The Gap - How Far Is Too Far?


When my son was born I had two kids under two.  My daughter was only 20 months old, still a baby herself in many ways.

I always wanted to have my kids close in age.  I grew up with two sisters who were four and eight years younger than me.  While now we are very close and great friends, the age gap was hard growing up because we were in such different stages of life.

I wanted my kids to be closer in age so they could have more of a relationship while they grow up together, and I am loving watching the relationship between them blossom. But, I didn’t realize how hard it would be.  How many times I would get to the end of the day and feel like I just got my butt kicked.  How tired and overwhelmed I would feel.  How there would be no way I could consider having another  baby that close in age to my son.  How my son just turned two and I still feel like I have my hands full and don’t know how I would manage another baby.

So I’m still in a little bit of shock that my husband said to me the other day, “I think it would be okay if you got pregnant again.”

Really?!  Another baby? Am I ready?  I don’t know.  I’m guess I’m at least ready to start thinking about it.

The reality is if I got pregnant right away, the new baby and my son would be three years apart.  Three years was always the maximum I wanted my kids to be spaced. But of course, it could take a couple months (or longer) to get pregnant again and that pushes the gap even further apart.

I’m at that stage where I kind of feel like the clock is ticking, as far as the spacing of my children is concerned, but I’m still not really sure I’m ready to have another baby.

So how do you know when you’re ready to add to your family?  How to you decide how far apart in age you want your kids to be?