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Things I Seriously Say in a Day

No Joke!

I never thought parenting a toddler would really dumb me down as much as it has… but when you have to say stuff like “don’t eat toilet paper” a half dozen times in a day… it kind of challenges your IQ level!

I decided to start jotting down some of the stuff I have to say more than once in a day and I was kind of astonished by the ever growing list of common sense warnings.

I have to stop and giggle though because I never thought I would be saying half of these things… even when being a parent.

My readers were also nice enough to lend some of their daily comical sayings and common sense warnings. I can tell you I felt so much better after reading through some of them!

I would love for you guys to share some of the hilarious crap you have to tell your toddlers in a day as well, because lets be real here… I don’t want to be alone!


  • BEN! Get your brother’s underwear OUT of your MOUTH! 1 of 16
    BEN! Get your brother's underwear OUT of your MOUTH!
    Seriously?
    When did undies become a tasty treat?
    They just don't belong in your mouth! EW!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Did you just pee on my floor? 2 of 16
    Did you just pee on my floor?
    Oh the joys of potty training!
    Those mystery puddles on the floor that you have to get way to close to in order to identify the liquid.
    Is it water? Juice? Pee?
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Did someone poopy? 3 of 16
    Did someone poopy?
    Between a two year old who still isn't potty trained and a baby... you never know who pooped!
    The best part is the when the toddler lies and says no!
    Photo Credit: Shutterstock
  • We don’t use other people’s tooth brushes! 4 of 16
    We don't use other people's tooth brushes!
    My toddler thinks everyone has community tooth brushes!
    Character tooth brushes apparently aren't as exciting as my run of the mill adult tooth brush.
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Are you chewing on a brush? 5 of 16
    Are you chewing on a brush?
    My hair brush goes missing about a dozen times a day.
    Apparently hair is pretty damn tasty because the toddler thinks it is a chew toy.
    Are we out of the puppy stage yet?
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • The TV stand is NOT a seat! 6 of 16
    The TV stand is NOT a seat!
    The two year old has decided the super tiny spot on the TV stand is a chair.
    NO you cannot sit that close to the television!
    NO you cannot sit on the TV stand!
    AHHHHH!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • We don’t eat toilet paper! 7 of 16
    We don't eat toilet paper!
    Is there something appetizing about toilet paper?
    Because I am missing the catch altogether!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Please don’t try to wipe your own butt! 8 of 16
    Please don't try to wipe your own butt!
    OH Lordy Lordy!
    Ever have a two year old try to wipe their own butt while still potty training?
    Yeah not a walk in the park!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • No! You cannot take a nap with all your fire trucks! 9 of 16
    No! You cannot take a nap with all your fire trucks!
    Fire trucks are a complete obsession in our house.
    Now the toddler thinks they can all share his bed with him.
    No matter what time of the day it is he wants all the trucks in his bed to sleep with!<BR.
  • No – Your Barbie doesn’t want to take her clothes off again 10 of 16
    No - Your Barbie doesn't want to take her clothes off again
    Submitted by Kelly T
    I can't imagine having naked barbies all around the house.
    BUT!
    I know it is something in my near future!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Get your hands out of your pants!!!! 11 of 16
    Get your hands out of your pants!!!!
    Submitted by Katy W.
    Yeah this is something I certainly have said enough times!
    What is with toddlers and doing inappropriate things in public?
    It is almost like it is genetically coded into them!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Don’t bite the dog! 12 of 16
    Don't bite the dog!
    Submitted by Stephanie M.
    I am almost glad that I haven't had to say this one yet!
    Poor dog!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Get that tooth brush out of the toilet! 13 of 16
    Get that tooth brush out of the toilet!
    Submitted by Shannon D.
    YIKES!
    I thought our community tooth brush issues took the cake!
    Throw that one right into the garbage!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • STOP eating out of the garbage! 14 of 16
    STOP eating out of the garbage!
    Submitted by Jen H.
    She also includes she DOES feed her toddler!
    Icky Icky!
    Toddlers love to eat the grossest things!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • If you want to be a dare devil you have to do it when your Daddy is home! 15 of 16
    If you want to be a dare devil you have to do it when your Daddy is home!
    Submitted by Amanda K.
    I second this one!
    If they want to climb or fall off of something... do it when Daddy is home!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Your sister is not a step stool! 16 of 16
    Your sister is not a step stool!
    Submitted by Kira R.
    I am surprised I haven't had to use this one in my house yet!
    I guess I can look forward to it right?
    Photo Credit: Flickr

Read more from Danielle on DanielleElwood.com
Follow Danielle on Facebook and Twitter!

Read more on Toddler Times from Danielle:

Mommy Needs a Good Sympathetic Laugh!
15 Awesome Etsy Accents for Your Toddlers Room
8 Outdoor Toys All Toddlers Need!


 

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