It seems like the sexuality of my almost 3 year old has been brought up dozens of times in the past two weeks.
Maybe it is the tail end of the terrible twos, maybe it is just him being a normal toddler… but I am sick of hearing how my son acts like a girl or is going to be a fairy when he grows up. Seriously? There are so many things wrong with these comments it is hard for me to even find a starting point!
First question is… how exactly is a girl supposed to act? Are we supposed to buy into prissy-whiny stereotypes and force our kids to continue these ignorant gender stereotypes so our kids have to live by them too?
Now that I have a daughter it makes me feel even stronger about it. I am not going to raise her to feel like she must be whiny or scared of getting dirty. That is just downright offensive. And I am not going to make my son think there is something wrong with him because he prefers Dora over Diego and the pink bath crayon over the green!
Last week when we were at the playground he wanted to play with all the little girls. My guess is it was because he was much younger than the boys on the playground his big brother was hanging with. Plus, they were playing pretty rough! One mom made a back handed comment about him being the gay friend later on in life. I felt like saying, Or maybe he will just be the guy who actually knows how to treat women with respect because he has taken the time to build real friendships with girls?
Another example is when I come home from the nail salon. He is always interested in the color I picked for the next couple weeks. He wants to paint his nails too… and that is fine. Letting my two year old paint his nails is not going to change his sexuality! There are other moms here on Babble with toddler boys who like nail polish!
The straw that broke the camels back was a friend commenting on his behavior, who said he whines like a girl. This comment is not only unacceptable but also totally offensive. I wish in the moment I would have thought of something far more witty to say than, if he is gay… oh well – such is life! Because looking back now, I have so much I could have shot back. Especially since I have a daughter, and my little girl isn’t whiny. So what if Ben is whiny or is having an issue in life right now? He is the middle child. You wouldn’t say all kids who are suffering from that middle child syndrome are going to be gay.
But in the case that he does grow up to be gay… Oh well! There is nothing wrong with it at all!
Since I am a firm believer in the fact that people are in fact born gay, I find myself thinking – are these characteristics shaping his sexuality? Which completely has me pissed, because the last thing any parent of a toddler should be worrying about is who their child is going to love and marry in another twenty-something years.
Will I be upset or disappointed if he is gay? HELL NO! It is part of life.
I won’t treat him any differently now – or then.
Can we just let kids be freaking kids and leave the what if labels out of it? Seriously!
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