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The Life of a Musician’s Wife: My Survival Guide

By Selena Mae |

When in doubt…just play.

I’ve written about being the partner of a musician/webmaster before. While I knew exactly what I was getting into all those years ago, one can never imagine how challenging a situation is going to be until they’re actually in it. At first I was going to present a series of tips for life touring on the road with toddlers.

But we haven’t done that in a while. We used to do it a lot, when we had just one baby, but as you can imagine, road life as a musician is less than glamourous. While there are enough opportunities to stay in swank or regular hotels at some of the more local gigs, it’s just not realistic for us to be flying with him all over the world, for all the obvious reasons — no matter how much we miss our family being together.

The truth of it is, he’s gone for 4-5 months (not all at once) out of the year, which isn’t a lot compared to what many successful musicians do, but it’s enough to be doing the part of a single parent thing for long(ish) stints of time. It’s not so much that I’m complaining (Which I do! It’s natural and fine for us mamas to vent, within reason, about whatever the heck we want to.), but more coming to terms with it all. Accepting our crazy life as it is, being grateful for the person my kids call Daddy. He wouldn’t be the awesome that he is without being an artist. Our lives, my kids’ lives, wouldn’t be steeped in art and music, creativity, and the freedom to adventure in the way that we do.

So how do I do all of the parenting double-duty on top of working full-time without feeling resentful? This is my Survival Guide…

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a Part-Time Single Parent's Survival Guide

Respect & Accept

The biggest thing that I must always strive to remember is that the mister? He's doing double-duty in a very different way. Touring as a musician isn't all limos, 5-star hotels and seductive excitement. It's gruelling, hard-ass work -- especially since he has a full-time job as a webmaster to keep up with on the road, on top of touring and performing. Studio recording and touring time is when our relationship and parenting skills are tested the most. It can be a grueling time wherein I can't expect regular contact and I can expect plans to change/get shuffled last-minute, including holidays and birthdays.


More Babbles From Selena…

Selena is a crafty, culinary mom. Creative Director. Social Media & Branding Consultant. Regular writer on Disney Baby. Part-time mischief maker, all the time geek. Proud of her Anishinaabe roots.

Elsewhere on the internets…

Via my humble beginnings, mastering in general mayhem: le petit rêve.

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About Selena Mae


Selena Mae

Selena Burgess is crafty, a culinary expert, and a professional wrangler of the toddler variety. When the chaos permits, she writes stories and is addicted to documenting everyday life. Selena is proud of her Anishinaabe roots, and is the type of woman you want to revel (or kvetch) in motherhood with. Read bio and latest posts → Read Selena's latest posts →

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