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How to Make Your Nanny Really Care

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 1 of 16

    Make Your Nanny Really Care This is it. You’ve found her. She’s been to your house a few times, and your kids love her. You find yourself daydreaming about her during morning drop-off and emailing throughout the day, confirming you are still on for Friday night. But how do you make sure your nanny feels the same? Here are 14 ways to make her (or him) want to stay and fall head over heels for your little monsters … I mean angels.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 2 of 16

    Take her out sometimes — without the kids

    Take her out sometimes - without the kids Your nanny is aware of everything that happens in your house, whether or not you want her to be. Your kids confide in her, messages and packages arrive while you’re out, and calendars are detailed recordings of plans. She knows when you are organizing your annual holiday party or a special surprise party for your spouse. Send the kids to a friend’s house for the night and invite her out. She will know you see her and value her in an adult context, too.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 3 of 16

    Don’t ask for her advice unless you really want it

    Don’t ask for her advice unless you really want it Taking care of your kids is your nanny’s career, and she is an expert. She is a miracle worker with potty training, picky eaters, and getting your kids out the door in the mornings. She has seen a wide range of calamities in her time and has handled the worst of temper tantrums, which is why you hired her. She might not have advanced degrees but she can probably get your kid to sleep in 15 minutes. If you want her advice, be prepared to trust in what she says, even if it bruises your ego. She’s likely to have some opinions that are quite different from yours — and she might well be right.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 4 of 16

    Round up when you pay her

    Round up when you pay her You know that loving your child is easy, but occupying him all day is exhausting (which is probably why you got a nanny in the first place). Round up when paying her, even if it is only a dollar or two. Adding a couple extra bucks will pay for her coffee on her way to your house Monday morning and let her know you appreciate her dedication and hard work.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 5 of 16

    If she’s having a bad day, be sensitive about it

    If she’s having a bad day, be sensitive about it Just like you, nannies have bad days at work. Whether it’s the limited amount of adult interaction she’s had or a few too many tantrums to contend with, she might be a little huffy when you get home. Take the time to ask her if she’s okay and if there’s something you can do. That way she will feel you care about her and that you know her well enough to identify when she is not herself.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 6 of 16

    Be clear about your wants, needs, and schedules

    Be clear about your wants, needs, and schedules Make sure everyone in the house is on the same page. Getting one story from dad on the phone about what is expected and another story from mom when you arrive creates a frustrated nanny. Mix-ups happen, and messages cross, but do your best to communicate clearly so she does not feel like she is dealing with two extra kids.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 7 of 16

    Celebrate her big moments

    Celebrate her big moments She knows every family member’s birthday, (including the dog’s), so try to remember hers. Have your kids make her a present. She will enjoy a clay handprint just as much as you do on Mother’s Day. Let them paint and decorate a picture frame and put your little angel in there (a picture with her is even better if you have it). Your nanny is emotionally attached to your child, so while she’ll appreciate a bonus check, she’ll treasure a handmade present, too.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 8 of 16

    Let her know when you’re coming back

    Let her know when you’re coming back Give your nanny a heads-up of when she can expect you home — even a “20 minutes away” warning is appreciated. And do not forget to let her know when you are running late. Most nannies have limited time for a social life, and giving an ETA lets her plan when she can squeeze in a little time with her friends or significant other. Be considerate of plans she has and expect that she does have a life outside your home.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 9 of 16

    Instead of canceling, give her another gig

    Instead of canceling, give her another gig If you do not need your nanny on a certain day or night, offer her to a trusted friend, someone who will value her just as much, and make up for the lack of pay you are not able to offer. She’ll enjoy being your social group’s nanny, will get to meet the kids your child plays with, and will feel even more loyal to you than she did before.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 10 of 16

    She is not your kid’s employee

    She is not your kid’s employee Your nanny is an authority figure and needs to be respected as such. Children should not be allowed to order her around. They need to know your nanny is in charge and is on the same team as mommy and daddy. No adult wants to have to pay lip service to a tiny tot. Include your kids in the hiring process and sit down with the nanny as a family so everyone knows she has just as much clout as mom and dad.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 11 of 16

    Respect her decisions

    Respect her decisions You would never overturn your spouse’s ruling when he/she is not around so give your nanny the same courtesy. If she has informed you of a decision, such as earlier bed time due to a skipped nap or what the child will wear to school the next day, follow through. If you have questions to ask or want to discuss her decisions, do it. Just try not to undo her day’s work.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 12 of 16

    Don’t expect her to help if she’s not paid

    Don’t expect her to help if she’s not paid If you invite your nanny to your kid’s party off-hours and do not plan on paying her, make sure you don’t ask her to work. Sure, she can give you a hand entertaining, cleaning up after, and snapping pictures during the party, but she’ll have to volunteer, not be expected to. She might find it hard not to help out, but try to put her at ease and let her enjoy the celebration as a guest.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 13 of 16

    Get creative

    Get creative Your nanny has your child’s best interests at heart, which includes making sure they have time to spend with their parents. If you’re home while the nanny is there and want to spend time with your kids, have your nanny do the laundry or run errands while you and the children play (as long as you’ve agreed in advance that she’s comfortable doing these things). In most cases, she won’t mind tending the house so your kids can get the best care, straight from mom and dad.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 14 of 16

    Share your opinion of her with your kids

    Share your opinion of her with your kids Let your kids know that you like, trust, and value your nanny, and they should too — but only if they feel it. Do not force a loving relationship between your child and nanny and never punish if your child says he doesn’t like your nanny. Talk about it and respect that each person, tall and small, has his own feelings and opinions.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 15 of 16

    Watch out for mini-manipulators

    Watch out for mini-manipulators Remember that your kids, even at 2, know your weak spots and will use them. If your child seems to complain when your nanny is a topic of conversation or acts up when you are about to leave, talk about issues and concerns before taking drastic action. Kids often know just what to say to get what they want, especially when it’s simply more time with you! Your nanny has seen it all and can help you decide if your child just wants his way or if there is an actual issue in the arrangement. Consult her as a professional, and she is likely to be honest in her report.

  • How to Make Your Nanny Really Care 16 of 16
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