This Is Not a Momfession: On Needing, Wanting (and Taking) Alone TimeSelena Mills
It’s something that we shouldn’t have to explain to the masses. And yet we do. Because we are judged. If not by society (yeah, right), then by our very own children and perhaps even partners. It’s not even something that I do once in a blue moon! This isn’t even a confession!
YOU GUYS. I take breaks from “parenting.” Mothering, if you will. I have a secret hideout and I USE IT. In fact, I own it. And, oh, it feels good.
What do I do when I have this alone time? I have luxuriantly long, hot baths. I light candles. I stay up late watching HGTV and the Food Network on cable TV that we don’t have at home, record nerdy amounts of voice memos with foodie inspo and article ideas, followed by Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake’s breakdown of the history of rap on late night TV (did you guys see that action last night? SO GOOD. Errr, I mean, not bad for a couple of white boys…).
I drink beer. I drink tea. I drink wine. I sit in fancy coffee shops and drink really good americanos. I write. I daydream. I have uninterrupted, adult conversation. I sleep in and wake up to write, answering to no one, with no feet in my face. Not one other person’s bum do I wipe or cut-up toddler meal do I make. I cook for me. I go soul dancing late at night where there may even be some top shelf involved. I sleep in just one more time before heading out for brunch and lazing about over a paper. And my journals. And yet even more writing.
All the things, basically — all the things that I have no shame in admitting that I miss and that I think I have every right (yes, even now as a parent) to “indulge” in every now and then. I feel like a cat stretching out in front of a window, in a pool of sun-drenched floor. Heck, taking some alone-time has me feeling so darn frisky that I even get to doing some work (on a weekend!).
Oh, I miss my kids. I even dream of them and think I can smell them in the morning when I wake, smothering my face in a billowy puff of pillow, breathing deep and being incredibly thankful for this time. Thinking of them and their usual sweet morning kisses, cuddles, chattering and book worming. That’s just how it is, as much as we want a break, we want to be with our kids, too.
Am I lucky to be able to do this? You bet. (And I know it.) Am I going to explain to you why I need alone time? Nope. I’m just sharing a little bit of what I do and I don’t wait all that long before doing it again either. I hope I am a part of a growing percent.
*Full Disclosure: I am going to cuddle the SNOT out of my kids tomorrow and come back refreshed. Alive. Almost new. This is good, yes?
**Edited to add: How could I forget about prepping and executing four-course meals, slowly, while listening to outrageously good playlists reminiscent of my yesteryears (something along the lines of The Cure/Billie Holiday) and not eating till 9 PM? I did that tonight — and it was grand.
More Babbles From Selena…
- Toddler Cries Watching Parents’ Wedding [Video]
- You Can Do It! 4 Steps To a Successful Toddler Screen-Time Diet
- 3 Ways My Kids Have Helped Me Unlock My Own Potential
- 7 Tips For a Weekend That Your Toddlers Will Never Forget!
- Are We Overindulging Our Kids?
- 10 Things I Hope To Teach My Kids About Being Happy
Selena is a crafty, culinary mom. Regular writer here and on Disney Baby. Part-time mischief maker, all-time geek. Elsewhere on the Internets… via her humble beginnings, mastering in general mayhem: le petit rêve