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Pre-Chewing Baby's Food: 7 Disgusting Things Moms Do With Their Toddlers

By Monica Bielanko |

C'mere you. Mama can clean that dirty face up in a jiff with her SUPER SALIVA!

I hesitated writing about the Alicia Silverstone “drama” of last week because, quite frankly, I don’t get what the uproar is about.

So she chews up food and spits it in her kid’s mouth?  Big freaking deal.

Every day moms all over the world do that and a lot of other seemingly gross things to their kids.  Yes, even you Judgy McJudgerson over there judging Alicia and her pre-chewing.  Are you going to sit there with a straight face and tell me you’ve never cleaned your kid’s face with your own spit?

That’s pretty gross.  Maybe Ms. Silverstone would look at you rubbing your dirty spit all over your kid’s face and think you’re gross.  How ’bout them apples?

I saw that Mommyish had put together a list of disgusting things most moms do, including the old spit shine routine, so I jumped off from there to create a list of weird stuff we women do as a part of Being A Mom.

Check it out below: 7 gross things that goes down in the name of motherhood:

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7 Gross Things Moms Do With Their Toddlers

Pre-Chewing Food

It's called premastication which sounds even worse than pre-chewing if that is even possible. But yeah, the world became aware of this little known mom practice after actress Alicia Silverstone uploaded a video of herself eating soup and spitting it into her toddler's mouth. While it isn't something I would do I don't get what the uproar is about. She's obviously a loving mom so who cares about a little pre-chewed food. Go worry about the parent locking their kid in the closet, wouldja?

What am I missing? What things do you do in the name of motherhood that others might find disgusting?

All images courtesy: Flickr.com

You can also find Monica Bielanko on her personal blog, The Girl Who.

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About Monica Bielanko

monica-bielanko

Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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22 thoughts on “Pre-Chewing Baby's Food: 7 Disgusting Things Moms Do With Their Toddlers

  1. Meagan says:

    Did you notice most of these are grooming habits? I don’t really have a point, just think it’s interesting. Makes me wonder if it’s partly instictive.

  2. Melanie says:

    My husband and I both had to catch puke in our hands in a Thai restaurant once. It was a lot of puke. We didn’t realize our daughter was allergic to eggs and they made her projectile vomit all over the place. We left a really big tip that time!

  3. Roni says:

    The Poop Finger! HA ha HA ha .. all the time!

  4. Chris says:

    I have done most of those listed above. BUT, I had to draw a line somewhere.
    Chewing my kids food for them… Oh, Hell NO!

  5. Tania says:

    These are so funny! My daughter had a stomach bug while I was pregnant with my son. I was holding a bucket for her to vomit into. The smell made me vomit so I grabbed the bucket from her to use myself and caught her vomit in my hands. She’s sixteen and still remembers it. We do what’s needed to survive….and Judgy, go screw yourself!

  6. SNSinNC says:

    I saw the Alicia Silverstone thing (not actually knowing who it was…) and didn’t think anything of it until the media went nuts. I mean, I won’t say I’ve done it quite to that extreme, but I will bite something in half to give my toddler if I don’t have a knife handy (grapes, etc.) and that’s not all that different and I’d never think twice about it. I remember distinctly that feeling when he was all new and tiny that I could just lick him all over like a kitten (don’t worry, I didn’t, he was just so yummy). I mean, he was inside me – there just isn’t much we don’t share (I mean, he kindly shares every germ he has with me).

    I haven’t, and don’t imagine I will, catch puke with my bare hands. My automatic reaction is to run screaming the other way. I won’t do that either, but I don’t think my brain can override that inclination enough to force myself to catch it…

  7. Liz says:

    I’ve done all of the above except for using spit to fix hair (but I’ve got 2 boys). As for the pre-mastication thing…I never did that for my kids (unless you count me biting peanut M&Ms in half so that they’re less likely to get lodged in anyone’s throat), but how do you suppose young kids were fed way back before the days of kitchen utensils? I would bet that the kid’s immune system even receives a boost from being exposed to whatever else is in the mother’s saliva.

  8. Starsky says:

    My daughter was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes when she was 12 years old. For years, I had to poke her finger with a needle to test her blood and give her shots of insulin at least four times a day. Before this, I was scared to death of needles. We were lucky that she was not a young child or baby who would have to be held down, that would have been so much worse.

    For those who don’t know, you do not outgrow Juvenile Diabetes, there is no cure, and it does not go away on its own. It is a much different disease than Adult Onset Diabetes (Type II).

  9. Sara says:

    Chewing up food for them? No. Biting grapes in half for them and taking the food out of my mouth, putting it straight into theirs? Yes. Is the line that fine? Hmmm…

  10. Sage says:

    You’re right, it’s no more gross than anything else that comes with Motherhood, not judging. But after a week or two of having to chew all the food first, and then attempting to actually get the food IN the child’s mouth Ms. Silverstone with unearth her food processor and rubber tipped spoons for the sheer convenience of it.

  11. Brandi says:

    As a child I HATED my mom cleaning me with her spit. Seriously HATED HER FOR IT! My almost 5 year old has only had to endure it once. I searched all over the car/diaper bag for anything to wipe her face with — nothing was to be found & for some reason I felt her face really needed to be cleaned.

    Boogers in the nose drive me NUTS. Must get boogers out at all cost. lol

  12. lydia says:

    THANK YOU for this. I’m so over people freaking the hell out about her doing that. WHO CARES! Most mothers do incredibly disgusting things to/with their children if you stop to actually analyze it. They came out of our VAGINAS for god’s sake. I mean, get over it, people.

  13. alejandra says:

    My first thought was that it was gross. But now that I really think about it, on several occasions my daughter has gotten some really hard gumballs so I’ve had to chew it a bit before letting her have it. I guess the mothering instincts just kick in before even really noticing if its gross. : )

  14. D says:

    the spit on the face, the poop on the finger. Been there, done that. too many times. The strange satisfaction in picking his nose. Yep. oh, and you might as well nickname my sleeves hankie some days.

  15. Mary says:

    Have done everything on your list and then some but the whole pre chewing and then spitting food into someone else’s mouth???? Nope and the thought of doing so grosses me out more than I can tell you. It’s akin to using someone else’s toothbrush or just having someone spit into your mouth…. ugh! I’m totally grossing myself out now LOL

  16. Megan says:

    I think all of these things are completely instinctual. It is hormonal, it is natural, it is motherly. I have done all except the puke catch, just because I’ve never had to (or had the opprotunity.. ie puking all over the backseat/their carseat while I was driving). I have chewed thick pieces of meat that they wanted to try (but haven’t spit it into the mouth, just onto a spoon), I have dug out the most grotesque boogers you would ever come into contact with, I have accidentally lunged my finger tip into poop, spit cleansed faces and used it to smooth down finicky stray hairs, and of course, used the tip of a finger nail to catch that big clump of earwax just sitting at the edge of the ear canal. They were all done at times where I had no other options. Let me be judged, but at least I’m not being chastised for having dirty children. They are clean, happy, healthy and I would sacrifice my “dignity” for them any day.

  17. Person says:

    My mother never did any of that for me, so that all seems pretty gross to me. I doubt if I ever have kids I’ll do any of that either, but I suppose there’s no way of knowing until you are a mother and develop your own habits. Eh.

  18. Alicia says:

    My son has SUPER waxy ears, I always wipe them out usually with a tissue. But if we are on the go and I don’t have any I will use my bare finger or *shirt sleeve* gross but it gets the job done. Haha. I have done pretty much all of these except the extreme of chewing food then spitting it in my son’s mouth. but I have bit things into smaller pieces for him. When we eat grapes I usually bite them in half, eat the half that’s in my mouth then give him the other =P, But sometimes when he is being a little piggy I’ll give him the one in my mouth. Being a Mom is a messy job! <3 but I love it.

  19. dezi's mom says:

    Yup guilty of the nose picking, spit shine, and poop finger. I am sure some of the other’s will come in time since this is my first and he is only 13 months, but I doubt I would do the food pre-chewing thing… Just not for me.

  20. Lisa S. says:

    I caught toddler vomit with my boobs once rather than let it hit the couch. I’ve also dealt with the worst diaper blowout in the history of mankind which occurred 15 minutes after we lost our water service to a main break.

  21. JRmomof2boys says:

    Lol!! No premasticating or putting my finger in the diaper for me. I have been pooped on and got it on me while changing a blowout before but, not because I put my finger in there to check. Done/ do everything else on the list though haha!!

  22. jennifer caldiero says:

    i have to say i have caught my own vomit and my son’s in my hands. we were on a road trip for only an hour when puke started flying. i caught the first round in my hands with nowhere to put it. the second round went all over my mom’s leather jacket that was over the driver’s seat. oops, very messy clean up and nauseating smell for the next 6 hours to get home. not the best drive but we made it:)

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