park than the writer because I work 3 days a week but probably not Id rather be the crazy mum pretending to buy a cow and some eggs and an umbrella from my son in a piece of equipment we pretend is a shop or playing peepo behind a tree or burying his feet in the sandpit or counting up the steps of the slide than the bored mummy sitting staring at my phone waiting for someone to call. Reality check anyone at work will be at work so wont be sending silly texts or making long chatty phonecalls or updating facebook, any mummy or daddy friends will be staring at their phone waiting for someone to call why not be the one who makes the call and meets up in the park?!
Im sure as my son gets older and more aware of the dangers of walking into swings Ill feel more redundant at the park but theres no way well stop going as long as the park stays free and the weather is dry!
You are the parent I cannot stand at the park. Please stay home. While I am attentive and keeping an eye on my child to make sure she is safe and not causing problems you are the idiot glued to your phone. You wonder why your child just got nailed in the head by my kid’s foot when she ran in front of the swings? It’s because you’re an inattentive, self-absorbed idiotic parent. I cringe when I see you at the park because I know something unpleasant is bound to happen. I feel sorry for your kid. Stay away from my parks. I don’t want you there.
Dakchi. How is your kid going to learn to play with other kids and resolve his own differences with you hovering around? Sit down, read a book-Leave your poor kid alone.
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I feel the exact same way. Except my kids are older. I think there is more guilt when they are older and all their friends go to the park. Last spring/summer my kids were 10 and 5. Both girls. I decided that each month in spring and summer we would travel and find new parks. We would explore them, take pictures, and then make a scrapbook. I’ll admit, I liked the adventure park of it. So much in fact, we have kept up the tradition finding many new parks since then. I’m actually looking forward to doing it again these coming months. Try it, it may work for you too.