Hi guys! Huck again! Today we’re going to talk about how NOT to feed your toddler. As in, five things you should NEVER do. Ready?
1. NEVER LEAVE YOUR TODDLER WITH AN “EMPTY” CONTAINER OF YOGURT
Dude you should SEE the havoc I can wreak with one measly teaspoon of organic blueberry yogurt!
2. NEVER GIVE YOUR TODDLER MORE THAN A HALF A CUP OF FOOD AT ONE GO
Anything more than a handful goes straight in my hair. BAM! Fistfuls of macaroni hair! BOOYAH! You know, maybe this is only if your toddler is a food hair artist like me. Maybe not, I don’t know. But probably!
3. NEVER GIVE YOUR TODDLER FOOD THAT IS TOO HOT
Guys, why am I going to eat that lasagna if it’s roughly the temperature of the Earth’s core? NOTHING tastes good when your tongue’s burned and you’re afraid the next bite will hurt real bad. DUH, Mom!
4. NEVER KEEP YOUR CANDY IN THE SAME PLACE TWICE
Toddlers have really awesome memories when it comes to sour patch kids. I will hunt you guys down, you sour little stinkers!
5. IF YOU HAND A KID A BAGEL, EXPECT THAT THE BAGEL WILL SOMEHOW MAKE IT DOWN HIS DIAPER
I mean, common sense here.
What else, fellow toddlers of America? (I need some new tricks, I’ve been entirely too well-behaved lately!)