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This Week in the Toddler Times of Huckleberry Holbrook

Hi guys! It’s me, Huck “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” Holbrook! And I’m inviting YOU to join me on my new adventure! It’s called Huck Standard Time. That’s right, I’m starting my own time zone! I’ll tell you all about it after the jump.

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    Well, here's how it started. Me and my Mom were traveling on the west coast for almost the entire month of January. IT. WAS. RAD. So many fun people to see, and new beds to sleep in, and practically NO SCHEDULE! I could nap when and where and if I wanted! FREEDOM! Yeah, I liked it. When we came back to New York, Mom decided to let me stay on west coast time, since we were going back to California in a couple weeks. And so, I've sort of been hovering near Hawaii time for about three months, see.
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    Do you see this? This is something Mom doesn't see me do much anymore. Know why? Cause I'm not ready for bed till about MIDNIGHT most nights! It's so rad. By the time Mom is ready for bed, I'm finally ready too. So we all go to bed together. And when I go to bed at midnight I usually sleep in till ELEVEN! So Mom does too! I mean, she's not crazy! Sleep is sleep! (Thought it makes her feel real unproductive all day.)
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    And what happens when I sleep till almost noon? Well, that means I'm not ready for my nap until 7pm. Because early naps are for babies. I mean, I'm so much cooler than babies. Obviously. Look at me sitting in this book box! Do you think BABIES could sit in a book box like this? Dude NO!
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    Now, Mom doesn't let me have a nap at 7, I mean, that would be nuts! So I don't get a nap those days, and I start to get real grouchy around 8:30, so Mom puts me to bed around 9:00. The next day I'll wake up at 9 all ready to go! And she thinks, Hey! This is almost normal! So she lets me have my afternoon nap those days, which I want to take usually around 3.
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    But here's the thing, did you know I'm practically almost a teenager? Yup. Cause guess what: I can sleep ALL afternoon. No sweat! I'm so cool. Normally my afternoon naps go for three hours. So I wake up at six, and have dinner, and then, yeah, I'm not really tired until midnight. Cause you guys, I have major awake endurance. On these nights Mom tries to put me down at nine, and then again at ten, and then again at eleven, and each time I'm like, MOM. It's PLAY TIME. Finally at midnight when she's ready to go to bed, I'll start to rub my eyes and agree to be put down. (Should my Mom stop letting me nap all together until I'm back on a normal schedule? The only thing is, then Mom would have NO time to herself EVER. And you know, she can't sweep the house unless I'm asleep, my obsession with the broom is worse than a dog's.) (Mom doesn't want to let me cry it out in my crib just yet. She'll probably be willing to super soon though if I keep this up!). CALLING ALL BABIES: DOESN'T THIS SOUND FUN? DO YOU WANT TO JOIN ME?
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    Huck Standard Time! It's so rad you guys. So, noon to nine one day with no nap, and nine to midnight the next day with a nap. This is the schedule. Are you in? Basically it puts the babies in control, like, ALL THE TIME. I can't see how that's a bad thing?
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    Bonus: You get to be awake when all the other kids are napping, so the playgrounds are all quiet and you don't have to share swings!
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    See this? This swing is ALL MINE.
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    See this carousel? This carousel was COMPLETELY EMPTY except for me and Mom!
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    It also means that I get to spend lots more time with my Mom, cause I'm awake when she's awake! And you know what, you guys, my Mom is super cool. I really like her. Isn't she lucky to spend so much time with me? (She doesn't really need nights off, does she? Nahh!)
    Well, now you know how to get on Huck Standard Time, and I'm off to take my nap (it's nap day round here). See you in three hours, daylight!
    Love,
    Huck

 

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