Quit Being Creepy, KidBeth Anne Ballance
Please stop Children-of-the-Corning me.
I love you, but it is incredibly creepy to wake up and find you silently breathing on me at 3:30am. I open my eyes and HOLY CRAP! there you are and my blood pressure flies and I’m grasping for my glasses to make sure it’s you and not a true life scene from Paranormal Activity. By the time I have you back in bed after a sip of water, I’m essentially in cage fighting mode from the 3-foot serial killer wannabe that woke me from a precious REM cycle.
Equally disturbing is at 9pm when you sneak downstairs after I put you to bed and I round a corner to find you silently standing there. I know what it is— you know you’re not supposed to be up so you’re not sure how to approach me. But dude, it’s creepy as hell. Knock it off.
This also goes for midnight, nap time, 4:45am, and really any time.
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