My 3-Year-Old is Preparing for the Baconpocalypse in a Gross Way

My best has to be one of the most adorable toddlers I know. Most will agree with me too. His golden hair, and bright blue eyes will melt through your heart. His quirky replies that make you think of him as a grown man don’t hurt either.

Some day, he will be a complete heart breaker. For now though, he is a gross, three-year-old toddler boy. And we had yet another gross boy run-in yesterday afternoon.

All of my children were playing in the living room, while I sat on the couch with my iPad going through a couple last minute e-mails for the day. The 2 boys were playing with their line of fire trucks maybe 3 feet away from me at most, and Addie was running up and down the hallway at full speed.

A second later Ben is crying and turns to me with a bloody nose. Of course, injuries are one of the parts of parenthood I absolutely hate because they happen way too often and I hate blood! In fact, once time in middle school I passed out cold on the floor of the emergency room after seeing blood, but that is a different story for another day.

Back to Benjamin.

As I turn to grab a package of baby wipes  he starts to say the word, “Bacon.” In between the tears!

Bloody nose. Check.
Wipes. Check.
Bacon? What the hell?

“Ben, what about bacon?”

As I moved towards him to clean his nose I noticed something inside his nose and I panicked. First thought? A coin. His piggy bank is a new fascination and I am paranoid that I will end up with a kid that eats a penny or ends up with it stuck inside his nose. As I moved his head to get a better look, it was confirmed. Not a penny. Not a coin. But what in the hell was it?

With a gentle tug, I pulled out what looked to be a giant piece of cartilage. Gross right? Oh but it gets better!  And far more comical!

As I am thinking that a huge chunk of my 3-year-old’s nose just fell into my palm, he starts crying about bacon again!

“Ben… what is wrong with bacon?”

“Mommy, I put bacon in my nose!”

I look down and it all starts to make sense. The piece of toddler nose wasn’t nose at all, it was a small piece of bacon, about the size of my pinky nail.

Which is when I started laughing hysterically. Really? Bacon? He put BACON in his nose? Where did he GET bacon? Had it come from the kitchen? Lunch? Did the dog track it into the living room?

But above all else… why in the hell did he put the bacon into his nose?!

My only guess is he is freaking out about the baconpocalypse just as much as the rest of us are!

Bacon. Only Ben!

I’ll have to test some of these recipes out so he doesn’t panic again!

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Read more on Toddler Times from Danielle:

You Might Be a Bad Mom If…
17 Facts about Addie at 17 Months Old
Constant Chaos and Failure: An Overwhelmed Mother


Article Posted 4 years Ago
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