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Mommy, Where’s Your Third Leg?

By Naomi Odes |

toddler looking up

Learning and exploring new things every day.

My 19-month old has been fascinated by his “unit” for some time now. He’s even more fascinated by his brother’s equipment which has forced me to utter words I never imagined I’d have to put together in the same sentence:

“Everyone keep your hands on your own penis!”

(Please.)

The nightly bath and pre-pajama game of penis-grabbing is almost too much for me. I try to deal with it as nonchalantly as possible, but I know if I leave them alone and I hear screaming…that’s what’s going on. For sure, the older one eggs him on, but it seems that I can add penises to Fuzz’s list of obsessions.

When I’m changing his diaper he’ll grab it and and say “pee-pee.” When I cover it up with the diaper, I say:

“Bye-bye penis, see you next time,” and remove his hand.

So then he says “bye-bye pee-pee” too.

Then, he blows it a kiss.

I’m dead serious.

If that isn’t enough, Fuzz recently discovered what I have…or rather what I don’t have.

It was bound to happen. I mean, his eyes are pretty much at crotch-level, now. One day I was walking around in my towel after a shower. He came up to me and opened it up, then walked away.

Then, two seconds later, he came back and checked again.

A toddler version of “Wait, what?” just went through his head.

Then, it became funny. He kept checking, laughing, then walking away, then coming back and repeating the whole thing.

I imagine this is what’s going through his head:

“Where is her penis? Why doesn’t she have one? How sad.”

That last part was added by my husband, FYI…

How goes the body part exploration in your household?

More posts by Naomi Odes Aytur
Who’s The Witch During The Witching Hour, You Or Your Toddler?
How To Get Your Toddler To Be More Active
Does Your Toddler Like The Ocean?

Read more of my posts on Toddler Times.
Check out my personal blog. I Am Still Awake.
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About Naomi Odes

naomi

Naomi Odes

Naomi Odes Aytur is a blogger who's contributed on the parenting channel of Babble. She chronicles her experiences of being a new mom on her personal website, I Am Still Awake. Read bio and latest posts → Read Naomi's latest posts →

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12 thoughts on “Mommy, Where’s Your Third Leg?

  1. Thomas Crowell says:

    Similarly, before I had sons I never thought I’d utter the phrase: “Put down the urinal cake!” Although it’s been 8 years, my wife is convinced my son’s hand is still not clean…

    1. Naomi says:

      @Tom- may I ask, what is a urinal “cake.” I feel I need to know this as mom of two boys. I suppose I could ask my husband, but your answer will probably be better.

  2. Lauren says:

    Omg this was hilarious!! Thanks for making me giggle!

  3. Danielle says:

    My favorite story is when Maddy walked in on her dad in the shower when she was about 3 and said “look, daddy has a tail.” So, now the euphemism for penis in our house is “tail.” And, for some reason, we started referring to girl parts as “your area,” which Maddy used until a friend of hers kindly taught her the word “vagina” about a year ago. Apparently, my husband and I are not very good in the genitalia naming department. Abby has started calling her girl parts “area” and also tries to put diaper cream on herself, which is so helpful of course.

    1. Naomi says:

      @Danielle- LOVE that Abby calls it her area…I gotta see that one on video, I”m sure it’s so cute!

  4. Jaimy says:

    Omg my oldest did something similar. We we’re all in the bathroom getting ready for bath time, he looks around, at Daddy “Penis”, at his little brother “Penis” and then he looks at me quizzically “No penis.” And now the youngest has discovered his and thinks it the greatest thing. So much so that he will try to pinch his brother’s as well. Never thought I’d be saying “Don’t pinch your brother’s penis.”

  5. Steve says:

    @Naomi for Tom – At the bottom of urinals they typically use this scented chemical “cake” as an air freshener and it also may have some cleaning properties. Think of the bleach tabs that people put into the toilet bowel tanks except instead of being submerged and invisible they kind of just sit there staring back at you. They can be a helpful aiming tool for young ones.

  6. Jessica says:

    There was the day one of my guys found his way directly under me in a towel or robe and said, “Mommy, will you pee on me? I want to see where it comes out.” And then they go through the “look I have a vagina” phase where they figure out how to tuck all the boy parts between their legs and show off the feat to each other.

    1. Naomi says:

      Oh Jessica…it’s nice to hear you made it out of that alive…

  7. The Mommy Psychologist says:

    Once you have a son, you completely understand a bit more about men. They are fascinated with their penises from the moment they discover them and it looks like the fascination never ever goes away:)

    “The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself.” http://www.themommypsychologist.com

  8. Melissa says:

    It’s not just boys…. My daughter is 4, and her brother is 18 months, she was all intrigued by the differences, and grabbed in one day during bath time. I was appalled, but tried to take it in stride, and said “No touching other people’s penises and vaginas!” Needless to say, they no longer bathe together unless I’m in a time constraint and can watching them like a hawk!

  9. Sadie says:

    omg this is so funny! i think all little boys are obsessed with and thrilled by their penises. i remember when my brother was little, and he would go on and on about how he has a penis, dad has a penis, uncle ed has a penis, grandpop harley has a penis, and so on. and i heard the story about how one time when he was in the bath after first learning what exactly it was, he leaned over and tried to kiss it, saying ‘i love my penis!’ it’s definitely funny to bring up now that we’re older. but all boys get like that. it’s so funny.

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