There's No Perfect Time, But There Is A Better TimeBeth Anne Ballance
I haz the baby feverz.
I swoon at baby showers and go into mini ovarian seizures in Baby Gap. I get all happy-weepy when I think about puking in a toilet for 15 weeks and I don’t know if my chest is big enough for my heart when I imagine my husband holding another fresh infant. Harrison is 2 1/2 years old and I always, always wanted my children 3 years apart, just like I was with my siblings. This means I needed to get pregnant a few months ago, but here I still sit with an empty uterus taking a daily birth control pill.
I mentioned on Twitter that I was having near-swoon experiences at the mere mention of a newborn, that sleep depravation didn’t scare me and that my pscyhiatrist and I came to the agreement that I should deliver between March and July to help ward off reoccuring PPD with the summer sunshine….but that the timing just wasn’t suitable for me to get pregnant again. One of my e-friends quipped that there’s “No perfect time!” and I know she is right – there will never be the perfect amount of money or sanity or energy for a second baby.
But there will be a BETTER time and that’s what we’re holding out for.
For starters, I’m a contract worker which means I enjoy my job, work on projects, then go my merry way without benefits. I’m hoping to become a permanent employee with my new gig and the last thing I need is to be “mommy tracked” by a pregnancy. So I absolutely need to wait until I get a full-time gig.
Then I need to wait 6 months to be sure that I qualify for the full FMLA by being there a full year. I say six months in case I deliver early – I want to be sure I get twelve weeks of maternity leave.
Then there’s the issue of the house. We are a solid hour to two hours each way for a commute and there is NO WAY I can make that commute with two children screaming in the backseat. So we need our old house to sell, then purchase a new house before bringing another tot into the world.
So it’s looking like all those obstacles + me trying to time delivery in the sunshine means it will probably be May 2013 at the earliest before we start trying for another baby. I’m a little bummed just because I was hoping to have my kiddos closer in age for relationship purposes (although a 4-5 year age difference will help immensely in the college years!). But I keep reminding myself that while life is short, it’s not so short that we need to make impulsive big decisions, like babies & jobs & houses.
So I’m hoping that this future “better time” makes me a better parent.
How long did you wait between babies? Pros and cons of that age difference? What made you wait?