My mother in law always tells the story of how when she went into labor with her second son, she cried when she left the house because she knew it was the last time she’d be with Casey (my husband) as an only child. And of course, she means no negativity or hard feelings toward her younger son, whom she clearly loves just as much. But as this moment continues to creep closer and closer to us, it’s something I can’t stop thinking about.
We are so excited to add to our family, and my heart just bursts thinking about two little boys growing up to by what I hope are great friends. But it doesn’t change the fact that we’ve had two years to devote solely to caring for and about just Cullen. We do our best not to spoil him or dote on him too much, but obviously we give him a lot of attention and individual love and care. I worry about how we’ll be able to do that with another guy in the picture.
And of course, I worry about giving baby brother his fair share of our love and attention too! I know these are things all new parents of two think about, and everyone assures me that your heart grows and changes, and adapts to the new family dynamic. I’m holding onto the hope that this is true.
In the meantime, we are soaking up these last days of parents of one. We’re taking lots of long walks, visiting Cullen’s favorite spots, going out to eat, and doing all the things that seem like they might be harder once there is a newborn in the picture. Of course, we will figure out how to do all of this stuff all over again – just as we did the first time when Cullen was born. And I’m guessing (hoping?) we’ll actually have an easier go of it with round two, since we know a bit more about what to expect this time. But I also know that there will be a learning and adjustment period, and so I want to make those most of these last few days and weeks where we still do things with ease and have a relatively predictable schedule.
One more week to go!