Stay At Home vs. Working Parents
Questions to help spouses bridge the communication gap
My husband always asks how my day went. And he really wants to know. He’s nice like that. As we slowly push the girls around in the stroller, he shares what went right during his day at the office, and I share funny things the kids said. On bad days we vent stresses and offer support and advice.
But lately I can’t help wondering if when I mention that my day was sort of stressful, he mentally thinks, “Yeah, my days are like that too.” Because I really don’t think that our days have the same sort of stresses.
When you decide to become a stay-at-home parent, you enter into a different realm – one ruled by illogical two-year-old dictators, school schedules, and choosing the correct color yogurt. As much as I can explain this to my husband, I don’t know that I’m getting through. Now I’ve done the next best thing: creating a list of questions that will help him and other office-bound parents gauge how (cough, cough) similar their days are to ours.
- When you walked into work this morning and pleasantly greeted your co-worker Jim, was his first reaction to scream “NO! WANT JASON!” followed by an office supply being thrown at you?
- Has a colleague ever climbed up on your lap while you were using your computer and slammed the keyboard with both fists until the up arrow no longer worked?
- Do you have to lock yourself in the supply closet or bathroom on a regular basis in order to make phone calls?
- Did you finish a complete thought at any time during the day?
- When you went out to lunch with your fellow workers, did you have to pack a diaper/juice/extra outfit for them? Did you have to wipe their faces? Smile an apology and leave an extra tip for the waiter on their behalf?
- When a co-worker needed you for something, did she sit at her desk with her head tilted back toward the ceiling and repeatedly scream “SEAN! SEEEEANNNN! SEAAAAAAN!” until you came to find him?
- When you needed a specific colleague, did you search all over for him, only to finally find him giggling in the cabinet under the sink? Did you also find six pairs of your church shoes under there with him?
- Have you had to come to an associate’s aid because she fell off her desk after trying to climb on top of it using a rolling chair?
- When you reached for the report a co-worker was handing you, did he snatch them away at the last second and scream “MINE!” while shoving you backwards?
- Does your colleague lift up her shirt and pick things out of her belly button every time she comes over to ask a question?
- While you are using the restroom, do various co-workers come in the stall and ask you to settle a disagreement or open a packet of fruit snacks?
- During a board meeting when everyone is present, do you notice a smell and then have to check all your colleagues’ pants to locate it? In fact, at ANY point in your day do you have to deal with another person’s feces?
If the answer to most of these questions is no, it’s a safe bet to assume you’re in an office. That said, if your answer to most of these questions is yes, and you know you’re in an office, it’s safe to assume you might need a new job.
Believe it or not. I work full-time and I am a mom. I face less stress when I get home and take care of my kids than when I am working all day with a bunch of ignorant grown ups.
In the office, I have experienced questions
Question# 1 (instead of a co-worker yelling at me, he/she only ignors me or says something sarcastic. Later on, I will be wondering who threw that paper ball at me while I was on the phone with a customer.
Question# 5 ( We have to make sure we ask everybody if they want to come to lunch with us because if not they will throw a hissy fit next time we talk to them)
Question# 7 (When trying to find a department manager to solve a problem with a customer, you fail 90% of the time but when you are talking to a co-worker, that same manager makes sure he is in our business even if we are not talking to him).
Question# 10 (There is only two of us females in the sales office so after lunch, if a co-workers feel like passing gas, they will do it without minding everybody else in the office)
Question# 11 (Yes, I have had co-workers come to the bathroom door to ask me questions about a customer. Luckily for me, it is a one toilet bathroom so with the door locked, they cannot come in)
Question #12 We have two co-workers that smell. One is diabetic, so you can tell the smell is from the disease. The second one, apparently is scare of taking a shower. His BO is horrible and it lingers in my cubicle everytime he walks by. When I was pregnant, sometimes I thought I was going to throw up. Oh, he smells like that every day).
We also have a buyer that yells at us everyday because he is too old to keep up with the market and makes a lot of mistakes and we also have a warehouse supervisor that yells at the owner of the company everytime he wants so he tries to yell at everybody else (he learned very fast that he couldn’t pull that one off with me)
Soooo, yes, I believe your husband’s day could be more stressful since he cannot control his adult co-workers behavior either.
Cute! As a mom with a full-time job, I can say with confidence that my days in the office are infinitely easier than my days at home. Of course, it helps that I have a good job that I like.
Rosana–so funny! I’m also FT working mom and found this hilarious and on point. I didn’t see this piece as so much about who has it harder, (an unanswerable question if there ever was one) but about how it is so, so different, for better or worse. Or for better or feces, as the case may be.
I remember when I was home with my first baby, and my husband would come home at the end of the day and tell me about all kinds of people and events that made up his life away from the house. And then it was my turn, but you know it’s a bad sign when your day includes, “I got up” and “I made lunch.” How many times can you say, “Fed the baby, changed the baby, looked at the baby, wished I could get a shower.”
Rosana, Where in heaven’s name have you gotten the idea that diabetics smell? That’s just ignorant.
Thanks for the best laugh i’ve had all day.
So right on. Unless you have to go to work sick as a dog and change your co-worker’s diaper, it doesn’t compare. There is no break for a SAHM unless you are spoiled and stay home plus have a nanny. Sorry Rosana, but I would be having all kinds of fun hanging out with my kids for 3-4 hours a day. But it’s literally 24/7 for me, and I have to deal with every heartbreaking attitude, every “I hate you” from my darling that I love more than life itself, every frustrating battle over eating their formerly favorite food or wearing shoes when it’s winter and raining. The biggest difference is that my husband gets to leave work and come home, whereas when he comes home my day doesn’t end, it amps up for dinner and bedtime and nursing 2 wee ones, etc. And btw I have never met a stinky diabetic. Sorry for venting, but I have the stomach flu and still have to be mommy and take care of everyone, stinky poop and all (and I wouldn’t have it any other way, I am so proud to be Owen and Ellie’s SAHM).
Peaches, do a google search before you have the ignorance to call somebody ignorant.
excellent…and a little sad. Thank you!
‘In fact, at ANY point in your day do you have to deal with another person’s feces?’
Or boogers, I might add. I find that my days are quite often filled with bodily fluids of one kind or another
Oh, great, another SAHM here to tell us that she works harder than WOHM’s, and implying that the parents who have to work outside of the home don’t know anything about kids. This is a tired conversation. Amusing though. I did chuckle.
Yawn- She never said that SAHMs have it harder; she only said the stresses are different. No need to jump to conclusions.
I laughed so hard when reading this (from the safety of my desk at work) – just really very very funny.
I didn’t see this article as a SAHM vs. Working outside the home thing at all. I’m not sure why others did. The author was just elaborating on the talks she has with her husband. That being said..I think it’s pretty funny. My husband is military so some of the crud he has to deal with on a daily basis can be pretty stressful but he also realizes that my days are pretty hectic too (18 month old dictator in the house). There are days though that I would rather deal with petulant, smelly co-workers and office drama than listen to one more rendition of “itsy-bitsy spider’.
Great article! This one had me laughing pretty hard. I also did not see this as SAHM vs. WOHM, I just saw it as a hilarious way to compare the two jobs.
Yeah… the only thing is that I know if a parent who works outside of the home made a list of issues that that WOH parents every day, and which SAH parents don’t have to deal with, that person would certainly be accused of disrespecting SAHM’s. So… I guess in that way, this seems a tad disrespectful to the difficulties WOH parents face every day.
Sure, the author says “different kinds of stresses” to make sure she doesn’t come out and say, “my days are harder.” However, she kind of gives herself away referring to her statement that her day is stressful, and when her husband says that his was too, she seems to think that her day is just harder, and that this fact doesn’t “get through” to her husband.
I still think it was funny. Kids are funny. It’s a fact. They’re definitely a lot funnier than people that work in offices with you, I’d say. Maybe the title “Stay-At-Home vs. Working Parents” just gave it an adversarial flavor to me. Maybe I’m just imagining it. I had an initial reaction, and that’s just what it was.
Too funny. Prior to becoming a SAHM, I worked in call center management. I thought nothing could ever possibly be more stressful. Now I’m a lot happier, but I’m also a lot more tired! http://www.thegentlemom.com
LOL! I love these! And @The Gentle Mom, my husband is a call centers manager. If there is anyone’s stress who can compare with a SAHM then it’s his.
this is so funny to me b/c just this morning I was thinking where are the avacados, did one of my 4 children hide them some where, am I going to find them moldy in a closet or moldy in the car b/c I forgot them there?
I loved this! I just started staying home with my 6 month old and can totally relate. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but sometimes cleaning up after him all the time, plus our two grown dogs and litter of 4 puppies they just had can be tiresome. Some days I’m up to my elbows in poop!
Wow… finally some way to really compare jobs
Gotta show this to my hubby when he gets home from the office, lol.
Geez why so many snarky moms? Get a grip ladies. It’s supposed to be a humorous article.
The scary thing I noticed when I became a SAHM was there are a lot of similarities with managing a group of todays graduates. They all want to be the lead the day they start and can not understand why they do not get to be the project manager, after all they did a semester at uni on it.
forgot to put a username. don’t want y’all to think I’m hiding or anything
Those are hysterical! I’ll have to memorize them so I have something to throw out when people who work get all condenscending about how good I must have it at home.
Statements like “ruled by an illogical two year old” and (from the comments) “18 month old dictator in the house” confuse me. Parenthood or raising children is not a democracy. If you are the parent, BE the parent. Be the one in charge. I’ve done both — SAHM and worked outside the home. Both have pros and cons. Both involve mommy guilt (guilt if you work and are away from your child and guilt if you don’t work, because for some moms, working makes them a better mom and gives you a sense of self, and if you can’t work you might not be able to be the best mom you can be). What I hate the most? Is how we all judge each other, no matter what role we are currently in. SAHM’s don’t like being judged by working moms and vice-versa. We’ve all made the choice that is right for us and that should simply be good enough. I’m not a better/worse parent just because I stay at home/work. I don’t really find this a good way to compare jobs, because I honestly don’t think there is a real way to compare the two. Apples and oranges here.
HAHA! I love this. So true and so funny.
for all the working women bashing on stay at home moms, I’ve got a little insight for you. I’ve had my fair share of staying at home (for six years might I add) and NOW I’m currently a working mom(for two years). It’s like this : Sahm’s CANNOT clock out…ALWAYS on duty.2. Primarily use baby slang…rarely a mature conversation with mature topic throughout the day. 3.cant just up and leave during lunch break…gotta ensure everyone is fed. 4.work at home in primarily work in pj’s no need to “dress up” to change diapers. 5. The feeling of “never getting ahead” of yourself is rare. NOW since I’ve been working, I can’t freely express my ideas and manage my OWN time in a manor that suite ME. SAHM mothers manage their time in a way that suites their child. Plus if your not hubby is only working, most of the time BUDGET is tighter..which all in all SAHM put alot of their”wants” on the backburner to ensure their children get all their “want” on top of their NEEDS. Yes, I LOVE being a career woman, on my way up the ladder. But I was Blessed to be a SAHM mom, and I UNDERSTAND what that entitles for a women. Granted I equally respect the working mother, it is like this article stats, is JUST DIFFERENT. GOD BLESS all you beautiful SAHM and WOH !!!!!!
I CAN manage my own time…lol, on my phone peps!!
Truthfully, a lot of these like a kid throwing things or slamming my keyboard wouldn’t happen in my house. My kids know better, they know they would get their but smacks and be in time out if they ever treated me with that disrespect.
house!)
@ Done Both: Since you quoted my comment, I feel a need to respond.
I AM the parent. i AM the one in charge. Period. My use of the term ‘dictator’ was firmly tongue in cheek…most people who have (or had) toddlers understand the general behaviour of children at that developmental stage and totally get how characterizing them as ‘dictators’ would be amusing. My statement was not meant to be taken literally as you seem to have done.
Loved this!! Made for a great laugh….and someone else nailed it…snarky moms!
HAHAHAHA i love it – but you should add something about using the restroom with the door open for all to see if you close it then all will scream..
Or the fact you look like crap because its non stop from the moment they wake up that you have no time to dress in nice short skirts or even apply make up …
Great …love it..
http://hipchicandtot.com
I hope this is meant to be a joke
LOVE it!! Sucks that so many people didn’t get the joke of it! BUT, you are hilarious!
Juniper, I didn’t see anyone bashing SAHM’s here. Just looked again. Nope, didn’t see it.
I am a stay at home mom of 3 (just 5, just 3, and just 111)…my number one key, on my key board, only works if I really hit it hard a couple of times (which sometimes then causes multiple ones/exclamations). I have often said some day I would like to complete a thought…Wow what a concept (in fact in the middle of writing this I was interupted and it took me five minutes to figure out what I was going to say). I also have said that for what I do in a day on maybe 3 consecutive hours of sleep the world should be scared of what I could do with 5 or dare I say 8 hours of sleep.
I just loved this…and it couldn’t have come at a better time… I was really feeling down on my choice to stay at home. Thank you!
That is brilliant..i have a 2 year old dictator!!! I didnt see this as a SAHM vs WAHM…I saw this more as a SAHM vs working Dad! Everyone knows a WAHM does both and not everything is a war…
Or maybe you guys could be better parents and not let your children run all over you.
There’s no reason why a 2 year old should “run” a house. You’re the adult, make some rules and stick to them. No matter how much they pout or scream. You’ll have less issues later.
I’ve seen first hand how kids like that act in elementary school. Their behavior doesn’t change much by the time they get to me in HS.
So be like a teacher and formulate a plan that consists of rules, rewards, and punishments… then STICK to it!!
This was absolutely hilarious!!
OH! and maybe some of you should realize it is 2011. Using the excuse that your husband won’t help is just ridiculous. Why shouldn’t he help? That’s half his responsibility. Just because he is working doesn’t mean he shouldn’t contribute to half the duties that comes with running a household. To say otherwise is archaic!
I like this article because I’m a SAHM and have working mom family members who think I have all this time to relax and that I have it so easy. I love being home with my kids and wouldn’t change it for the world, but I really wish working moms and many men/dads would get it that it’s not just playtime and soap operas. This has been the most stressful and difficult ‘job’ I’ve ever had, and I’ve had more than a few in my 15 years in the workforce before kids. It is also the most rewarding. But, just once, I’d love to be able to pee alone.
Oh wow. This is fantastic! I’ll be using the bathroom tip to finish phone calls. Seriously… you have no idea how much hope it gives me that I may be able to make a 10 min phone call uninterrupted.
Ok if I may..I’d like to ask these stay at home moms a few questions.
1. Do you get up between 4-5 am so you can get “all dressed up” before you have to drag your children out of bed and dress them to go to the sitter?
2. Do you listen to your child cry “mommy im so tired, I don’t want to get up” as you try to rush them to get up and moving this early in the morning.
3. Do you spend your day wondering what your child is doing, calling to check on your child, and hoping everything is ok (becausine working moms don’t go to the office and forget their children for the day).
4. At the end of your “work shift” do you rush out the door so you have time to stop at the store and pick up snacks for the tee ball team, then rush to pick up your child, then rush home to feed and dress your child in order to get to the game by 5:30? Oh wait…looks like working moms and dads don’t “clock out” either!
5. Do you go home put the kids to bed so you can prepare your house and clothes and lunches etc…just so the next morning will be manageable?
6. Do you have someone to whom you answer for everything you accomplished EVERY day or do you have to opportunity to do the laundry tomorrow if you don’t have time or feel well?
7. Do you have to fit all your daily household chores into the few hours that you are home and on the weekend or do you enjoy that weekend break with your family while your hard working dad has some time off…working moms work 24/7 as well.
And of course I am not “bashing” SAHMs just “pointing out the differences”
Rosana, you seriously need to find yourself another job!
ghhg
This is awesome!
Lizette, as a stay-at-home mom, I actually loved your post. I’m so tired of stay-at-home vs. working moms or parents. You can’t compare jobs. They are both easy in their own way and they’re both hard in their own way. Why does it have to be a battle between who has the harder “job”? I don’t really care if people understand what I do all day. The fact remains that I CHOOSE to stay home and do as good of a job as I can. Because quite frankly, I don’t get my husband’s job. I don’t get what he does all day. And I will never know what he does all day unless I step into his shoes (which I don’t want to!). Why can’t we just make our choices and be confident we made the right one for ourselves and our families without having to belittle the “other side”?
Interesting discussion about the concept of a 2yo dictator ruling the house. With my first child, his toddler years were challenging at times but really not bad. With my second child, also a boy, the toddler years are a completely different story. I am probably the most strict mom that a lot of people know, yet I find myself humbled on a daily basis by this little guy. He can be so determined to cause mayhem, and lots of times I just can’t keep up with him. I need to use the bathroom, handle raw chicken, make a phone call, throw in a load of laundry. Meanwhile, he may be elsewhere in the house doing heaven-knows-what with whatever he has managed to reach (a determined 2yo can reach almost anything). Yesterday I gave him a swat on the bottom & time-out 3-4 times, plus several other time-outs, trying to get through to him that we don’t write on tables/walls/etc. But really, how many bottom swats can I do in a day? Meanwhile, my older child is constantly — it seems — wanting to do craft projects or ask a million questions about things. After a while I feel I can’t put him off all the time, but while I’m helping him with X, Y, or Z, little brother is off somewhere causing mayhem. Gotta run now.
This is a great article. It’s very sad that you all are taking a humorous article and are thud ing it into a mean debate. All this author is trying to say is….Yes, you work everyday, but so do we. It’s not as easy as some think. I’m a SAHM and have friends who work. I’m always on the clock but so are they, after they get home from rush hour, they have to be a parent. Let’s all agree that being a mommy or daddy is a 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year job that we don’t get paid for. Our payment is seeing our child grow up to be a good person. Some working moms like to work, it’s a break from the craziness at home. Some SAHM loge staying AF home, they don’t have to deal with the non-sense of “real” life. I, personally, would rated talk to a 15 month old than an adult any day. I disagree with this article, and maybe I’m slightly pre-mature or have a very gOod little boy, but staying at home is the easiest, most rewarding job I could have ever asked for. Go hug your kids instead of fighting over who has it harder. A hard life is a life with no babies.
Sorry for the mis-spellings, on a cell phone…..
But it’s articles like these that make the debate, Blueyes418. Seriously. Who cares if WOH parents don’t get what stay-at-home parents do. Yes, it was trying to be funny, but after lots of discussions with stay-at-home moms who seriously say things like “My job is so much harder than my husbands” or “Why do working moms think that they can even compare what they do to a stay-at-home mom” it seems that the stay-at-home crowd thinks they deserve a pat on the back. When you write an article like this one, it’s pitting working parents vs. stay-at-home parents, even if you can’t see that. I agree that all parents have it hard- working or not. But let’s just focus on our jobs instead of ‘making’ the other side see what we do.
OMG, thank you Lizette. As a WOHM (who didn’t have the “choice to SAH” unless I wanted to be tortured by my husband who absolutely would not stand for it) I am soooo tired of being told that I “get to clock out.” As though when I leave my job, I’m finished working. Because I was working outside of the home all day, does that mean that the work I put in caring for my family after I get home is less work than the work a SAHM does during those same hours? And you won’t ever hear me say that WOH is the best thing ever, I wouldn’t change it for anything, etc. like you hear from SAHMs. It’s a struggle and a race against time every day. It’s hard. I miss my family all the time. When I was hoisted back into WOH after maternity leave, I felt like I was drowning. It’s easier once you achieve balance, but wow. Still so hard.
And yes, even though I desperately want to SAH, I am sure that if I was afforded that opportunity I would get tired of children’s music and children’s toys and not peeing alone, and all of that. But I would love it so much more than going to work, and wouldn’t miss all of the crap I have to deal with WOH.
I also have another question to add to your list, Lizette: Does your “boss” take a nap for several hours on most days so that you can just be left the he%& alone? Lol!!! Mine sure doesn’t! Except on my “days off” when I’m home, of course.
And I, of course, spend that time frantically doing the household chores I didn’t have a moment to do all week long. Ugh. Yeah, just “pointing out the differences.”
HILARIOUS!!! And very spot on! It is a different world and the author does a wonderful job explaining why these experiences are indeed stressful to the body. I love how she is taking her husbands day to explain the comparison, brilliant. Judging by your tone, I suspect you will find the negative comments amusing, atleast I hope you do. All they show is the sad nature of some people’s self-worth. No one should feel threatened by this piece if you do, you need to spend sometime working on yourself. Negative comments only show your guilt over your choices and perhaps some jealousy. LOVED IT!! (been all 3, SAH, WOH,and now WAHM)
…continued.. just wanted to note this piece is not about moms who punch a clock vs moms who do not..its about one parent(could be the mom or dad) who is home with the kids fulltime…as compared to the other who is at work. (hence the title) But I get, sometimes people like to use the internet to vent.
This is very funny and so true. It saddens me again, however, that these kinds of humorous takes on the difference between “office working” and “home working” turns into a battle between SAHMs and WOHMs. The truth is, we’re the same. It’s the difference between choosing to be a librarian as opposed to a dance instructor as opposed to a mason or a stockbroker. Their days couldn’t be more different either, I would imagine, yet you don’t hear them haranging each other over which is better. Why do we put all this emphasis on how we choose to provide for our families. Having kids is creating a job. You can do it yourself or you can hire someone to do it for you. When I decided to SAHM I crunched the numbers and after I paid a nanny (I couldn’t get an infant spot in the daycare at my work, despite all sorts of gyrations and hysteria it became clear to me that a nanny was really my only viable option given my particular work situation, commute, timing, etc) and paid for my commute and related work expenses (clothing and such) I would be working to make about 10K a year. So for me it wasn’t really a financial necessity. We could bridge the gap of 10K for at least a couple of years if we reduced some expenses, etc. So that’s what we did. It wasn’t a philosophical choice. Nor was it really a financial choice. It was the choice that made the most common sense to me at the time given my particular job and inclination. Some people make WAY more money than I did (and FWIW, my career is not a high paying one by any stretch of the imagination, but I was in a senior administrative position and felt I got paid reasonably well according in my field) and for them the loss of income will be greater. Many have family nearby who can take on some of the childcare and reduce expenses (I don’t.) My point is, whatever your situation is, you are doing what makes the most sense to you and your family. Why are we bashing each other. There are a gazillion ways to make this work, none of them easy. So everyone. Please relax. Let the SAHMs talk about their lives, both good and bad. And WOHMs can do the same. That’s no easy gig either, but you have lots of upsides and downsides the SAHMs don’t. Anyway, take it easy, everyone. There are no “right” answers here.
Oops. I just read that over and it’s full of typos. I’m rushing out and only have a minute. Sorry…
Yes as a sahm we may be working of few hours of sleep aswell and wake up at the crack of dawn often aswell. I don’t sit and watch tv (in fact I watch none at all) and eat bon bons all day( as some would think). I think this was a funny article. I don’t think the two were being compared and some stated it best… They can’t be ! For the working moms with their own questions…. You can never as a
question to understand someone elses fun filled or stressful day. Being in that persons shoes is the only way. The SAHM with one child is different from the one with multiple .. The working mom that’s head nurse in the ER is different from the working mom that teaches yoga… Each of those are on different ends of the spectrum. Let’s just agree that we don’t “get” each others day. I know my pros and cons and you know yours. End of story.
I KNOW!!!
Sorry for some typos. Replying from iPhone.
Geez, staying home is not that hard, been there done that. It does get boring and tedious but when the kids nap/rest you get some down time (at least I did) to catch up on house chores or rest. Working full time now I have to cram all shopping, cleaning etc into weekend hours. Now THAT is exhausting following a full week of work. I’ll tell you who has it made, it’s the working dads (or moms) with full time working spouses!
Oops, I meant it’s the working spouses with stay at home spouses
Here is the problem, my comment was in no way, debatable. I was not comparing one or the other, saying yours is better then mine, vice versa. I was simply stating that they AREN’T comparable. They both are hard, yet you, Anonymous, took it that way. People often “lessen” what SAHM’s do, not completely knowing what your doing on a daily basis. Particularly, husbands, hence the entire concept of this article. My husband works hard. I could never do his job. But he sits in front of a computer everyday. Does that mean that, because he’s not out doing manual labor, he isn’t working his butt off 10-12 hours a day? So just because I, as a SAHM, don’t have to wake up at 5am, drive in rush hour, punch a clock, and take orders from an arrogant boss all day, doesn’t mean my job is any easier than anyone elses. It’s easy to “compare” jobs, until you have to do that job. As I initially stated, being a parent, be it at work or at home (because let’s be real, even at work, your still worrying about your lo’s), is the hardest yet most rewarding jobs in the world. Of course the WOH mom’s think they have it harder, and the SAH mom’s think they do more, but really, unless are a kid without a care in the world, we all have it hard. Be greatful that you have to ability to stay at home or be greatful that you have a job in this horrible economy. Be greatful that you have a beautiful lo to write about in the first place!
Seriously so funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Funny!! You forgot the question about your coworkers wiping their noses on your shirt and putting oatmeal in their hair so that it sticks straight up.
I am a teacher, so I get to do both: work in an “office” and stay at home in the summer. Both are difficult in different ways. Being a parent is hard. Period.
I’m not sure what’s funnier – the article or the comments. It’s so predictable and tired, this battle between who has it worse. FWIW, I’ve stayed at home and worked out of the home and I would rather work. It means I have to be a lot more organized, but I’m much happier and more sane having an outlet. Which in turn, makes for happier kids in my house.
Ms. Rigby, I very much enjoyed your article. Thanks.
@Theresa: Using “down time” for household chores just plain rots. The problem with staying at home with (multiple) children is that there is no down time for you. I can’t tell you how many days I’ve gone without showers or breakfast. Even a few minutes of solitude seems like an incredible luxury.
love it laughed so hard i cried
**Yawn**
hehe this made me smile thanks…We just had our second baby a month ago and our first born is 15 months old so staying at home with 2 little ones is quite an adventure! I think SAHMs and working moms both have it hard, just in different ways. I love staying home but plan to work at least part time in the future, once the kids are a little older. Best of both worlds that way
Props to all the moms out there whether working or Stay at home.
The thing is, I don’t generally see SAHMs being “lessened.” What I do see is SAHMs claiming that they are “lessened,” and then shouting from the rooftops that they work harder than anyone else. Let’s just say we all work hard, and that neither side should be standing around with a big fat scoresheet about who works harder. When one side sees the other holding up that scoresheet, that’s when the scoresheet comparison, and the resulting war, begins.
I really can’t blame the retaliatory scoresheet holders. Maybe I should, but what are you to do when someone holds theirs up to you with an air of, “Ha! Look at my scoresheet! You don’t GET it!” Defensiveness ensues.
At the end of this article, I was crying – with laughter and sadness. I’ve been a SAHM for 8yrs now with little ones and it’s about to end (my youngest starts K in about 2 months). I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting these past few days on these last few years; the poop, the crying, the snot, the giggles, the spills, the disciplining, the praising for little accomplishments, the laundry, the constant picking up, the cuddles, and all the freely-given hugs, kisses, and “I love you, Mommy!”‘s a mom could want or need. Not that it’s going to come to an end, but it will slow now that they will be in school. I will continue to be a SAHM and volunteer my tush off at the school, Girl Scouts, church and actually try to get a little caught up on all the projects I’ve wanted to do in 8yrs. But, after reading the comments posted, I feel that an invisible line has been drawn which was never intended. I NEVER saw this article as a WOHM vs. SAHM – never – furthest thing from my thoughts. It was simply a description between her husbands job and her SAHM experiences, I can totally relate. My husband is wonderful at helping around the house, caregiving, etc. and has NEVER complained about the constant little messes here or there since he knows how (mentally) hard it is to be a SAHM parent – he’s had a couple of 2 day in a row practice runs which was enough for him to experience. This article was never meant to put-down or make any working mom feel less appreciated or that they didn’t work hard also. It was simply to lift the “domestic goddesses” during a moment when we feel most vulnerable. Before being a SAHM, I worked a job that was 70-85hrs a week – loved it! Being a SAHM is by far much harder on me that that was (and longer hours), but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Thank you for writing this article and allowing me to reflect on my last 8yrs and appreciating all that I’ve done full time with my kids to get to this point. Hubby will get a kick out if this!
Seriously people!!!! This is funny! Lighten up!
This is hilarious – the sad thing is, I work in an occasionally silly work environment, so I could actually answer “yes” to some of the above!
That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I laughed my ass off! And it’s true! I am sending this to my husband immediately if not sooner
Wow, I so needed that laugh! That is a very interesting way to put it!!!
Oh my goodness. I could hardly read this because of the tears of laughter in my eyes. . .
Love it. LMAO.
I could totally relate to everything that is being said in this article and thought it was very funny. But funny thing is I’m a WOHM. I’ve experienced all of those things at home with my child. I don’t believe it highlights the differences between SAHM and WOHM at all. I personnaly enjoy being a WOHM, I find the most pride in being the best mom I can be to my son but I also find some pride in working hard outside our home and my successes at work. I always define myself as a full time working mom. I’m always a mom wherever I am and my child is my priority but I just happen to earn a living outside.
As a SINGLE working mom, I often feel this argument is silly. I would LOVE to see my kids more often and have bouts of extreme guilt, alas there is no choice in the matter. I think it’s safe to say the grass is always greener on the other side– but stay out of the argument if you don’t have experience on both ends. Not only that, but as someone else mentioned, this isn’t even a valid argument.
This was too funny. Made me smile. I found that I could answer yes to all the above questions daily but I’m not a stay at home home. Apparently my 2 1/2 year old is on his best behavior at school and saves this all for me.
Try to work full time and take care of the kids. I have a demanding full time job, get very little sleep with my second only being 4 months old. I get kids up and going, fed, etc in the am, come home and have no down time and become mommy until they go to bed, then i become the maid and finacial planner, etc.
First of all, hilarious. Been there, done that. What surprised me about this article, however, were the number of people who commented and shockingly have perfect children. I’ve never met kids who would NEVER EVER do any of the things on your list but apparently all the parents of perfect kids read your blog
Oh, except for me. My kids aren’t perfect. I mean, when I take them places, they are well-behaved and people say, “Are they always that good?” and I say, “Generally.” But ummm, somedays, they aren’t perfect. But I’ll keep them. They make me laugh and enjoy life and I wouldn’t trade them. Not for any of those “perfect” kids.
all those articles wanting to make SAHM feel better are really annoying…if you feel bad about being home then get a job! If you are confident in your decision you should not need all those blogs to make you feel better! And if SAHMs are all so busy please tell me how they find the time to blog all the time!?!? Good moms are good moms, whether we have a job outside the home or not! it always feels like those articles are meant to lift up SAHMs spirit but I’ve never ever read a single article putting down their work…so why are those all SSSOOOO darn necessary???
to all of you saying that this article is not meant to put SAHM against WOHM, read the title! lol Being a parent, a mom, is a hard enough job that we don’t need those articles to make any of us feel bad. A good parent does the best he/she can and makes the best decisions for their family but in the end, we all change poopy diapers, we all bathe our kids, we all get temper tantrums and we’re all tired at the end of the day.
End of story!
I thought this was hilarious! Maybe even especially as a WOHM mom. But wow, are a lot of the commenters bringing their own baggage here. Maybe it’s the not-really-appropriate title of the article?
this article was about spousal roles not about one mom vs the next…
I have not ready the comments yet so sorry if someone already posted something similar…
I am a working mom of four – yep work in an office. I have my own set of questions back at ya
When you start your day, do you have to peel a crying child off your leg who is begging you to stay home/attend an event at school/hug them for just a little bit longer? But you have walk away and wipe the tears off your face before walking into work?
Have you ever had someone take credit for your work?
Have you ever had someone stop by your desk 5min before you were going to leave to assign an urgent task that needs to be done right now?
Have you ever had the call from school that your child is sick and then stress about how you are going to leave work to get them?
When I do go in the restroom to do my business I do have coworkers follow in and keep work conversations going.
Have you ever had to worry about your water breaking while giving a presentation to a bunch of men?
Have you ever had to log into work on your lap top at 10pm to finish what you couldn’t finish all day because you had to sit in mindless boring meetings?
Do you freak out on the days when you arrive at the office to see extra security and empty boxes in the lobby? Knowing what’s about to happen? Ever had your ex boss, who sits in the cube next to you, find out he it was time to pack up his cube and be walked out the door?
Ever have to come home an exhausting day at work to be asked “What’s for dinner?”
Ever hear “Sorry, we’re not giving any raises this year” or “Bonus, are you kidding?”
Did you have to be at work on the day before you went into labor, sitting in an uncortable office chair with a sore back, throbbing ‘roids, swollen feet, needing a nap, and sweating like a hog because the company raised the thermostat as one of their “cost reduction ideas” even though it’s June in Texas.
Do you have plan out your days off in excel to figure out how you can make every field trip, holiday, squeeze in vacations, all to have it messed up you or the kids are sick and you burn up a bunch of your days off?
Did you have to find a private place at work to pump?
Have you ever been passed over for a promotion because you aren’t as committed as the working man with the wife who stay home allowing him to sell his soul to the job?
I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point…
There’s a reason mother’s quit their jobs to become SAHM’s – BECAUSE IT’S EASIER. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s not – but it’s easier. Do you have a boss breathing down your neck when you need to get out of the office to pick up your kid from daycare? Do you have angry customers when you have to stay home with your sick child? Do you have to get up at 4:30 a.m. every morning? Do you face a hellish commute after working a 10 hour day and them come home and do homework, make dinner and get your kids ready for bed? I’m gonna go with no.
If you experience all of those things and go to work everyday, you might be a working mom. I just find the assumptions that a spouse should be expected not to understand and that this is a women vs. men conversation are just exasperating and pathetic. Another blogger perpetuating the SAH vs. WOHM wars and marriage inequalities.
y’all need to lighten up. this wasn’t pitting WOHM vs. SAHM. It was supposed to funny and is absolutely hysterical. Being a mother is hard whether you sahm or wohm. we would all be a lot better off if women stopped trying to tear each other down and play some kind of warped “my life is harder than your life” game and supported each other
This is a riot! I work in an office full-time but find lots of humor in many of these questions — particulary the one related to having a little person barge in on your bathroom time.
@SarahJ-no down time for this working mom either. My down time is drinving or picking my2 & 3 year old up, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, doing all that SAHM do plus work. My free time is errands or going to the bathroom IF I get to do that alone. I work through lunch, often don’t take bathroom breaks and only get to shower every other day because I don’t have the time. Where are WM getting more down time than SAHM? SAHM have something WM don’t…freedom to go places and participate in fun things that I feel like I have to squeeze in on weekends. I wish I were so lucky, because to have the choice to stay home with my kids I would in a hot second.
LOL!!!!! The comments here are more hilarious then the article! This is about one parent comparing stresses to the other parent…not a debate on whether you are more rightous in what you do during your day, or whether you are jealous of someone elses choices, or whether you feel guilty of your choices and are lashing out. Silly people.
@ working mom—her husband doesn’t do those things either, and that is who she is writing this in response to( spouse vs spouse)If you don’t like doing those things then don’t do them. Eitherway, she’s not talking to you or comparing working moms to sahm’s..its about spouse working vs not, and its funny. This could easily be a dad being home. People have to do what makes the most sense for their family…and if what you are doing isn’t working for ya because its too hard then you should change that.Maybe you feel guilty, or you are jealous. Should probably do some evaluating there. Overall…everyone should be doing what makes the most logical sense.
Soo funny!!! Glad i don’t stay home, I know i have it good. Atleast I get a lunch hour every day, and can be around people I enjoy (not that I don’t enjoy my kids) But I admit I am not patient enough to be home with them, its selfish on one hand, but also for their best interest. My husband stayed home with them until they went to school fulltime (he is a contractor, so it worked out with some help from mum and dad) Hats off to you moms who are so willing to do what you need to do! Whatever it is
Wow, susan you really need some attention…you have described most sahm’s lives. Interesting. Go hug yourself, or better yet your kids
Very funny piece and so true!! I am very grateful for my life, even though its very challenging and I can say I work harder now than I have ever in my life…my boss is waaaaaay more demanding and I do not get any sick time, and I do log longer hours, the pay sucks, but the rewards of knowing as a family we are doing what is best for us, and shaping our child into the best he can be is all worth it. It is healthy though to step back and marvel at a job well done, and to acknowledge all the sacriffces. We may not have the fanciest of things, or even many things, but things are things. Wouldn’t change any of it!! Thank you Heather for giving me a good laugh, and a gentile reminder to any spouse (man or woman) who may need to be reminded.
My mom was a working mom with 7 kids, and I can definitely say: She had a rough job!! We were all over her once she got home and she never really got a break. But now that I’m a stay-at-home mom, I’ve also got to say that it’s a rough job too. When the baby cries in the middle of the night, my husband has made the mistake of saying “You should get up with him, since I need my rest for work”. Well, HELLO, I need my rest too…I mean, living breathing children rely on me day in and day out for their safety and well-being. So enough with all the arguments of SAHM vs WM…both are tough jobs that deserve alot of respect.
Hilarious! And this doesn’t just apply to SAHMs. I work full time and I can answer yes to everyone of those, just from the post-work hours with my daughter. Although, for me those things are pleasant respite from the office stresses, as I am sure a few hours spent at an office with adults would supply some relief from the constant SAHM stresses.
Hey SAHM working mom, believe me i know it’s hard. but here are some things to think about from a FTWM (that’s full time working mom).
- when’s the last time you had to dodge objects being thrown at you while simultaneously dragging your kid out the door to daycare in time to catch your train? Thats if you can even find his shoes!
- when your child has a tantrum over the wrong colored yogurt, are you more worried about calming them down, or dirtying the only clean suit you have in the closet (your dry cleaning has been sitting at the cleaners for 6 weeks now) and figuring out what to wear for that important client meeting if it gets that pretty pink yogurt on it?
- when your little one is slamming on your keyboard, is he simultaneously erasing or encrypting beyond repair a proposal that youve been working on until midnight every night the past two weeks (after dinner, bath and bedtime) that is due the next day?
- Whens the last time that incomplete thoughts were only part of the problem – particularly if you were up 5 times during the night because of teething and still had to get your overtired, exhausted kids to daycare on time, and your butt to the office
- Whens the last time you had to forego peeing and eating in order to leave the office to get home to pickup your kids?
- Whens the last time you had a random smell on you and had to go 9 hours before you could change out of the poop, puke or snot and had to scrub madly on it in the bathroom with white paper hand towels that left white shredded traces in their wake?
haha. hadn’t read the other comments when I made mine. I definitely don’t take offense to this as a working mom. Its just a testament to moms in general and the stuff they put up with. I think all of that would probably start to grate on you if you had to do it 24/7 without a break, no matter who you are SAHM or WM. Just as WM’s get worn out by whatever we are dealing with (be it mommy guilt, work stresses or whatever). People need to recognize that you can either complain about your life or set about to change it. I myself have been in a full time high stress job for over 6years. I had my daughter 2 years ago and am pregnant with my second. I knew before I had my daughter that I wanted to take a step back from work, but after having my daughter it became priority number one. So I have worked hard over the past two years to get people on board at my work to allow me to keep a more flexible schedule, so I get no less than 4 waking hours a day with my kid (even if I have to be up super late to finish work). And in a few months, all of my careful planning and saving over the past couple years will pay off as I transition into a less demanding more flexible job (with less pay). I am not saying everyone can just bat an eye and change their life, but if you are unhappy don’t take it out on the happy. Channel that energy to something productive –getting a part time job if you want a break from SAHMing, or finding a more flexible job if you want more time with your kids (and planning a tighter budget to allow for less pay). You can do it!
Love it! You hit the nail on the head!
Have you ever had to work long hours and leave your kid with someone else day after day while feeling like your heart would break because you missed the kid so much but had no other option at the time?
This is not a WAHM vs SAHM debate..its a spousal one. Heck, its not even a debate she was just putting these experience in context, if her husband had to deal with these types of stresses. So like the author writes..if you office or job is like this..get a new job!! the other problem people are creating is they are trying to justify themselves. You can vent all you want, everyone knows their own story. I personally loved it! Very funny, a great way to look at things. I think no matter what you do, be grateful, this author ovbiously is, because this is funny and not a bunch of bitching. So stop being jealous-unless you want to not have real friends and want to age yourself.
Oh my the jealousy in the comments here is unbelievable!!!!!!! This is not a working vs being home with your kids debate. Except between the 2 parents. BOTH parents working is a different article DUH!!!!!! Definetly things to think about when planning a family. But based on the crap people are writing here I would say, it makes the most sense to have one person be home most of the time for balance and less created stress. Its one thing to wind up in a situation where you both have to work, its another to knowingly decide to make it difficult on your kids, friends, neighbors and each other just to both have extra money. I personally will not chose to keep on at my job if I can’t spend anytime with my family,because what is the point of that? If balance became an issue, I would either work from home, or have my husband do so. Whatever we thought made the most logistical sense, since we happen to both be happy at our jobs. IF any of this happened at work, I would quit…now I will go hug my mom for watching my kids everyday
I hate that some working moms have made negative comments because I thought this was very funny and I work full time. Working is probably just as stressful but in a different way. You can usually influence someone at work and anticipate reactions and you certainly can’t influence a 2 year old or anticipate their reactions. The funniest part is that my working mom friends and I have these same conversations about our husbands!
Problem comes when you have the stresses of work and then you work the “swing” shift at home and get these stresses too!
You all need to STFU you ignorant working moms & SAHM, gees who the F**K cares… It was just a silly article GET OVER YOURSELF!
I posted earlier today and I’m just checking in to see what’s happened and what is so interesting here is not the defensiveness (and there’s lots of that anytime this comes up, not just here) and the accusations, but how much we really, as mothers, WANT to have an outlet for this conversation. I think whichever way you’ve set up your family and your life, we all compulsively need to constantly question what we’re doing and why and rather than seeing this as a negative, I think it would be nice to look at it in a postive light. Either way, you give up a lot. There is no good solution. You’re going to give up a career and independence (both personal and financial) or you’re going to give up time with your kids. No one wants to do either, but we can’t be cloned. And our society says that we’re useless, lazy and privileged if we don’t work and we’re terrible parents if we do and we’re not there for that first step, word, cartwheel, school concert, art class helper day, etc, etc, etc. I think in some ways it gets worse as the kids get older. Schools are stressing parental involvement and face time in schools more than ever. But your job requires accounablity and presence as well, teacher in-service day or not. We can’t win. It’s no wonder we ALL keep going around and around with it.
Why does everything have to be a debate. This was meant to be a funny article not the start of a heated debate. Just get over it and laugh a little, it might make everyones day a little bit better. Since it seems tht most of the people on here hate what they do all day anyways.
This is a debate that will go on forever. Let’s respect each others decisions and move on. Children are a gift no matter how we as Mothers raise them. Remember that it isn’t a competition. We all have sacrifices, whether we are working or staying at home with our children.
@ Mom of 2..I think you make an excellent point! I personally do not have an issues with how we live our life nor do I question it now. But I of course did before I was ever pregnant, and even while I was because things changed. I truly believe if you are happy within yourself, and secure you don’t have to feel jealous or angry. I have no issue with whether someone works or doesn’t outside the home or in it or parttime as long as they and their family are happy, and they are not raising evil little children (since we would have to deal with that) Its very individual..but like a lot of people have said, this is not an article about that debate. It is a very good way to few this type of stress and you can be grateful for both having it and not having it. I know the only thing that matters is our health (for my family) as long as we are as low on stress,and have time to be together, this is what matters.You can’t be stress free if you don’t get enough sleep or just go all day, so I won’t take on that lifestyle because I have had it, and it cost me too much. My husband and I divide the work load, and he knows I spend most of the time with our son (who has special needs) and my job IS harder and more important even than his, because without it, his won’t happen. I can sleep an extra hour, however I am up later to make sure our son gets to sleep, that is a stressful job but I have to do it because he has to be out of here before 6am. But I would rather do what I do. No matter, what we do, we should feel grateful for it!
‘There’s a reason mother’s quit their jobs to become SAHM’s – BECAUSE IT’S EASIER.’ …Ummm, No. It’s different but it isn’t easier. Done both and staying at home is NO EASIER. I repeat…IT IS NOT EASIER. But because of people like you that THINK it’s easier that this article had to be written.
And to Lizette….honey…I’m just sad that you feel that way about motherhood. You’ve put yourself in an awful position where you aren’t able to enjoy your children and the time with them. You need to find your priorities. My husband and I live off of a single income….and it’s not huge. We do with less. We’ve lived with one car and without cable and cell phones. Without fancy cars or giant houses. Without big screen tvs and name brand clothes. Without big vacations and fancy dinners out. Without credit cards and debt hanging over us. Why? Because our #1 priority was that our children not have to live a life as you described. So our kids wouldn’t be crying as we shove them at the daycare door so we can get to work on time. So they don’t have to worry if Mommy will remember to pick up snacks on the way to t-ball or if she will be too tired to hear what he/ or she is saying about their school day when mommy is wore out from work.
All mom’s work hard. One isn’t better than the other. If you have to have two incomes to pay your bills you have overextended yourself and you’ll have to live with some of those choices. Hope the big screen tv was worth it. Sounds like mommy guilt. If you’ve made the choice to work not b/c of finances but b/c you want to than you also have to find the balance with that.
Bottom line is neither one is harder. They are both hard and both deserve respect. Let a blogger blog and vent about her life….we all need to vent, working or not. To me the point of this blog was to point out that staying at home isn’t all peaches and cream like so many think it is….it wasn’t saying that staying at home was harder than working.
This is awesome. Not only did I share this on facebook, I went old school and printed it so I can share it with my mom and grandma.
OMG this is the most hilarious thing that I have read in a long long time. Thank you SO much for posting this…….
@Rachel Lorech passed along, even though I’m not a mom, I thought this was amusing!
Wow, I just scrolled down and read all the angry comments, and I feel compelled to add my 2 cents. I am a stay-at-home-working mom (yes, I have an awesome, but super busy, job that lets me stay home with my munchkin), and I love my life. I would prefer to not work, but we didn’t want to wait to have kids, and we are planning to move from our high-living-expenses area to a lower-living-expenses area so we can live on just one income. Yes, everyone has different stories…but I disagree that a woman should or can be expected to give fully to husband, kids, AND job. Something is going to suffer, and it better be the job, otherwise it’s not worth having kids.
@Jenn, what about men? If a man has a full time job outside the home, is he not expected to give fully to his wife, kids, and job? Or should he not have kids either since something is going to suffer?
This is so funny. What I do love about the comments on all sides and in the middle is that we all identify with these questions (and even have a few more of our own) Which is what I think all the passion is really about when you get down to it (past the surface layer of anger) If anything, this article, through humor, and the comments, through anger or compassion, show that we’re all doing a tough but unspeakably worthwhile job at raising our kids.
K- this is funny, but the problem with articles and comparisons like this is that they assume going to work means you stop being a parent when you go into the office. So while my answers about colleagues is no, I still deal with all that when I’m home while trying to fit an entire day of housework and interactions with my child into 3 hours (and I get 3 hours only because I keep my children up too late so I can see them and hope they take extra naps during the day at the babysitters).
Honestly, I hate the assumption that going to the office is a break. I’m still a mom whether I’m at home or not.
being a parent is not a “job”. weather you planned it or it “just happened” it’s life! Taking care of your family is not a chore as many of you have made it sound like. It sucks that that’s what you have labeled parenting…. a “job”. Too bad you can’t just be fired for sucking at it… (my 2 cents! thanks)
Oh come on this is hilarious…
@SusanP – Same deal, that was implied. Dad;s can stay home (some do) just as moms do. I suppose Moms stay home more often because INITIALLY it makes sense when breastfeeding. Though once that is over it doesn;t matter, and it doestn’ matter if not breastfeeding. What matters is whoever does, has the right attitude, can think on their feet, be flexable, patient and be able to teach and lead.
Right, so to be clear, if both parties are working something is going to suffer. How much can vary on the situation and the support.It can be either mom or dad who stay home.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I had to go to the bathroom to wipe off my face with a towel just so I could come back and finish this because I was laughing so hard tears were running down my entire face and I couldn’t see at all OMG LMFAO! This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life so far! NO JOKE!!!
I was on the floor laughing hystiercally at this post. There are very things that will do that to me. Thanks for the laughs!
This is too cute! Made me laugh out loud.
I am thinking that JenJen doesn’t have kids, or is jealous that she can’t be a SAHM and/OR resents her job.
It sounds to me like the author’s children give very little respect to their mother and she is too concerned with baby-pleasing so she spends her entire day chasing them around and getting stressed out when what she needs to be doing is teaching them discipline and letting things go.
Examples:
You let your kids throw things at you.. (lack of respect)
You let your kids destroy your property.. (lack of respect)
Do you really “have to lock yourself in the closet to make a phone call”? Try locking your child in their room while you make your phone call on the couch.
Your kids scream your name until you come to their calls.. Try letting them scream until they decide they’d rather come to you or simply stop screaming.
Of course I don’t expect kids to be capable of being behaved all of the time but if you let them walk all over you then of course your day is going to be stressful. I’m sure if working moms let their co-workers treat them like garbage then their days would be stressful too.
I am going to have to go with if you found this artice offensive or as a debate.. you are just jealous of SAHM Moms. And Franflower totally missed the point of the article. Another jealous woman.
@Franflower
It’s supposed to be FUNNY. And two year olds take many times of reminding how to behave to behave correctly unless you’re disciplining them by making them fear for their lives.
I’ve found that people who judge other people’s parenting skills with condescending airs like you are have NEVER had children.
This is the funniest ever I was laughing very hard LOL
I got a good laugh from this. I’m a SAHM too and my husband is the one with the paycheck earning job. We both thought this was funny. Neither one of us took it as a slight against working parents. The author seemed to suggest that she and her husband both had challenges with their everyday and that the challenges were different, not one working harder than the other.
I didn’t get the impression at all that the author doesn’t enjoy being a mother as some of you suggested. I also didn’t get the impression she chased after her kids all day long in a constant state of stress as someone else surmised. She’s just making light of some of the things all kids do. And most of them do throw things, make it hard to make a phone call, interrupt you while you’re trying to use the bathroom at some point. That doesn’t mean they’re walking all over her or she’s miserable all day every day or that the kids did these same behaviors every other minute. She picked behaviors that all kids do at some point so we could relate to what she was saying. Taking care of your kids IS a lot of work. It’s tiring and sometimes very frustrating. Being a SAHM can be all of that and at the end the end of the day still be the most rewarding, wonderful job a parent could ever be blessed to have. I don’t think she was saying her husband’s job wasn’t as stressful. I think she was aiming the lesson of the article in the line of thought that SAHMs don’t have it easier than office working parents just because we are dealing with children.
ive done both, of course they are BOTH hard but it also depends on your job and kids. when i worked at a call center i sat on my rear all day long, yeah it could be hard dealing with customers, sure i felt tired, but that quiet one hour lunch was nice. now im home with three little ones and its NONSTOP. there is no one hour lunch there is no adult interaction. and im constantly trying to be a “good” mom. i cant just shoo them away when im eating if they really are hurt or need help in the potty or whatever. when i was working i just hoped they were in good hands and could turn most of my mommy brain off for the day. so it depends on your living situation but those two years of working in that call center, although i stressed about daycare (dont miss that expensive daycare!) and rushing home in a winter storm to avoid fees was a nightmare, i would say being SAHM, for me, is ten million times more work. but i love being with them because I am raising them, not someone else. oh and yes down time is chore time im on the computer cuz its midnight. so ill pay for this in the morning.
JenJen, I don’t agree that being a stay at home parent(or any parent) isn’t a “job.” If it wasn’t a job we wouldn’t pay babysitters and child care providers to watch our children when we can’t do it ourselves. It is absolutely a job, and it is work and some people do it well and others don’t. I do consider it my “job” to stay at home and that I do “work” even if others don’t consider it so. Just because I don’t get paid for it doesn’t mean that I’m not working my ASS off!
Thanks for the best laugh I have had in a while. I nearly peed.
I would like to put “franflower” in a room with a bunch of 3 year olds……….and if that doesnt work maybe a bunch of US stay at home momS…..
I know this is going to be a really unpopular comment, but I find it much easier being a SAHM to my three kids (4mo – 3yo – 5yo) than it was when I worked full time.
But, all the same, I found this post hilarious!
This is both hilarious and true! The running joke I have with my husband when he vents about his rough day is ” I’ll trade you for a week. ” I am a SAHM to my three children (5mo-2yo-4yo) and there is NEVER a dull moment. Certain days I truly feel like I am losing my mind. There has been many times I have thought about going back to work to help out financially. But when I think about ALL of the things I would miss out on ( that you want to witness as a mother)I come back to my senses and realize that the little that I would gain going back to work isn’t worth ALL of the losses. Children grow up too fast and before you know it they’re all grown up and out of the house. Though sometimes I feel like I should check myself into the nearest psychward I would never trade being a SAHM for anything.
I also want to clarify from my earlier post that I am a teacher so I do have 3 months each year off with my children so I know what staying at home entails. And I know that personally I find it much easier and relaxing I n the summer when I am home. I respect SAHMs and what they do but its articles like this that really get on my nerves. As one other poster said I have NEVER seen an article/blog etc. That puts down SAHMs but I continually see them say how much “harder” it is. If you want the respect you so fervently say you don’t get, you shouldjust stop with the whining that you don’t get it. I respect any mother who does her best to be a good mother working or not. But I hate the idea that because I work at least 40 hours out of my home weekly that I don’t have the same problems SAHMs have. I still do the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning, the breakfast lunch and dinner. I just have to do it AFTER my workday.
Lizette your problem is you are coming off as jealous, since this post has NOTHING to do with what you are talking about. It has to do with comparing spouses jobs, the different stresses in a funny way. I have worked fulltime most of my life mostly 90 hour weeks, no time off ect, very demanding INTENSLY stressful job in transportation..phones ringing, people bitching, constantly fixing things and putting out fires…in NO way was that harder than taking care of children fulltime. Because I could leave my job, and if it became unbalanced I could find a new job…can’t fire your kids. Working outside the home and being a parent is completly different because SOMEONE should be there to take care of the majority of chores (which is what this article is about and the house I live in now) So its NOT as stressful on the paycheck earning person. If BOTH people work, that is a different article..for BOTH have to make it work and hence why one usually takes that job..well as a job. If you are happy in your life and satisfied with who you are, you don’t feel the way you do. I read this and thought it was hilarious! Raising children is one of the MOST important jobs there is…think about that..your a teacher, don’t you prefer working with kids who have parents that are attentive to them. more support is needed for people who are unselfish, optimistic and are doing what they can to make the world a better place…and yes, this can also be a working mom..but only is she allows that for herself
Definitely not jealous…I love my job, kids, and life in general. If you have read the comments you’ll see that these types of article most always turn into which is easier as this one has. Im just expressing my opinion. The same argument you make can be applied to SAHMs as well (if you are happy you shouldn’t feel the need to tell everyone how “hard” you have it). As I said I know what it entails and I respect it. Jealousy is definitely not my issue. Its unfortunate that you saw it as such.
Lizette I am also a teacher and my post will pretty much sum up how I feel about this issue. I have NEVER heard a teacher mother say “I really wish we could stay in school year round so I don’t have to be home with the kids all summer…its so hard being home.” I do however hear almost all of them dreading the end of summer and going back to the crazy schedules and missing their kids.
Lizette, the author never said her job was harder nor did she put down working parents. She just wanted to point out that being a SAHM could be as challenging as having an office job. It was meant as a light hearted look at some of the things SAHMs go through, not one of the judgemental articles/blogs you may have read that has you sounding so offended.
Many people aren’t aware of jealousy, for you are not seeing what this article is, you are not ‘getting’ the intention. And the author ovbiously is comparing a working spouse to the one working at home, different stresses. It has nothing to do with being a punch a clock mom or not. So its sad that anyone got put off or that it got on their nerves at all by it. She didn’t bitch or complain she artfully compared her day, to explain the different types of stresses. Its not about how hard anything is, its just funny. If it is seen as anything else than that, it is because people can be jealous or guilty feeling. Jealousy comes in many forms, and it can be just the fact that she is able to take her life and be grateful, or it can be that she does have a more challenging time. Life is hard and nothing great comes easy. Everyone makes their own choices on what makes the most sense for their family.
Hebe Bree with that psychology degree you have seems like you’d be working!
I thought this was hysterical! I often explain to my students that moms or dads who stay home with the children are definitely working! When we discuss future and career choices, I always point out that this is definitely one of them. Great list!!!
Thanks Mom of 2! They are very long days but I wouldn’t change it, I get the extra work by being very lucky to have 2 special needs kids! I suppose being wired for it and having a background in psychcology certainly helps. But it was a long road, i think being given a bunch of challenges early in life helped me become fully aware. I am most grateful for that, and for having wisdom. They are more valueble than the previous “things” I obtained when I was single and had tons of extra money.
HAHAHAHAA!!! OMG! Truly funny and honest, nice way to explain the experiences of a typical day with children! How stressful it actually is, never thought about it like this.
This is awesome!! Made me laugh out loud.
“”I really wish we could stay in school year round so I don’t have to be home with the kids all summer…its so hard being home.” I do however hear almost all of them dreading the end of summer and going back to the crazy schedules and missing their kids.” I don’t think this necessarily reflects that life is EASIER as a SAHP….but may bring a deeper personal satisfaction and sense of accomplishment. Working out is harder than sitting around on my butt all day, but I do it because it I feel better about myself for doing it….not because it’s easier. And actually all of my friends are teachers as well and a lot of teachers do look forward to getting back to their jobs at the end of the summer.
Everyone feels the need to vent about their job from time to time or to try and get “the other side” to understand where they are coming from. It doesn’t mean you hate what you do if you vent from time to time.
Or it’s safe to assume you’re a nurse. lol
It’s sad that anyone would ever complain about being a SAHM when it’s just not an option financially for so many of us. Don’t know you that it rips my heart out to leave for work…
#’s 4 and 11 made me LOL!! I think I’ll share this list with my husband.
Thanks for the laughs!
Just because a parent works doesn’t mean we still don’t have those days. Work is only approximately 40 hours of our week; we still take care of our kids and face the same challenges as SAHP’s; we just have 40 less hours a week to cram it all in. You know how it never feels like there’s enough time in a day? Well subtract 8 hours from that day and see how much you get done; and that doesn’t include the commute! Hey, we’re ALL still parents, and we all face the same challenges; we’re just not all lucky enough to stay home with our kids; that doesn’t mean we don’t know what you ‘re talking about.
I am not a SAH parent, and never could be. However, I think your analogy is off. I think kids and partners actually both qualify as “clients” – selfish, demanding, unreasonable clients. (my husband is a SAHD and it shocks me how often I take his work for granted and ask him to go just one more extra mile…)
Haha very funny!
I’ve been a working parent and SAHP – SAHP is so much more work -lol!
great funny article a bit ridiculous with the whole lets have a debate about who jobs harder im a stay at home mum to 3 children 5 ,2,and 8 months and yes it is hard i have a partner that works very long nights and does uni during the day i think were pretty level on the who puts in the most hours part but i want the working mums to consider this u have a clock of time to your wohm job yes to your kids maybe not but do u have to get up 3 or 4 times a night to a teething 8 month old and a night terroring 2 and half yr old that wakes the 8 month old up lol try that on for size only getting minimal sleep and then wake up in the morning to give ur all again all day because being a mum and being selfless is apart of our job to leave nothing for our selfs at the end of the day barely have the brain capacity to to not think about washing and making baby food if it is an equal partnership stop whinging if not put foot to arse , oh and to the person that crapped on about the articles authors child being disrespectful im sorry but what 2 yr old do u know knows the meaning of respect ?
@Alice Amber Taylor, Yes actually I DO know what that is like, because my daughter wouldn’t sleep through the night for about 11 months and I got up with her (breastfeeding) and then I had to go to work as a teacher, where if I don’t give my all 130 kids suffer. And my students don’t have a nap time. When I get home, it is my turn to be the “on” parent. You say the debate is ridiculous and I think it is too. Just because I am a working mom doesn’t mean I don’t understand where you are at. Nor does it mean I get an ounce more “me” time (or sleep!).
@Alice – I absolutely DO know what it’s like to do both. I currently work fulltime, as does my husband. My husband leaves our home at 330am – the kids and I leave at 720am. My 2.5 year old is not sleeping through the night – we are up and down 4-5 times (worse than a newborn). My children share a room (they’re 2.5 and 4) and when one wakes up, the other does. I get the kids ready for their day as well as myself, drop off, work, pick up, clean, cook, baths, bed etc. I feel as if I never actually stop – I lack sleep, energy & personal time. My husband and I get 0 time together most nights. So I do know whats it’s like on both ends.
If your not getting enough sleep than its your partners fault Abby…because if you are both punching a clock that should be divided, If only one is, then the responsiblity goes to the person who is not punching a clock, I think that is what she meant. You don’t have to be defensive. You DO get more ‘me’time because you have to commute to work, and you DO get lunch…it may not be much, but it is more than what other people have…plus you are lucky to be able to work. Many SAHP’s do not have the luxuary because of schedules and cost of childcare.
grass is greener syndrome. In my experience I do love being a sahm BUT I would love interaction with other adults on a daily basis. But hey..that is what parks and well….the outside world is for. Sure taking kids out is kind of difficult but not impossible. Honest opinion I do believe that the working spouse has just as much stress but a different kind of stress.
Oh, boy. This again! Can’t we all agree that everyone’s life is hard in some way and everyone’s unhappy in some way? Then we can move on and stop picking at each other. Honestly, y’all!
In the state that I teach in your lunch isn’t legally protected. I tutor. I have to. And I am not saying that stay at home moms have it easier. I don’t think they do, it is just a different set of hard. I just felt like the comment I was responding to was assuming working moms don’t do any of that. We do. Being a mom is hard.Period.
I thought it was really funny! Imagining the scenarios you described had me laughing!
Working parents deal with the same things on the weekends and during vacations. That said, having done both SAH and working outside the home, working outside the home (or even from home) is easier!!
Love this! But seriously, some of you need to lighten up and stop taking this as some kind of attack. You can’t expect everything to be about YOU!!!
So sick of SAHM thinking their life is OH SO HARD. Please. You CHOOSE to make it hard for yourself so you have something to complain about. You CHOOSE to let your kids run all over you DAILY. You have no concept of real life. Oh My, your “church shoes”?? Seriously? That’s your big worry of the day?
OH and I Love how SAHMs say they don’t get to “clock out” at any point during the day, that they’re “always on”.
So what exactly do you think Working moms do? Go to work, put their feet up and eat chocolate all day? No, we do every single thing that SAHMs do And then way more.
Get off your high horses, small minded people.
Being a single WAHM… taking care of the kids, house, and work.. I will say it is all about scheduling, planning, and optimizing time. I used to work as an operations manager for years… Now, I feel under more pressure but love it! So glad to be the one home with the kids.
Both sides can be hard. But do we take time to see both sides?
Forgot the all day activity of keeping track of them! In my working life, I didn’t normally need to worry about colleagues getting lost between rooms, playing with the water in the bathroom for an hour, stripping naked and running around, or worry about co-workers escaping if every door and window wasn’t locked and barred. Both lives have very different challenges!
Oh my goodness, that was absolutely hysterical. I’m literally crying from laughter. Did you make this up?
Loved this article, so true and absolutly hilarious, Thanks for the laugh!
Too funny and so true! Thanks for the laugh!
I agree with Bree and feel very sad for all who took this hilarious article as a complaint, a comparision or a put down to working Moms. Being a parent is hard, no matter what your day entails.
I would love to post the lengthy response to this ridiculous article the is in my head but unfortunately I have to go get the second load of laundry that I have done already this morning out of the dryer befog I get my kids up and ready so I can go “clock in” at work. I hope all you SAHMs are up, showered (and I promise if you get up at the time I do you’ll have time to get a shower), dressed, have two loads of laundry done and are ready to start your day! Good morning working mothers!!!!! Put you smiles on and ignore this nonsense. WE know what we do
And before some of you high horse people point it out, I had some typos because im on my phone because I don’t have time to sit down at a computer this morning.
Tell you what, Working Mom: how about you swap a week of what you do for a week for being a SAHM? Then see if your view is the same.
Because there is one other issue not addressed by this article: however much you love babies and young children, they can be pretty boring to look after full time, day after day. Do you become infantilised, to the stage your husband is eyeing up his secretary (or A N Other member of staff), or do you train your children to talk sense from an early age?!
Great article… laughed till i cried..
Working mums, no offence, but what she’s really pointing out is that being a SAHM is no bed of roses, unlike what some (esp men) think. Where I come from, when one says that one is a SAHM, the typical response is wow, so lucky, no need to work / i wish i’m a tai tai (local expression for rich ladies who lunch). Seriously I want to sometimes want to slap the person making such comments.
Uh, yeah, as many have already said, “Alice,” moms who work are still moms. So, yes, we also spend sleepless nights up with our little ones. And we have to go to work the next day. And there is NEVER a nap. I have spent days at work, when I have had 1-2 hours of sleep all night, trying to write pleadings for federal court in between sobs because I miss my baby. But yeah, I’m sure SAH is much harder. Keep bitching about it, guys.
Moray…I teach so I stay at home 3 months of the year. By FAR the easiest E months of the year! I’ll take a little boredom over crazy schedules and missing my children ANY day. So yeah…been there, do that all summer and LOVE it
A lot of working moms are hostile to this argument. All I want is to go to the toilet uninterrupted. I’m sorry, that is heaven to me. Not bitching about anything. Very Very VERY thankful for the job I have. It’s not us that has a chip on our shoulder though.
I want to point out that at the beginning of the article she says that both their days are stressful in different ways. And the article is aimed at her husband. She meant it to be funny.I am a sahm, I have a part time job. My hubby works 60 hours a week most of the time. And i see both sides. But while the author never belittles working moms or her hubby… Some of you guys are quick to point out how she has it easy. You have no idea. Being a parent is damn hard. Regardless if you’re a single parent, stay at home parent or working parent. We all have it hard. No one gets an award for who has it hardest.
I can’t believe how some people treat SAHMs. Listen, I’ve been on both sides very recently. Three months ago I went back to work full-time. And I can tell you this, being a working mom, in my opinion, is far easier than being a SAHM. At work, I get a break from time to time. I get to eat my lunch without interruption (most days). I don’t have to clean up poo or puke. I don’t have to listen to anyone scream or cry. I get to have adult conversations. Going back to work has given me my sanity back. Those of you you think you have it harder because you are a working mom have probably never had to be a SAHM for any length of time.
Working Mom… how on earth are you so “bored” during the summer? Sounds to me like you aren’t having much interaction with your children. I’ve done both (work vs. stay at home) and I don’t remember ever having time to be “bored” at home with my children. Working, yes, I was busy and had deadlines to reach, caseloads of clients to tend to, but I could always count on my lunch break, my drive to and from work, etc. for some “down time” during my day. At home, I surely don’t get that. But to sit here and belittle stay at home moms because you think you have it so much harder is just ridiculous. Like I said, I’ve done both, and both are HARD and both are rewarding. Sounds to me like you’re full of guilt for leaving your kids all day for someone else to raise.
Funny article, shouldn’t be taken too seriously. However, as a “working” mom, I think it would have been a nice touch if she ended it with #12: At the end of your work day, regardless of how awful your co-workers and clients treated you, do they eventually hug you and say how much the love you? Probably not, and that is probably what makes being a SAHM worth any of this stress.
Okay, it’s a light-hearted piece, and I took it as such (certainly not worth the mommy-wars ire of many of the comments).
However, I just have to say – all of these funny little quips are about how adult coworkers treat you better and are easier to get along with than small children. Well, I should hope so, since they’re adults. What’s being ignored is the fact that all of those interactions with the children – making food, wiping butts, administering naps, basically trying to teach small children how to become happy and functioning adults – that IS the work of parenting, and so it represents the majority of the day for a stay at home parent. Interacting with coworkers certainly has an effect on the day of a parent who’s working outside of the home but (with a few exceptions, perhaps) it doesn’t represent the work of the day. There is other actual work being done – briefs, reports, lesson plans, presentations, etc, etc. Right? It’s not like you go into an office, say hello to your coworkers, sit at your desk, eat lunch, and then go home.
So, yes, both choices have their challenges, and it’s certainly funny to compare the behavior of adults to children, but this article doesn’t even begin to touch on the actual differences in the work involved or what the days are like.
I’ve been reading articles and the comments that follow for a lot of years now and the arguments are the same. The “ease” or “stress” of either choice is completely dependent on the scenario and cannot be simplified as either you’re a WOHM, WAHM, or SAHM. There are way too many factors at play – how many kids you have, their ages, if you have kids with special needs, what your husband does, if your husband travels, if you have hired help in the home, if you have a support system such as family who live close by, your commute, what kind of job you have, the economy, etc. I know great SAHMs and I know lazy SAHMs. I know WOHM who have it easy and some who have it very hard. You just can’t judge simply by the choice to stay home or not.
Yeesh! Try doing this while WORKING from home to pay the mortgage! It’s like taking the SAHM’s day, and the working parent’s day, and smashing them together…CHAOS! lol
OK, all the arguing Mothers on here just need 2 things….A drink and a LONG bubble bath uninterrupted. WE ALL have it hard. Being a parent is never what you think it’s going to be. I just belly laughed by behind off reading this blog for the first time in days…it made me feel really good. It’s humor, freely written. Now those of you with cranky comments, pass the children off to your spouse, sister, mother, babysitter whoever, and I order you to take a bath, have a drink and take a nap! You are GROUCHY!
Awright, Babble! Let’s encourage more working vs. nonworking parent wars! That’s totally a great use of everyone’s energy!
I’ve done both. Each has it’s own challenges and anyone who acts like one or the other is perfect is crazy. Being home all day with my kids was emotionally exhausting and tedious at times. Being at work full time and still trying to get everything done at home and be there for soccer games and spend time with the kids etc is physically exhausting. And yes, I have a husband, but he travels a lot, does his share when he’s home, but most of the time it’s just me. The challenges change as the kids get older. Being at home with the preschooler is a lot easier that having a baby and a preschooler, but navigating breastfeeding and solids is a lot easier than helping my school age child navigate social circles. I laughed my ass off at the belly button one. People who take offense? Need to relax a little.
I’m a childcare provider and have been for over 30 years so these things ARE part of my work daily
. I can relate for sure!
I LOVE this! I’m SAHM and also care for 2 other children during the work week so this fits my life to a T! Thankfully my husband works from home most days so he’s fully aware of tough my days can be.
SAHM… I was responding to Morags comment on how boring it was…Read all the posts please before telling someone you don’t know they aren’t spending enough time with their kids…wow! Funny though how WOHMs aren’t supposed to be grumpy and judgmental…
I don’t have a choice but to work – you CHOSE to have kids – now deal with it and stop complaining!
You know what I’m sick of? People telling me how LUCKY I am to be able to stay home with my kids! I’m not lucky or wealthy….I’m extremely frugal and broke at all times! It’s not even really a choice…I, like so many other SAHM’s out there, would not be able to cover the cost of childcare if I went back to work.
Anyway, this is really about spouses….and thankfully my husband understands that what I do at home all day is REAL work and appreciates that I’m here to do it. I am happy to be home with the kids….but man can it be exhausting! His coworkers can be a pain or be demanding…..but he’s not expected to carry them or change their dirty diapers either!
The funny part about this is I am a working mom…I work in an office and can’t understand the time to go to lunch with friends…time for a child to grab 6 pairs of church shoes and hide without the caregiver seeing the child do it….how the caregivers keyboard is broken when they are suppose to be giving care to a child…I to have to have private conversations that I have to take out of the office so my employee’s don’t have to over hear my private conversations….finishing a complete though would be extreamly nice in my office daily as it is crazy busy—maybe starting a nap time would work…..Now my day is done in the office—-wait I now have to pick up the children..make supper….do homework…spend the quality time that I missed out on all day in the office with my sweet little child…ensure the kids are clean and have clean clothes to wear the next day….a lunch and snacks to eat at school….and not exspect my husband to come home and take the kids off my hands because I had a rough day and need time to myself!! I love to work extra time in my ofice so I can have an afternoon off to attend the poetry cafe or kids teach parents math afternoon at school!
I do thank you for these questions as I now realize just exactly how much I actually do in the run of a week for my family and my ocupation! You to as a SAHM I am sure you are busy and comparing your day to anyone elses would be the same as comparing fire and water to quote my son!
Yes ma’am No Comparison…you are soooo right!
Oh goodness! It was just a funny little piece, ladies! That said, in response to some of the comments… I have been a WOHM in a number of capacities – including as the head of a non-profit and I say with total sincerity that being a SAHM is the toughest job I have ever had. For the WOHM who say that they do everything a SAHM does on top of their job, I’m afraid not. It’s that whole “SAH” part that makes the difference. There is a level of parenting intensity that is just not there when you work outside the home. For the 8+ hours you are away, your child is asking (non-stop) questions, s/he is having needs – emotional, physical, spiritual and mental needs that someone else is meeting. Someone else is thinking, “can Suzy have that, can Johnny swallow that, WHERE is Sally??” (The lady who couldn’t understand how you could lose a toddler cracked me up!) It is true that a SAHM doesn’t get a potty break much less a lunch break or the BOLI-mandated 15 minute break after 4 hours of work…but more importantly, it’s the intensity of the job. I have had some INTENSE jobs – and the intensity was usually in bits and spurts and when the intensity was long-lasting at least I could go home and not have to answer that e-mail or phone call or work on that report until tomorrow. YES, WOHM come home and do the laundry, make a meal, parent children …but the truth is, it’s … well, it’s like baking. I can crack open a can biscuits and pop them in the oven and say they’re homemade. I can open a box of Bisquick and make biscuits and say they’re homemade. I can use baking powder, salt, flour and butter and say my biscuits are homemade. I could even grind the wheat and make biscuits and say they’re homemade. But…the lady using Bisquick and the lady grinding the wheat are going to have a very different perspective about how hard it was to make biscuits, right? I mean, they are both biscuits – they both contain basically the same major ingredients… It’s just that when you have Bisquick biscuits, someone else did the wheat grinding, some of the measuring, some of the mixing etc.. Yes, we’re all mothers and to a degree we all do the same homemaking/mothering work. Likewise, a biscuit is a biscuit – but and to a degree the Bisquick baker and the wheat-grinding baker have some of the same tasks – and they do end up both making biscuits… But to say that a Bisquick baker and a wheat-grinding baker put the same level of work into baking biscuits just isn’t accurate.
This article was meant to be a funny piece particularly directed at the men. Unfortunately, they don’t always understand what we women do as mothers, and sometimes don’t appreciate it as much as they should. WOHM and SAHM alike, we do so much to care for our kids. It’s like the argument for curly and straight hair. Those who have curly hair want straight and vice versa. Very few people are happy with what they are given. WOHM may think that SAHM have it easy and vice versa. In the end, we all do what we think is needed for the best interest of the child and family life. So please stop the arguing.
am i the only man blogger here? just want to say: love the article! Keep up the good work.
http://www.lousebuster.com
I agree that both SAHM and WOHM have it hard. I’ve done both and also worked full time from home – none are easy, all are WORK, but there is a trade off. WOHM have a level of sanity that so very very easily disappears when staying at home all day with non-adults. By being in an adult environment, you have the possibility (even expectation) of being “distanced”, not personal, “civilized”. Whatever you want to call it, you have your own space & (hopefully) some level of respect. With SAHM, your sanity is the first to go! However, let’s not even open the door that the word “stress” introduces – there is no comparison in a SAHM’s life (barring fatal accidents/illnesses) that compare to that of a career. As many others have commented – at the end of the day, that hug & kiss from your coworker make up for the lack of personal space (which ironically is caused by the close relationship) and the “stress” melts like butter.
You know, most of us moms that work in an office would give anything to be a SAHM. We know how hard it is – trust me – we don’t diminish how hard it is. But, we do it too. Just b/c we’re away from our kids much of the day, doesn’t mean that we have less responsibility…we just cram it in fewer hours. YES. It is hard. But I can also let you know, that we deal with rude, immature people in the office… I guess I can only say that I’d trade it all to be a SAHM…. don’t diminish how lucky you are.
Thanks for a much needed laugh! I’m a sahm and found this so true, and so funny. I read just a few of the comments and had to stop. I have no doubt an article just as funny could be written about a wohm day. So what? This article wasn’t diminishing anyone’s else life in the least bit. Have a sense of humor!
Laughing with tears streaming down my face. My husband is looking at me funny.
JD
Twitter : @momagement
Wow, what an unexpected response! Thank you for taking the time to read the article and to share your thoughts on it.
I read every comment and appreciate the feedback and insight. Lots of things were shared that I have never considered before, so thanks for all the different points of view offered. Thank you also for all the positive and encouraging comments; they mean so much to me.
I also want to make it clear, that this article was never intended to say that one job was harder than the other; just some observations intended to be humorous. I have the utmost respect for stay at home parents as well as working parents. Every parent works hard no matter where their office is!
I agree this was meant to be funny and not meant to make anyone feel bad. WOHM, you need to lighten up a bit! I went back to work for 5 months after my first son was born and it IS very hard to work and than come home and do more. I made many, many changes that allowed me to stay home and then go on to have a second child. The humor in this article is about having not one moment to yourself, to wiping butts and noses and having someone ask you a question every 20 seconds…and then ask the same question again. Working Moms have their own stresses it’s a tit for tat game, no one wins on stress level. It’s just different.
I had a major health issue that did not allow me to care for my children and pick them up for 5 weeks. My husband stayed home for two weeks to help out. Three days in he turned to me and said ” how the hell do you do this?” I laughed and said “practice!” He works 60-70 hours a week and after that two weeks couldn’t wait to go back to it and has never said again my life is easy as a SAHM. It warps your brain, you have little adult interaction and you are cooking and cleaning all the time. It’s just different. You aren’t wearing pretty clothes, you don’t have a lunch break and no one says great job. But we have other rewards so it is worth it. We are broke with me staying home, at times I have lost my mind but I don’t change it, it’s worth it to me.
But, when I take my shower in the morning I have my 1 1/2 year old shut in the bathroom with me while I sing to him, my 3 year old pulls the door open and asks me to open his granola bar and later, as I “do” my hair I have an audiance who hangs on me. My clothes have spit, snot and drool onthem at all times, I never look nice, but, lets be honest…where am I going? lol!
Very funny and so true! My husband and I had a good laugh reading the article together. I can’t believe people are taking this piece so seriously.
Thanks for the laugh, I honestly cannot believe how serious people are taking this and feeling the need to argue! It is meant to be funny! Lighten up people!
I found this very funny. Even more so since I am a SAHD. I would like to say a few things though. The stresses for both are different and to me is hard to compare. For working parents I believe their biggest stress is “If I lose my job, what will happen to my family?”. Also I became a SAHD because of my son’s health issues. I hate it when people say how lucky I am to be a SAHD. I know of several SAHPs that became stay-at because of their child’s health issues and if working meant their child was fine they would go back. Also just because someone is a SAHP does not mean that the spouse is making a bunch of money, it means that we have sacrificed. We do not have new cars or take big vacations. With that being said, I say to all the parent who are in the lives of their child, especially single parents, keep up the good work.
I’m past this age in my life: been there and done that, both SAHM and WOHM (I only read this article because it popped up in my Facebook). Here’s what I can tell all you mothers, no matter where you’re working:
Stopped arguing with each other over who has it harder, and who’s doing things right or wrong. Chances are, at some time in your 20+ years of parenting, you’re going to be doing both SAHM and WOHM. And when those parenting years are over, you’re hardly going to remember because it will have gone by so fast.
So give it up. It’s a boring argument. Accept the fact that no one understands life different than their own, no matter what it is. If someone doesn’t understand your stress, so what. Know that you’re also not understanding theirs.
That said, this was a funny article!
What are “church shoes”?
This won’t be a popular point of view I’m sure, but I’ve been both a SAHM and a WOHM – currently I’m a WOHM with a teenager, a toddler and twins on the way. I can honestly say being a SAHM was much easier than being a WOHM. Yes you might have an unexpected visitor while you are using the restroom but that’s no different than being stopped in the hallway at work and detained for 20 minutes on your way TO the bathroom. You can’t exactly stop your VP mid-sentence and say “sorry, I need to go to the bathroom, can I come find you in a bit?” I rarely go out to lunch with friends and co-workers – in fact, I did it MORE OFTEN when I was a SAHM. Why? Because I didn’t have to worry about coordinating a real lunch break around con calls, meetings, deadlines or other interruptions. I also had the luxury of not clock-watching to make sure I didn’t go over my one-hour of allotted time. At work, I heat up a frozen dinner and eat at my desk while I work – and most of the time I have one or two people pop into my cube to ask questions while I’m eating. There are MANY times I go to a “phone room” which is essentially a closet to make or take a phone call because I have no privacy at work. I really don’t want my co-workers hearing me schedule doctor’s appointments, discuss any medical conditions/concerns, talk to my oldest child’s teachers about missing homework and failing grades or scheduling a vet appointment. As a SAHM I didn’t have to battle with getting the kids dressed and out the door on time, having babysitters peel screaming children off of me because they didn’t want me to leave, then face a 90 minute commute all the while checking my Blackberry to get an idea of how hellish my day will be once I get into the office. I was guaranteed at least 90 minutes of peace and quiet each day – also known as naptime – in which I could sit on the couch, get online and relax. Yes, laundry needed to be taken care of but that was easy enough to throw in the washer first thing in the morning, then into the dryer at some point during the day and folded in the evening. As a WOHM I still have to do laundry, only I have a shorter timeframe to do it in. I also have the added stress of worrying every time I get a call from the sitter saying my youngest is sick, or taking time off to go to a doctor’s appointment, or leaving early to take my oldest to sports practice…never mind making sure I leave the office exactly on time every day because if I don’t, it makes me late getting my toddler which results in a meltdown when I get home. I have to handle dinner, bathtime and bedtime with my toddler on my own because of my husband’s work hours….and again it’s a regimented schedule because I still have the responsibility of cooking dinner for the rest of the family and having it ready at a reasonable time. I also have to oversee that my oldest has done his homework properly (which is a challenge since he has ADD). I’m up at 5am every morning and am lucky if I get to sit down for the evening before 8:30pm….and that’s when I pull out the laundry and start folding.
Being a SAHM is challenging – no doubt about it – but I would take that hands down over being a WOHM. Unfortunately I make more money than my husband, work for a larger company, have a great pension plan as well as a 401K, have a better option for health insurance and many other things that make it impossible for me to not work. Most days my 2 year old is more well behaved than most of my co-workers….and at least at home I have the option of putting him into time-out when he throws a temper tantrum. I don’t have that option at work.I understand this article was meant to be funny, and there were some humorous points to it, but I don’t think it accurately depicts what it’s like to be a working mother or the challenges that go along with it.
THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! All true, all excellent questions!
I had to give up my life as an insurance agent in a professional world with my 18 month old in daycare, when my spontaneous triplets arrived on the scene. I lost my sense of self, my sense of drive, my independance, my social life, all to be a SAHM. Not that it’s not nice to know that I’m home with my kids, raising them myself, but some days I think they’d honestly be better off with someone else, someone with more patience; someone who won’t scream, “I’M ON THE PHONE! I TOLD YOU TO GO WATCH DORA!!!” But they make me laugh all the time. They love me and I love them. And I learn so much from them. No, I may not remember how to issue a commercial general liability policy anymore, but I can change 3 diapers in 3 minutes, I can make a meal for 4 kids in 5 minutes, I can sit and snuggle my littles during quiet time movies.
My husband, on the other hand, the sole provider for our family of 6, thinks I have it easy. He is involved, helpful (my dishes wouldn’t be clean without him), and my best friend. But there isn’t much that makes me as angry as him saying his job is harder on him than mine is on me. Not only does he get a 30 minute commute to and from work to wake up/decompress, but he gets a private cubicle, bathroom breaks, and a WHOLE HOUR for lunch, which he gets to take to exotic restaurants with his buddies from work. I miss all that terribly, though I DO NOT miss having 5 bosses. I don’t miss the heartbreak of dropping my daughter off at daycare, beating myself up because we need two incomes and a stranger is raising MY baby.
Sure, things are different now, money is tight, and my mind no longer functions over a 2nd grade level, but I think it’s worth it. One day I’ll be reborn from my cocoon, like a social butterfly, and I’ll gain myself back. All while my husband lives the high life at work.
Very funny!
I love the comment below about why a mother would DARE be on the computer while she’s supposed to be caring for a child. The biggest assumption WOHMs have made (in my experience) is that SAHPs work 9-5, too. That’s the hardest part to explain to people. Since having triplets 7 years ago and leaving my job, I’ve had NO time off except when the kids sleep, so I have to work in moments for myself if I want computer time or TV time (which almost never happens until after 9PM). And even then, if a child wakes up vomiting at 2AM, it’s MY job to take care of it because I don’t have to go to a “real” job the next day. My husband works 25% of the hours of a year, then comes home to a wife who’s cleaned his house, cared for his kids, tended to the lawn, fixed the car/house/odd job, made a homemade supper, and paid the bills. Once his butt hits the couch, he’s OFF WORK. I don’t get that luxury. I’ve had a “real” job before and I miss the days of going to work and leaving your problems there. I miss the challenges both mentally and physically. I miss being able to take a “sick day” when I’m ill. I miss being able to get a lunch… PERIOD. I miss being somewhere *quiet* without my ears ringing. I miss talking to an adult. I miss having something to talk about with my husband that doesn’t involve toilets or boogers. I miss having a reason to fix my hair instead of wearing it in a ponytail. So yes, this article was funny, mostly because people think our lives as SAHPs are a dream vacation. We not only have to work hard, but we have to be self-motivated while being under-appreciated.
I think I’ll print this off and give it to my husband. He’s a working parent while I stay at home, and sometimes he just doesn’t “get it.” Hilarious!
This is great! I just started back to a full-time position after being laid off for 4 months, and then working the previous 1.5 part-time. I also do freelance graphic design and sewing on the side. My husband comes home and sits on the couch and watches tv…while my only downtime is going to the bathroom or sleeping (the DVR is proof I haven’t watched any of my shows in weeks).
Hands down, being a SAHM is more work than working an 8-5 job…but to the untrained eye, being a SAHM is glorious. But, of all the jobs I’ve had, being a SAHM is the best!
But, I also noticed that I have experienced about half of the above list at one of the jobs I was at–the only difference is that the actions were done by adults who should know better!
Wow, it’s crazy how many people took this article the wrong way!!! The author is not talking about the difference between working moms and stay at home moms. She is talking about about a partnership where one parent is working and one parent is at home. We all know that a moms job never ends, and a working mom has the very difficult task of being a mom and juggling everything that comes with that ALONG with her 9 to 5 job. Mothers, you are amazing no matter what your title is. You work tirelessly and your job is never finished. This article is funny for those of us who are in a situation where one parent stays home and one goes to work. If that is not your situation, then it’s not even about you so why are you getting so worked up and offended?! We all have different roles in our family, and we all want to be appreciated. No one has it easy, no matter what their life looks like from another person’s perspective. We all have unique challenges. Instead of getting offended and turning everything into a competition, we should appreciate each other and build each other up. Thank you for this article, it made me laugh!
LOVE this article, LOVE the humor. To anyone that is still actually trying to compare if being a stay at home mom, work at home mom, work out of home mom, WHATEVER it is. It is all hard, rewarding work. Stop focusing on the divide and start focusing on the common denominator, WE ALL HAVE KIDS…..we should support each other, no matter the choice.
What about being a WOHM who is also the sole breadwinner? You go to work every day, getting up before everyone. You have to make sure to pack your food so you don’t waste money going out to lunch. You earn the money, pay the bills, take care of the budget, have a boss and co-workers to deal with (who can be as bad as a 4 year old or simply be demeaning… and as someone else said, you can’t give them time outs), deadlines… You come home and are thrust into Mommy role. Cooking dinner, doing laundry, feeding the baby, changing diapers and the children’s outfits. Try to get time with the kids, pick up some toys here and there (as if it helps). Try to get the kids to bed at a decent time, but they don’t take to it. Then you get to bed late, only to start over. You have the guilt of not having the days with the children, and then extra guilt for not having more energy after work or on the weekends. Even with a husband that helps (he’s a SAHD), it’s a lot of pressure and work. But then someone might say “Single mom’s have it harder!” And they have it darned tough too. So why compare? Honestly… I would love to be a SAHM. Not because I think it would easier work, but because it would be a few less roles to perform.
Ok this article was funny. I am a working mom but am lucky enough that I work 40hrs in 3 days. So 4 days a week I go thru all that in an article. Then go to work and guess what feel like I am still doing all that. Not physically as I work with all teenagers (Juvenile Jail) but there are still no private phone conversations or anything.
But the article was meant to be funny and meant to give us a laugh of how different things can be between SAHM and WOHM, it was not meant for it to say one has it harder than the other, at least to me.
Heather I think this article is great. It gave me a good laugh after have a stressful night at work last night. I only worked 8 hours of overtime but it still helped me get a better smile on my face and made me realize how comical somethings that happen are.
I’m not a mom but I worked as a young doctor (resident) in a hospital for a while. This article made me realize that being stay-at-home-mum is very similar to working as a resident in a hospital.
A Man’s Perspective: People, it’s a funny piece. Get over it. It is obviously not aimed to belittle anyone. Stop crying over your hurt feelings. I am a husband that works and my wife is a stay at home mom and I found the piece hilarious. Heather- you did a great job of putting in words what my wife describes to me on a daily basis. I would never want to trade spots with her. She is absolutely amazing and I know that she has the harder of our two jobs. I would be commited to a facility with padded rooms if I had to do what she does. To all you moms- we (your husbands) do appreciate what you do and know its hard. Keep it up.
Laughed until I had tears…thanks! I’m helping to raise grandchildren and can relate to all of these questions for the second time in my 53 years! Wouldn’t trade it for the world…all the peanut butter kisses mean so much more this time around! =)
These are wonderful! Though I know my husband has stress at work, I can never fully explain to him why I count down the seconds till he gets home to help take over the “kid stress” at home. With 6 kids I never…I mean NEVER have a quiet moment. To never hear silence at any point sometimes even while sleeping…or trying to, well, it can make a momma a tad bit looney!
So Funny!!!!
Yep, this is reality!
This is what I try to communicate to Josh, but this does it much better. =) funny.
I was a SAHM of 3 children for 12 yrs. Let’s get real here. Yes, there is a point where you think you will lose your mind with the endless demands of your children,but that “nonsense” is NOTHING compared to life in the “real world”! How can you possibly compare the “stress” of having a child demanding to be in the bathroom with you or the fact that you need to bring a supply of clothing or need to wipe peanut butter off every area within a mile, with the real world demand of meeting a deadline or attending a meeting with the top executives of a company when YOU are the one preparing the presentation. Come on girls! Nothing is more ridiculous to read about than the over worked SAHM who needs to hand off the kids to her spouse when he walks in the door because of her “stressful day. When the working world tackles another day fighting traffic & weather conditions such as rain/sleet/snow,you, as a SAHM, have the choice to roll over, cuddle, snuggle, watch movies(educational of course),cook,bake, finger paint, sleigh ride,go to the park or for a picnic or to the pool. Don’t even try to compare the two worlds. The SAHM has it made. Been there, done that & regret that I ever complained about how hard my day was. I didn’t have a clue what I was talking about until I changed places. Now I know the real deal. SAHM’s should ENJOY every minute. Just between us,it’s the greatest sak/con job in the world!
I’ve done both the SAHM and working-mom bit, and I can honestly say I felt the working mom was easier…and that was even a working military mom. The level of destruction two young boys can cause in the time it takes to pee is astonishing and I feel like I never stop cleaning because they have all day to attack the house. When I worked there was no one at home to destroy the house while I worked, one less meal to make in the day and I got to pee in peace (mostly) while I was at work. I may have had less time at home to do “home stuff” but I had 8 to 12 hours at work to engage with adults and de-frag a little…I adore my children, and more power to the women that can do years and years staying at home, but I can’t wait to get back to work.
Zoe, you are way off base. No one was “complaining” here, just making light/finding humor in some of the unpleasant facets of the SAHM’s experiences. Glad you are back to work; perhaps you should have stayed at home longer if you are that miserable at work.
This was absolutely hilarious!!!
Sorry Kate if you got the impression that I am miserable at work. I LOVE my job. It was time to get back into the work force.My children(3 boys) are all very close in age & college tuition will soon be knocking at my door. Although my husband earns a wonderful salary, when you have children to educate there is never enough money.I also want to start contributing to my pension again because I know how quickly time flies. Many girls my age went right back to work after each pregnancy & have climbed the corporate ladder to very lucrative positions by now. The competition in the job market gets tougher every year that you stay at home.It was time for me to move on to the next step. My time at home was precious & wonderful & my memories can never be taken away from me.As I said, I have been there & done both & SAHM have the MUCH easier deal WITHOUT a doubt.If you don’t think I know what I am talking about then you better find a way to stay at home forever because you’ll never make it out there in the business world. Childcare & the real world are miles apart. Both have their place. I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to experience both & as they say,”There is a time for every season”. However, to make a comparison of the two & to make a case implying the SAHM has it tough, is foolish.
Alright, I’ll comment. (Heather, I LOVED the article.) Some outside of the home jobs are really difficult and stressful, and would be that way even if the worker didn’t have children. These people think it’s harder to be a working parent. Some kids are really clingy, or sick, or difficult in other ways. Parents of these children think it’s harder to be a stay at home parent, if they’re at home. Because jobs, the temperaments of the children, and the temperaments of the parents are all difficult to compare, there’s no right answer to this question. I know lots of SAHM’s who rock at their job; I’m struggling, and I look forward to my daughter entering full time day care. I’ve really missed my intellectual, adult life. At the same time, I’m glad that I was able to be home with her until she turned two. There’s no one right answer, because we all are in different situations.
Oh my goodness! I laughed until I had tears rolling down my cheeks, which made my future lil’ dictator give some swift kicks to my bladder! I loved this! I got it for the tounge in cheek satire that it was meant to be and it truly lifted my day! I shared it with my husband when he got home and while he didnt laugh quite as hard as I did, he found it funny and in no way a dig at him for working or a “I have it worse than you” debate. He was imagining the real live co-workers he has behaving this way and laughed. I think you did a great job at being humorous about a situation that hits the heart strings of alot of people. Its a topic that isnt entered into lightly by any parent and so is a passionate topic. I think your piece was a very funny representation from your position. Keep up the great work and enjoy what you do.
Zoe – maybe your experience with YOUR children was not as hard as your corporate career. But there is mom’s out there that have children with special needs and so forth. You feel working outside your home is important, I feel working inside is the most important, and any mother who says its easier than the corporate world might not be doing their real job as a mommy. You stated “with the real world demand of meeting a deadline or attending a meeting with the top executives of a company when YOU are the one preparing the presentation”, well, as far as I’m concerned your doing BS work that will never be truly appreciated, and another woman, younger and smarter comes in the lead and takes your important position, I ighly doubt you would think its really important anymore once your dumped and forgotten. Your molding a company that really doesn’t care about you in the LONG run, I am molding souls that will forever remember, appreciate and love me. Who really has the more serious and important role here?
Danielle you assume working mothers don’t “mold souls that will forever remember and love” us??? I very much beg to differ and find it highly offensive when sahms assume they are more of a mother than working mothers.
Working Mom, Where do your children go when you are working? Who takes care of them?
I am a SAHM. I have talked to working moms who later on switched to SAHM or vice versa and most of them say being a SAHM was harder than being a working mom. Both are hard for sure. No doubt.
Danielle my neighbor took care of my kids until they started school. But I can tell you one thing, its stupidity like that and comments like yours that make working mothers so angry. Seriously…you honestly think you’re a better mother and yet you have NO idea how much time I spend with my kids. I probably do just as much with my kids as SAHMs do but I enjoy it MORE because I don’t think of it as a “job” or stressful. I love every minute with my kids and very much consider it my time to relax as opposed to complaining about how “stressful and hard” it is”. Soooo you keep complaining and i’ll keep enjoying my kids. I feel so sorry for those of you who think being around your kids all day is a stressful job. Sometimes its the quality of time you spend with them not quantity. So Danielle keep judging me and other WOHMs. Life isn’t a bed of roses for anyone but dang some of you ladies make yourself sound pathetic when you talk about how hard it is to stay home with the children you chose to have.
Sorry, Heather, but why is this a versus question? Do we really need another rift in the Mom-o-Sphere? We’re all on the same team here, people. Do what you’re doing, and do it well. Don’t judge someone else’s life decisions because you’re unhappy with your own.
Yeah, Danielle. It was unforunate enough that the pissing contest ensued here, but nobody that I saw was attacking anyone’s fitness as a mother based on whether they WOH or SAH (which is not always just a choice that people can make with the flick of their little pinkie fingers, by the way). Now you’re just being nasty.
hate to say it, but i have to agree w. danielle a little. companies could care less about their workers these days, and in the big bosses’ eyes you’re just not that important so why not scale back a little finacially and give that time to your little ones if you can?
BAHAHAHAHA! Oh this just totally made my day!
Well I am a teacher so its not like I work for some big uncaring company. Actually I am caring for the children of people like Danielle and mom2lucy so they can think they are better than me! Thank God for some caring WORKING moms who care for our children 8 hours of every day!!! When your children start school Danielle and mom2lucy we’ll see how important you think MY job is….
HILARIOUS. I can so relate to each one and I will be sharing with my husband tonight.
I stayed home for three years and went back to work FT when my youngest was a year old. It was a financial neccesity because my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to have major surgery and was unable to workfor almost 2 years. My children were both very easy babies and toddlers, and I had a huge support network of friends, so being at home, while sometimes tiring, was not as difficult as the demands of my job.
A year ago, my brother and SIL were killed in a car crash and left custody of their three young children to me and my husband. My husband’s cancer had been gone for 7 years and he was working, so I quit my job to stay home with the three new little ones in our family. I felt like they needed it after suffering such a huge loss. And this time around, being at home is SO much harder than working. None of my friends have little ones, so not much support, and because they are not my biological children, people make a lot of assumptions. The middle child in particular is challenging, plus all three are still grieving for their parents. Not a day goes by that one of them or me isn’t in tears because it’s all so hard.
So all you moms out there arguing about which is harder, please shut up. There is no easy answer. It depends on so many factors–the kids, the personality of the mom, how much support there is, the job, etc.
@working mother – I homeschool all my children. I spend my time teaching my own children, not others.
I like how everyone just start blaming Danielle for sticking up for stay at home moms, but Zoe down below stuck up for working mother’s and actually made fun of the work sahm’s do and noone said anything about that. Wow are our priorities off balance.
I worked in direct care crisis adult mental health. So all 12 questions could be answered “yes” with regards to be people I took care of. For my friends still there, God be with you. But for me, I’m so glad to be home right now with my 1 1/2 year old daughter. And then there are days I wish I worked at the gas station up the street.
I have a book for all of you to read-The Mommy Myth. It tackles the rift between working and stay at home moms. I’m a young mom with an 18 month daughter, and I started going to school full-time when she was 7 weeks old. I spend hours at school, and then I need to do my homework for classes so sometimes I have nights where I can’t watch her if I am going to get anything done. But when I’m at home, or now, when it’s summer break, I just care for my child, and spend time with her and raise her. But when I’m in school, I go to school for her, so that we can have a good life later on. So isn’t me going to school to better the life for my daughter, even though I’m NOT getting paid at all, like a working mom, who works so that the bills can be paid and they can have a stable financial life working for her children? To me, it’s not about whether I should stay at home or get a career, it’s about what I want for my family life, and who I make my sacrifices for. Whether it’s sacrificing a career to be a stay at home mom, or sacrificing time with my children to work and pay the bills, I’m going to do it because they are the deciding factor for me. I find it hard to believe that any mother, working or stay at home, would not have their child’s best interest at heart.
Just to shed some light on the intent of the article…Heather was not pegging working moms up against stay-at-home moms. She specifically said she was addressing her husband, who isn’t at home all day with kids. The post was meant to be fun and light-hearted, which is exactly how I interpreted it. Picturing adults with whom my husband works doing things that toddlers do made for a great laugh. Thanks, Heather!
I LOVE THIS!! Too funny! And oh so true!!!
I taught preschool before, so every one of these’s things could apply. I loved this. My daughter is still a baby, so I’m getting a break from the toddler craziness (and I miss it!)
Haha! Totally applicable … especially the one about the stall!
lol, i’m an ECE teacher so i get all this at work AND at home. haha!
Wow, why can’t this be taken as the light-hearted fun article it was meant to be? I’ve worked in both realms and, actually, I still do. I just dropped from 40 hours in the office to 24 hours at home. I am home all day with my 17 month old son and then I work at night at home, preparing presentations, working on our government contractor client website, writing emails, etc.
I can say from experience that working IN the office was much easier. I would drive in, get my cup of coffee, sit at my computer, have lunch with colleagues, then drive home, feeling accomplished and ready for bed.
Now, I work all day, raising our wonderful son who we wanted more than anything. Then, when he goes to bed, I put in the hours here, getting up when he cries, putting him back to bed, dozing while staring at the computer screen wondering where I was, what emails have I sent, what’s that noise? Is he up again? Meanwhile, laundry piles up, dishes sit, and while I work, I think of how much around the house needs to be done. Coffee breaks and lunches with colleauges have been replaced by finding time to throw the diapers in the wash (oooh! I have to do that!), making my husband’s lunch for tomorrow, etc. My husband is wonderful and helps out so much, but he is also exhausted at the end of his day and, since I am able to nap with my son during the day, I cut him some slack when he’d like to go to bed instead of clean. (he’s cleaning now, by the way).
Sometimes I miss how simple my days were before. Sometimes I miss going into the office. Even though the type of work I do was seldom left at the office and I often worked from home even in evenings, it was so nice to have the option to drive that 45 minutes into the city. Sometimes, I’d even take the traffic over having breakfast that I delicately prepared thrown at me from a high chair. But, I wouldn’t trade being able to be home with my baby for ANYTHING!! My priorities are straight. My son comes first, above any proposal, email, or deadline. Sure, that may get me fired someday, but it is what it is. I feel very lucky having the job that I have. I know that many moms would love to be able to stay at home, but due to finances,they can’t. My days are long and hard, but I can’t complain.
Oh, come on you lot! It’s not about you!
Well done, Heather- I often wondered whether my husband got it. For a long time he didn’t seem to understand that the simple fact that his busy day (pre-work with family breakfast, paid work, and chaotic family evening) being broken up with a pleasant 15 minute drive to work and back, was very different to my busy-ness because my whole day blurred together.
Yeah i do all this and still work a 40+ hour week, seriously stop acting like life is so hard when all you have to do is take care of a baby, i would kill to stay home full time with my son crayness and all, and i would be simple if i didnt have to go to work the next day
I’ve been on all sides; at home, in an office, in a school with kids, in a school with adults, and even in someone else’s home with their kids… I’d rather work in an office or a cubicle in regards to stress level and peace of mind. The hardest thing is to work with kids and even harder if it’s your own! If its someone elses you know you go home and leave it at night but when you are a stay at home parent your job is 24/7 whether you are sick or not. So you don’t get lunch break, personal days, vacation days, holidays, not even potty breaks! And even when the husband says they will help out we still have to go back and do everything all over to fix what they messed up. When we are away we are worrying about what is going wrong or being messed up with the kids. So there is no peace of mind. No 15 min peaceful drive time. I Hate Barney!!! I’m tired of hearing it in the car. Please someone stop him!!!!! awww I just want a bathroom that can lock and has a stereo and tv in there.
No, I did everything on your list AND I worked a full 8 hours. I’m also getting kind of tired of this same theme showing up all over the internet. If it’s aimed at your husband, fine… could you also publish it where him and that target audience will read it? When it’s aimed at working moms it’s an insult – they do all that in a day and then some and are highly unlikely to pity you your “difficult” job.
LOL, my wife just pointed me towards this. And well, this sounds like and average week on a US Naval Ship. Although I will concede the point that most sailors havn’t let go of the High School mentality.
I am laughing so hard after reading this that tears are actually streaming down my face. Wonderful. Thank you.
Ladies, calm down. I saw this as just cute and funny article. Reminding us how funny our children act and what they bring to our day….for SAHMs and WOHMs. I’ve been both. Right now, I’m a SAHM due to a surprise 3rd child and the cost of daycare. I found the demands and stresses were similar, just different. I’m sorry, but you can’t compare the two. I know lots of SAHMs and WOHMs and all in-between. They are all very different types of women that have all different reasons to do what they do. I can’t put any type of woman or type of lifestyle into those two categories. Different family dynamics and/or economic circumstances factor into these decisions. Pitting these two groups against each other is just ludicrous. No one can say that they *know* their life is more stressful than another simply by what they do during the week. As a SAHM, I do have shitty days and I did as a WOHM too. I can only compare my life. I DO know raising kids is hard and we all do that. If staying at home is right for *your* family, do it. If working is right for *your* family, do it. We all have the capacity to be great moms. Neither working nor staying at home automatically makes you a good or bad parent.
Doing both is like working two jobs; let’s be honest. I am surprised at the level of disrespect leveled at the SAHM’s my the WOHM’s. It is hard either way, and if you are a WOHM it is a lot of work. But it’s a lot of work to be a good SAHM: being a nanny, a teacher, a cook, a maid – live in, with no benefits, time off, or retirement benefits. If SAHM’s were economically compensated commensurate to their work, offered continuing education and other perks I doubt these types of posts would even exist . . . it’s a shame that even among other women, respect = dollars earned. What’s wrong with just acknowledging another woman is working hard?
Stunning. A FELLOW woman writes an amusing article about HER experiences as a mom, and many of you feel the need to take it as an insult to WOHM’s? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and think that it’s because you feel guilty that you’re NOT at home, but for pete’s sake, lighten up! This wasn’t a dissertation on being a SAHM vs. a WOHM, she’s not “complaining” about being a SAHM, she’s sharing a funny anecdote! Chill the *beep* out. We as women will never move ahead of the game for just this reason…everything is about ‘us’ and is a freaking cat fight….
I love how all the SAHMs say this is just a “light hearted, funny article” but when WOHMs defend what they do its “disrespectful” haha! Very typical though, it always happens that way!!
it’s a ‘lighthearted, funny article’ are SAHMs? I’m not, and the article IS lighthearted and funny! She wasn’t saying anything about WOHMs…again, as a previous poster mentioned, lighten up. Life’s too short, truly.
I love it! Still laughing now…
I’ve been both a SAHM and a WOHM at different points in my life, and I have to admit that for me personally there is less stress as a SAHM because despite all my children’s craziness, I madly, deeply and passionately love them and no matter how mad I get, my love for them covers all. Can’t say the same for colleagues and bosses!
@ Lisa…because it IS a light-hearted funny article, and being defensive is silly, because there is nothing to defend..there is no one being attacked..and if anyone sees it any other way, well they better get themselves to a doctor or take a vacation. Because that is some serious paranoia/anxiety/guilt whatever, for them to figure out. Please review the title of the piece..it is about spouses..when one works at an office and the other works home with the kids, as a joke, comparing their days..not harder or better…just different. I get it though, people want to vent on the internet.
oh and my comment at lisa is also meant for all the other people in need of a hug or a vacation or a slap if they are jealous. seriously people, think for a minute
Oh, Heather! I can’t tell you how many times I wish I had a questionnaire like this on hand!
I love this light-hearted piece.
Obviously you all with your panties in a bunch can’t read. This is about a stay at home parent and a working parent. Did you miss the word SPOUSE?? Get off your high horse. I have no idea why you think this is bashing WOHM. Obviously this post was totally lost on you. Lighten up and get over yourselves.
Love it! Thanks – I might make my husband read this!
I must say…you just made BOTH of us laugh, uncontrollably. LOVE every word of it. You go girl!
Love this I feel the same way and cant wait to show my husband this.
Look at the title…ok…”Stay at Home vs. Working Parents” and Dag’s that’s exactly the response I would have expected haha. Im not sure why sahms always think wohms are guilt ridden or stressed out…after all you guys have soooo much more stress in your life. So much so that you feel the need to write about it in blobs, magazines, books… yet wohms dare not say how their day is stressful or we are paranoid and jealous. THIS is what I think is hilarious, not this whining article.
Obviously I meant BLOGS not blobs
I’m a WOHM currently ‘moonlighting’ as at a SAHM. (in Canada we get a full year mat leave-sympathies to American friends) I did not find this offensive at all! WOHM and SAHM BOTH have stresses they have to deal with! Instead of being bitter and whining it’d be nice to see women stick together and support/encourage one another!
Thanks so much for this piece! It’s good to be reminded that so many of us are all in the same boat … oh, just a sec, excuse me I’m just getting an important status update from a young fellow in my office, apparently “HE WANTS BREAKFAST NOW!” … sigh, if I ever got yelled at like this in a regular job I’d quit!!
Thanks again!
Loved this! Hillarious!
Made me laugh! SO true!!
I am crying laughing!!! this is hysterical!
Does your day include getting dressed including hair and makeup while also getting young children ready, knowing you need to be out of the house before 7:30am.
Does your day include an hours prep. while keeping your own children amused and dealing with any needs they have?
Does your day include eating lunch while tutoring 3 children on your ‘lunchbreak’?
Does your day include having toilet breaks limited to a maximum of 3 times during the day and just when you think you’re going to bust and have to go,an emergency comes up and you just have to keep working with your legs crossed for an hour?
Does your job involve wiping the nose of children who aren’t even yours?
Does your job involve being out of the home for 10 hours and still having to organise housework, tea and time with your children when you get home?
Does your job involve waking to children during the night and still having to do it all again in the morning?
Why is life about comparisons. There are difficulties in all sorts of jobs, SAHP, WAHP and WOHP. Can’t we quit the competition and just support each other.
Danielle, have you considered some people have chn with special needs and are also working parents. My children don’t attend childcare. They are at school. When they’re not in class, I have them and still work 50 hours per week. My children are well rounded and I have compliments from people regularly on how lovely they are. They are achieving well academically and socially. Being a working Mum, doesn’t mean a bad Mum, just a very busy Mum. Rise by 6, bed at 11 and every minute counts. I’ve been a SAHM for one year. The rest of the time I’ve worked. I’ve worked while they are asleep and now they’re older while they are at school. You keep thinking you’re the best Mum though and the hardest working.
this is cute and so true!
Wow, could this article be any more whiny? Are you all so naive as to think that all this only happens from 9-5 and that children are perfectly behaved little angels at all other times of the day? Then surely you must all realize that every parent, including working parents, get to experience all this. Just quit whining already, and just be thankful that you are well enough off that you don´t NEED to work out of the home, some parents don´t even get to make that choice. Every last one of us SIGNED UP FOR THIS when we had our children, so get over it already.
I´m a SAHM of twins, btw, before someone comes on here and says that I´m ¨just a WOHM who doesn´t get it.
Wow. Some of the comments are baffling. This was meant for just a good giggle and nothing more. Grow a sense of humor. A few of you seem to have some issues going on within yourselves. Maybe it’s time to readjust your priorities and stop having kids if something like this upsets you that much? It was funny for any parent on either side of the fence.
To the angry/RUDE people: it is HUMOUR!!! Read clearly and you will notice it said between SPOUSES not working moms vs sahm’s. Goodness! Do you teach your children these same manners? Work your personal issues elsewhere.
Loved this article! I have been trying to convince my husband to change his work schedule so that he will be home in the evenings! This is exactly why! Thanks!
I’m jealous of the moms who can hand their kids off to their husbands for just a few minutes when the husband gets home… after working all day with SO much stress I come in the house and the kids are all my ‘job’ now so my husband who has been home with them a few hours can have a break. When exactly is my break? By the way, I want to take over everything at that point so I have as much time with them as possible. Oh, and when I take time off from work? Yeah, it’s to do all the things you get to do daily.
I would always tell my husband that at least when he had lunch with co-workers he didn’t have to cut up their food, get their drinks, admonish them to eat their food, or clean up their mess! This article was co cute and true. And not at all directed towards working moms!
I am a STAHM, and I feel blessed to be able to be, and I have and always have had a lot of respect for working moms,like my own mother and many of my friends. But I find this hilarious, as did my husband. It really is not a hit at working moms, and its not a whine fest either. Regardless of our parental status, STAHM, working, student, you name it, even people who are not parents at all, we all have stresses. This is just a fun colorful, light hearted way to explain some of the stresses of raising children. Working moms who read this should just take a moment and think about a time they can relate to their child doing one of these things and picture someone you work with doing it. Respect to all.
Do you get to watch tv at work? Can you put your boss down for a nap or in time out? If you have a really awful day and scream at the boss do they cry and say sorry to you? Can you decide to skip work and go to the playground instead, and still get paid? I am so tired of hearing how unappreciated SAHM’s are. Are they really? Is that why being a good husband now includes coming home from work and helping around the house? Or that EVERYONE is afraid to just say it like it is (because that would be not appreciating their hard work)… it is NOT hard work. It’s an often unpleasant job, but with modern conveniences and the current agree-ability of the working male, it isn’t hard. It would be completely unacceptable for a working father to write an article expounding on how easy his wife has it at home, so why is when the opposite done it’s okay and just humor? I think the very fact these articles are everywhere is proof enough that the era of the unappreciated housewife is over. We’ve won that battle. Now can we stop whining and get onto doing something that’s actually productive?
I love working outside of the home. Although right now I am a SAHM and I love my kids but I feel like having to go to work is a break. I am a SAHM because my husband is a soldier and when he got orders I had to give up my job and follow him. Don’t lecture me about the sacrific that my husband has made either because I was a soldier too and he asked me to give up my career for our kids and I did it because I love my husband and I love my kids. I loved being a soldier as well… I love spending time with my kids but being a SAHM is probably the hardest job I have ever had!!!
That was so good. It really does shed a new light on the differences or the challegenes of being a SAHM. I laughed the whole way through. Today was a difficult day. So thanks for the smile.
Don’t forget that the SAHP isn’t just ‘working’ on the chores of the house. They are acting as teachers as well. I think that is why they feel that their job is “harder” because they are doing all the chores with little people under foot AND doing things like teaching manners, dealing with behavior/discipline issues, teaching letters and numbers and speech, how to share and don’t hit your brother, this is how we act when we go to a public place, this is how we wait quietly in a doctor’s office, etc etc etc. They aren’t just at home doing laundry while perfectly behaved children color quietly.
Personaly I found the article hilarious. If for no other than reason then imagining grown men and women acting like toddlers.
Maybe you could try being a single mother, having to deal with the pressures of the office (and yes, there are many), and then come home and take care of the house and kids too. And that’s on a good day, not one where you are getting calls from the school that are complaining about your child or saying you have to come immediately to get them, when you are also facing deadlines and a boss who looks down on you for having to deal with kids at all. Be thankful you had a choice. Yes, taking care of children is tough work and shouldn’t be dismissed, but so is working in this economy, where you are constantly worried about losing your job and home and you are doing everything you have to, to keep the job, and sometimes that is very difficult, too. You’re very fortunate to be in your position, where this is your biggest worry.
Let me preface this by saying that I’m a brand new Grandma, so I’ve been there done that! All parents work hard either at home, at work or both. This is a discussion that has been going on forever and I do mean forever!
Whenever the conversation winds around to staying at home or working I am reminded of a little story about how a man comes home from work. The kids are in the front yard still in their p.j.’s, toys are everywhere and the front door is wide open. He goes into the house, the TV is on full blast, as is the stereo, there is a furniture fort in the living room. He goes into the kitchen, the fridge door is open, ice cream is melting on the counter, half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are on the table and juice is spilled on the floor. Now he’s really worried so he calls for his wife! No answer, he doesn’t even want to think about what could have happened so he goes upstairs worried that she’s ill or been abducted. Only to find her sitting in bed with the TV on, an empty plate on the bedside table, newspapers strewn about the bed, sipping coffee and reading a novel. She looks up and says, “hi honey, how was your day?”. He’s aghast! “What happened around here today?”. She says “well, you know how you always ask what I did all day? Today I didn’t!”.
Doesn’t that sum it all up? I was a Mom during the era when we were told women can do anything and the bottom line is…it’s hard raising well adjusted, polite, intelligent children whether you work at home or outside the home and isn’t it time that we all quit arguing about who’s right or who works harder? We all do what we need to do and what we feel is in the best interest of our children.
the comments here are really interesting and make some great points . . . i thought the article was really funny, even though i work full time outside the home. i mean, i do know what it’s like to be on my own with small children – i did it often, while married (evenings, weekends, maternity leave, etc) and now i’m single so it’s all me, all the time. like right now – i have a sick child in my office with me. and even though i have 1000 work-related things to do, i’m taking a break to read this, because he’s napping and i just need a freaking break already, you know?
it was funny imagining adults engaging in all this toddler behavior, but it made me remember working in group homes (where, yes, i did deal with this kind of behavior from adults all day) and think about nurses, day care providers, etc, who do deal with this and much more, from people who are not their beloved babies.
and, yeah, i dealt with much greater stressors today than my church shoes being under the sink or someone asking me to open their fruit snacks while i’m trying to use the toilet – but that’s not the point. the point is to laugh, and i did, so thank you!
OMG that is so funny, I’m still crying.
I really don’t want to get into the which is “harder” discussion but I would like to say that sometimes the “office” isn’t an office at all. I am a high school teacher and sometimes there are so much stress at my job. It doesn’t come from the principal, the co-workers, or the lesson plans. It comes from the situations some of our children live in. From the child who comes to me and asks for lunch money because he is hungry and has none, from the 16 year old girl that lives with her cousin because her mother chose her boyfriend over her own children, from the 15 year old “bad boy” who comes to me in tears because mom used all the money for drugs and he had to move out of his home into the “ghetto” because she’d rather have drug money than a nice place to live. These are the things that send me home to my own children in tears some days. I love my students dearly and it breaks my heart to see these things. And it is very stressful, much more so than my own children asking for things while I am in the bathroom or trying to clean my house with children crying. Yes…Staying at home is hard and I take nothing away from the job at all. I admire it. I think all that some WOHMs want is that same acknowledgement that what they do is difficult too. Some jobs more than others but we work very hard and get very stressed out too. So to the poster who home-schools her own kids (Danielle I think) good for you…what an awesome job…but someone has to teach and care for (and parent a lot of times) these children who don’t have parents like you. Because some day, you child will be living in the world with these other children and hopefully someone, somewhere along the way has taught them to be respectful, to work hard, and to care for others too. On the same note, aren’t we all thankful to the mother who works as a nurse and cares for our little ones. I think sometimes being a parent makes you a better worker, teacher, nurse, or even factory worker because it puts many things into perspective.
I have to say that even for humor’s sake, this is a bit whiny. I would love love love to stay at home and be with my child as much as I want. I am a single parent, doing all the office stuff, the kid stuff, and staying up after he goes to bed to do the freelance work that keeps us from losing everything. Try working and being a mom, before you attempt to make the point that you’re stay at home mom life is stressful. Lucky lady.
So jealous that your day is so stressful! I know it is a lot of “work” taking care of your precious kiddos – but the payoff is way more than us office workers make. Enjoy your time with your kiddos. There isn’t much to compare to being at the office, but your husband needs to understand that you aren’t just sitting around eating bon-bons too! You have the best job ever!
My husband stayed home with the kids over the winter while I went back to school. He said he would never again complain if everything wasn’t spotless when he got home from work. He said it was the hardest job he ever had and would rather work. All I could do was laugh when he would call and tell me the new tragity, and 5 minutes later my phone is ringing again. It was a real wake up call to him on how hard the job really was. When I was working I was a cna, taking care of the elderly in nursing home, so I could answer yes to a lot of those, and I would still staying at home is so much more work, but I would never trade this time that I have with them. Before I k ow it my daughter is going to be telling me she hates me instead of wanting to lay with me for nap. It will all be gone in the blink of an eye and I’m not gonna miss that blink
So much hate in this thread. Can we all just stop with the ¨holier than thou¨ BS? Both SAHP and WOHP have it difficult, just in different ways. I am a SAHM but I don´t dare for a second pretend that my job of raising twins 24/7 is any harder than hubby´s, who goes out and works to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, then instead of getting to relax, comes home and helps with our boys. I for one envy my hubby for the mere fact that he actually gets OUT of the house, has the independence to do so without having kids in tow, and gets to SOMETHING instead of staying home taking care of babies all day. He, on the other hand, envies me for the time I get to spend with them, the fact that I was there when they said their first words, first sat up on their own, first rolled over, etc. Yes, he gets the freedom of getting out of the house but look at the price he pays for it: he misses most of the major ¨firsts¨ in their lives. If I wanted to, I could decide to go back to work. He can never, ever get to see all the ¨firsts¨ that he´s missed. I think being a SAHP is a blessing if you are lucky enough that your family can afford it: just remember that the WOHP pays the price for that, and I´m not just talking the financial price. So instead of sitting here whining and arguing about who ¨works harder¨ why don´t we all get off our collective high horse and tell our SO, whether they be a SAHP or WAHP, how much we appreciate what they do? No one here has it ¨easy.¨
Allison Marie McGlaughlin, there is not one iota of hatred in this article. Its called humour. You have been a SAHM far too long cos it seems to have visciously devoured your sense of humour go????
Sorry Allison Marie McGlaughlin I just saw you are referring to the thread, not the article. My apologies. The article was fun though, don’t you think?
I have been both a stay at home mom and a working mom, for those that asked. Being a stay at home mom is much, much more stressful. I have worked full time and part time, and even worked from home (which is probably the hardest!). When I was working part time, going to work, no matter how stressful it was, was like getting a much needed break. I could make my phone calls in the car on the way there, or leave early and make them from the parking lot, instead of locked in my bathroom so I could hear the person on the other end… I had some co-workers do some pretty stupid stuff that I had to clean up as the manager, but at the end of the day, I got to leave. It wasn’t sitting there screaming at me or anything. If someone got hurt, I sent them to the doctor and filed a few papers. I didn’t have to located insurance cards, load the van with 4 children, one of which was screaming at the top of their lungs and clinging to me for dear life, and then have to try to keep them all quiet and calm in the waiting area, and then safe and out of the way in the examination room.
Yes, there are stresses to being a working parent, but it is TOTALLY different. Stay at home moms aren’t rich. In fact, I stay home because I couldn’t make enough at work to cover the cost of day care, and thus it’s more affordable to stay home. Most two income families make way more money then us, and are much higher on the status of living chart. But we make do.
This was a GREAT list! Thanks for sharing it with us
Heather, I don’t understand your comment. I work but if my children are sick or hurt I still have to take them to the doctor. I still have to stay home with them until they are better then go back to work and catch up. No one does that for me, I just have to be called away from my other job to do it. We have those same stresses
My post is more reactionary to the comments than the article. I understand why working outside the home moms would become a bit taken aback by the article because when we get home for what I call my third shift-kids in the morning-the boss all day-kids in the evening, we have to cram a lot of things in a short amount of time. I try to fit as much of my kiddo time into just those few hours-yes sometimes we are actually at the park at 7 p.m. at night and my SAHM friends won’t come meet us because, “It is so late in the day”…
However, the thing that gets me is the statement that I hear all the time, “I am so blessed to be a SAHM”-OK-I don’t quite understand this-having a healthy wonderful child and/or children is what makes you blessed. The way I see it, I wouldn’t have it any other way then working outside the home-we have built a relationship with our community that includes daycare providers (gasp), teachers, and friends and our family has not “suffered” for it. Our kids have excelled academically and socially. It is OK to have a job outside the home and like it and know it is the best decision for you and it doesn’t effect if you are a “good” parent or how your kids will turn out. I do get tired of hearing, “I have a job and I hate it”-no one with children or without should do that but if you choose to work outside the home (even if you could afford to stay home etc)-it is OK-you are all right and you can still get the mommy of the year award!
LOL!
Thanks for the laugh, I’m going to show this to my husband. My 2 year old freaked out today b/c I peeled half of her banana for her and she apparently wanted “to hode-da-peeeeelz!!!” herself. I needed this
this is funny itself for it’s truthfulness…the comments are funnier for their absurdity
love it!
LOVE IT! I so totally appreciate the stresses of working, and am super thankful that I have a husband who leaves for work each day with a smile on his face. This list however, made me chuckle!
All of these “stresses” are experienced by moms who also work outside the home, or even dads work outside the home. I don’t get SAHMs who think that they’re the only people who have to deal with the stresses of having kids. Working parents deal with their kids AND their work stresses. Stop acting like they don’t even have children.
As a mom everything you said describes my life with my kids. I am also a work out of home mom but I am not offended by this article. I think WOHP forget that from 6pm to 9 am (give or take) this is what our life is like. For SAHP this is what their life is like 24/7. During the day sure I have to deal with coworkers that drive me up the wall and bosses who want to make me pull my hair out. But I still get to go to the bathroom by myself (apparently me using the restroom is only exciting for my kids no everyone else) or go to the store on my lunch break. I don’t have to be an octopus with 8 arms going every which way. I get to turn off my mom mode and sit and do my work. Work is very stressful but so is being a mom. I appreciate every minute I am not with my kids but I also appreciate every minute I am with my kids. I know that I work during the day but it is nothing compared to the work I do when I get home. But then again outside work is nowhere near as rewarding as being a mom.
Actually, my current stay at home gig IS remarkably like my in-house corporate job. That boss was good training for having a 2 year old.
Most ridiculous part of this article is the author has “6 pairs of church shoes”
Doesn’t your husband ever take care of his children? If he did, I’m sure he’d understand the stress of being a parent. And, that is what it is, the stress of being a parent, whether you work or not has nothing to do with it.
This is so good! I am not a SAHM but I can relate to this- in fact I think you just need to be a mother to relate. The problem is that when you are a working mother you have double stress, stress at work AND the same crazy stuff at home, and after you deal with the toddler realm you fire up your laptop at 10pm and do more work!
I’m too busy laughing and crying at this article to read all of the jerky comments others are making. I work out of the home part time, and stay home part time. As a parent, I “work” from the time I get up to the time I go to sleep. The content of the work changes from day to day, but it’s all a lot of work. When you spend years on an education and a clinical career, the downshifting to poop-management can be a bit demoralizing at times. I’m very thankful I have time with my girls, and very thankful I get a few days a week to talk to grownups and think about things other than potty training and nap schedules. Both jobs are demanding, rewarding, and frustrating in their own ways.
Heather, thanks for the funny article. Your questionnaire is spot-on in my world!
(and I think you should have as many pairs of church shoes as you’d like)
This is a great article, Heather. Very funny too! It is a topic that is obviously discussed by many. My sister, mother of 3, loves being home with her children and also felt that she was on break when at work as Supervisor of an ER at a hospital. There are those friends who are totally underestimated as SAHMs. The first thing that caught my attention is the title of this article. Stay-At-Home is a working parent!
What gets me…this is the choice you make. If you are that unhappy with the choice you’ve made, make a new one. I’m not saying parenting isn’t difficult, stressful and challenging, with ups and downs. It’s a choice that you made. My stresses are no less valid and substantial because I’ve made different choices.
This was a cute article. What I think some of the commentators are reacting to is the fact that Stay At Home Moms complain a lot (the author isn’t doing that though, I think its just funny). Maybe Moms in general just complain a lot. It’s a hard road, sure, but healthy children are such a blessing. My sister has been in the hospital for months with her formerly healthy but now very ill son and she hardly ever complains. The thing is, complaining is a luxury afforded to people whose lives are really good. When your child’s life is on the line, suddenly the “difficulties” of normal life is what you so desperately want back. You don’t have room to complain because you are desparate to hold on. Please remember the next time that you think its difficult to come home and deal with your kids, how very fortunate you are that your children can talk to you and run around and grab you. There is a universe of parents who would lay down their life so that their child could do these things.
As a self-employed mom who works from a home office, I indeed do encounter all of these situations while I’m “in the office” all the time. Cute blog post, very funny and very true. To those (on both sides of the working parent / SAHM) who find the post offensive, I say, take a deep breath and step back. Again, as someone who’s experienced the best and worst of both worlds, I can honestly say that both have their stresses, and neither is easier / harder than the other – just different. I will say, however, that working parents do have to deal with BOTH types of stresses (albeit usually not at the same moment), while stay at home parents only have the one type. Every parent is due enormous credit for the incredibly hard job of parenting. But those who have to work a job as well are due some extra slack and understanding, and certainly not the negative comments or connotations that some stay at home parents put upon them. It’s hard enough being the best parent you can be when that’s all you’re focusing on – imagine trying to do it while you’re also having to focus on delivering for your job or career.
After being a SAHM and a WOHM, I can laugh at all of this. And yes, I did need to find a new job when some of these things happened in an office!
Some of that behavior isn’t acceptable for a coworker or a child. My kids do not shove me or scream at me or beat my keyboard. And they’re 3 and 7. We don’t tolerate that kind of behavior, never have. I really hope you’re just using those for comedic affect. Otherwise you should probably rethink your discipline plan.
I’ve been a SAHM and a mother who works outside of the house and while reading this whole thing, I couldn’t help but agree with Kello. I really hope you were just trying to be funny, because I could not picture my son every thinking ANY of those things are okay to do. I think I would lose my mind if my child was that out of control, and this is coming from the mother a five year old boy who is ADHD. It sounds less like the stresses of an average SAHM and more the like the complaints of a woman who has lost control of her children.
I am a SAHM of 21 mo. bo/girl twins. I laughed so hard I cried! Oh thank you! This is brilliant. I am sharing with all my family who think they have it as tough or tougher!
Omgoodness, I my face hurts from laughing! This is excellent.
I am surprised that anyone could fail to see the humor in this piece and comment on it in any judgmental and/or serious manner. Hilarious! And my well behaved children have done most of these things at one point or another because they are children and act out from time to time.
Great Article!! I am not a stay at home mom. But the point is not to say that we don’t have the same stresses! The point is to say that SAHMs are not just relaxing all the day and have an easy stress free life because they just have to look after the kids! Which is what a lot of men and working moms think! If you are stressed out by your kids only on mornings or evenings, think of dealing with it ALL day! Loved it, brought a smile to my face
Sadly, the behaviors in several of these examples is very similar to that of couple of my co-works and my boss!
Oh my! I am laughing so hard I am crying. Is it just that I am too tired and happened to have one of those days with too many toddler meltdowns, diaper changes and timeouts? Very funny. Thank you!
Very funny! Pretty much sums up my day! But I guess that means that I am a horrible mom and my kids are out of control according to Kello and Cartersmommie. I am so glad that the world has perfect parents like you to tell the rest of us what a terrible job we are doing.
And I never once saw anything mentioned in this article about SAHMs having a harder job. She said that the stresses were DIFFERENT.
Stay at home parents face the same stresses that the rest of us working parents have to face at the end of a long day at the office. So no, I don’t really sympathize.
I work at a treatment center for mentally disturbed children and teens, so YES, I do have days like this at work!
this was cute… I work as a psw/pca in a long term care facility and at a local hospital… funny thing for me is I get to go to my work.. clean feces and settle arguments/fights between the dementia patients or those patients who dont like the hospital food and refuse to eat and sulk WHILE 8 MONTHS PREGNANT!!! LOL.. then i get to come home to my 16 month old and its like a mini version of what i dealt with all day… only perk is that i made that bum i clean at home hahaha… i dont think you need to be a STHM or a working mom to feel under apprecitated or stressed out… either way a job needs to be done. we all have our good days and our bad days. cheers!
sooo true, but don’t forget the one about peaceful quiet moments in the building being more a cause of concern/worry than a source of bliss -because then you have to go searching every cubicle to discover what mischief your coworkers have gotten into to make them so suspiciously silent (using copy paper to stop up the toilet, painting whiteout pictures on the computer monitor, or covering the whole door with sticky notes)
too funny
Why, why, why do people want to continue to fan the flames between stay-at-home moms and working moms? Can’t we just agree that we choose our own path, each has its challenges, and move on?
loved it, at the end of the day, both types still have to deal with the same thing. maybe different levels depending on kids age and stuff, but still in and out the home is crazy!!!!….the realistic thing is that no matter what….no matter if we complain….feel beat…we love it…its a part of us…so power to all mothers!…by the way …i am a SAHM and go to school online doing temp jobs
I don’t think this has anything to do with working moms. I think it’s more about the differences between a SAHM’s day and her husband’s day. It’s all in good fun!
Your all being silly she’s talking about the differences between a SAHM and her husband. Dummy’s!
LOL!! Omg. I laughed while reading this to myself. I then tried to read this aloud to my husband and tera streaming down my face I was lauging so hard! It has sooo been one of those days.
that was hilarious. i’m glad kello and cartersmommy have perfect children; good for them. those were really snarky comments to make.
Loved this!!!! So hilarious!
So true! I love it.
Loved this – classic SAHM (or SAHD) experiences!
Ya, I really don’t think there should or could be a comparison to what work is like in reference to home and office and I’m super sick of titles for Mothers and Fathers. I’m a MOM…period..and whether I’m at work or school we come home to the same thing in addition to having to worry about our k
ids while we are at work trying to help our family survive.
How about a list for the SAH working parents? Now there is an interesting day! I can only speak for myself, but working from home with the kids (ages 3 and 5 and one on the way) is quite a funny challenge at times. And I thought I could multi-task before!
I am recently a SAHM and I will tell you the constant things we have to do are enough to drive any person up a wall. I love my children and that is why I love being a SAHM even more. They do drive me batty and one question you forgot is ” At any point when you happen to be in the middle of an important phone call there comes a blood curddling scream followed by A HEARD OF PEOPLE all talking at once that causes the rapid apology followed by I will call you back and hanging up the phone without waiting for an answer?
This is beyond hilarious! I hope they make You-Tube videos for each question.
I am a stay at home working mom. I run a daycare and I can tell you that it is one of the most rewarding, yet challenging jobs. I am able to spend the day with my child while bringing in income to help support my family. I agree with other posters that this article was made to help working spouses understand what stay at home parents go through. On several occasions, my husband has said to me, “well why didn’t you get the laundry done? You’ve been home all day.” Not only am I taking care of our child by myself from the time he leaves for work, I’m taking care of 5 other children at the same time! Not all parents discipline the same, so I deal with a lot of the described incidents from this article from other peoples children! Some days, I wish I worked outside of the home just so I could have a little adult interaction through out the day. I think the women who are lashing out about this article are just jealous that they don’t get to spend as much time with their kids as they would like. Not everyone has the option to stay at home all day with their kids. I also understand that a mom is a mom and her duties are the same whether she works outside of the home or not. Working parents still have their kids to get ready in the mornings, in the evenings and on the weekends. This isn’t a debate on who has the harder “job”. I would totally read this to my husband because I just don’t think he gets what it’s like to be with the kids 24/7 and or running a home daycare!
Loved this!
Oh, my I so loved this!! Every stay at home parent has experienced any (or all) of the above at some point. And it isn’t just with toddlers; I’m still having to settle disagreements, find things, fix things, hug away tears, bandage up boo boos, all that parent stuff, and both my kids are now in school (otherwise how would have been able to read the whole article?)
I thought this article was hysterical!! It is sad to see some of the more serious, negative comments. This is a satirical look at the differences between those parents who work outside the home and those who stay home with the kids. It is not an outlet for the author to vent her complaints. And, these behaviors are not present every day, all day. As for those who would not put up with such behavior, all I can say is your children are not perfect and have probably done some of these things….just pay closer attention.
awesome! funny! soo true! I can say staying at home is wonderful and trying.I love my kids(2,6,9). They can be a handful. But, their halos hold up their horns!
Borrowing from the fisherman’s saying… “A bad day with the kids is still better than a good day in the office” I’m just glad I got to be a SAHD as much as I did when the kids were younger.
I’d like to know how the two year old children fall off desks, get lost in the house, and have to scream at the top of their lungs to locate their mother.
Hilarious but I would much rather be home with my kids than in the office.
I have worked in an office and am currently a SAH mom. I left the office to care for my autistic son. I see value in both venues. I miss work, adult conversations and full thoughts. When at work, I missed my children fiercely. I have even been the SAH working mom which should be the best of both worlds but is really the worst. I believe we need to respect everyone for their own unique situations. Although, I would like to go to the bathroom without a shadow . . .
Maurene, doesnt have children, only has one or two or only spends three hours a day with them..lol
SAHM here & my husband works. I chose to quit my job 12 years ago when my daughter was born mostly because I wanted to raise my daughter my way & have all the time I could with her while she was young AND because I was raised by a single mom & was shuffled from one bad daycare to another growing up & that has made me untrusting of daycare. I know there are good daycares out there & I applaud them. I’ve also done part-time daycare in my home for family & friends. But pre-kiddo, I was in the work force. I would rather change diapers & cleanup after kids all day then be out there in the workforce. When something doesn’t go right at home, when there’s stress…at least I’m dealing with my kid that I love (and hopefully helping them grow & learn) not with some c0-worker…of which most of them I didn’t like anyway. Kids do these things because they are kids & still learning. I’ll also take a kid who goes “MOm Mom MOM” all day…over a backstabbing co-worker. And as a SAHM I have to & will gladly give the kudos to working moms/parents who have to deal with both, they truly have the toughest parenting job. By the time they come at night for time with their children…most likely them & their children are tired (and sometimes cranky) and they get a couple of precious hours where they have to cram in dinner, homework & baths, etc. I know I couldn’t do it. I will also say that most of these things mentioned in this article have not been tolerated in my home either. Sure there have been instances when my child or the child I cared for have misbehaved but not on a regular basis…and you correct it, you just don’t go oh well & them let them continue to run around like monkeys…that’s probably why it keeps happening. As a SAHM, I have found ways to have “ME” time as well.
Hilarious! I agree with Have a Sense of Humor. I don’t like the negative comments I read. We all do the best we can, whether that is working outside the home or being a SAHM or SAHD. People need to stop being so judgy.
My response would have been, “yeah, when I come home from work” to all of these questions. “Questions to help bridge the communication gap” makes this sound demeaning…. Stay-at-home vs. working parents… why is this a battle of some kind? When you chose to be a SAHP, what did you expect? How about when you chose to have children, what would you expect to come home to after work? When you make the choice to become a parent, these are the stresses to be expected – working or not. I see the humor in the article. I thought it was cute. But I’d much rather spend my days with the kids, even if it includes all these “stresses” because my unconditional love for my child would make it a much more pleasurable experience than if I had to take care of someone else – so I see no “questions to help bridge the communication gap.” But all of the commenters need to realize working parents have the same struggles – they just have to have other stresses at a job to add to the stress of being a parent.
I’ve done both, worked and stayed home. Both are stressful but in different ways. I think the article is cute and funny, especially when posed as a conversation between two parents, one working and one not. But, I have to say that if you’re the working parent you have stresses that the non-working parent doesn’t have like wondering what you’re missing out on and also keeping your job in this lousy economy. I know my husband is so stressed about doing a good job providing for us and about being there enough for our kids now that we’ve made the shift to me staying home. Before we had that buffer of both having jobs and both sharing responsibilities for the daily care of our kids. There is no better way and there is no better person. Issues of work, domestic responsibilities, and raising kids should be cooperative, not competitive.
Hilarious!!! And for those taking this too seriously, chill.
When I was a stay at home mom, we spent our days playing at the park, or visiting friends, or doing gloriously messy, glittery art projects at the kitchen table. On rainy days we could stay indoors in our pajamas and finger paint or bake cookies if we wanted, or make the trek out to tiny tot gym or dance class. No deadlines, no boss criticizing my methods or staff making mistakes. Frankly, it was a cakewalk compared to working my “real” job!
No need to be mean Dana. I am a SAHM with 5 children and I totally agree with Maurene. That house does sound a little out of control. Having fun does not mean (as another person said) kids can run around like monkeys every day. The article was funny, but in no way close to reality. I would take being a SAHM over going back out to my old high stress upper management job any day.
Loved this and appreciated the humor in it. It’s sad that some people can’t take it as it was meant – as entertaiment. They sure must be fun at a party. Woo. BTW, how’s your cell getting in the fridge??!!! LOL.
I stayed at home for seven years with 4 young kids and am now work full-time (single mom). The hardest part of staying home was the “not completing a thought all day,” and the hardest part of working is missing them during the day but also using so much mental energy at work and feeling depleted by 5pm, only to feel so much guilt at missing out on most of their day and trying to make up for it. It’s tough!
And I will say I do get irritated at some of my sahm friends when they complain about yogurt or disgruntled toddlers when I would give anything to see my kiddos for more than 20 minutes rushing out in the morning!!
But this truly is humorous – thanks for the laughs!
As a current SAHM and former office worker… well said!!! Love the humour.
Oh, this is just too funny! Thanks Tami for posting it!
This was too funny and oh so true. I’m forwarding to my husband immediately. Thanks for posting it!
Although it’s funny har har, I have to over-analyze it and point out that many working mom’s WISH that dealing with their own children were their only ‘frustrations’ of the days. Working mom’s have to deal with all the bull crap from work and then still come home at the end of the day and do all the same things with their children that SAHM’s do. So it’s pretty much double duty if you think about it.
Sure, working mom’s get that “break” and adult interaction, but I could write an equally sarcastic list of questions about how many SAHM’s have to worry about a boss breathing down their necks about deadlines and the cut-throat battle for the ONE promotion position that’s open. Or how many SAHM’s have to spend all day at work worrying about their children and then when they get home, spend all evening worrying about what they didn’t get done at work and will have to make up for tomorrow. Or how many SAHM have to hide in the bathroom for a few minutes and cry because they so desperately miss their children and hate that they have to drop them off with other care providers everyday. The list can go on equally as long.
I’ve always hated the pissing contest that working parents and SAHP like to have. The whole “who has it harder” nonsense. Working parents or stay-at-home parents, whichever a couple decides is best for their family or whatever they have to do to provide for their family, both have their difficulties and frustrations.
I totally agree with Glenna. Well said.
Love this!
Now if I could only place a grievance with the union when my child refuses to be a team player and is critical of all their ‘co workers’
I think someone should do a skit where a actual office acts the way our children do. Funny right?
I’m just so tired of “kept” women complaining about not having to work. I use my VACATION days to spend the kind of quality time with my kids that u get every day. Really. Working parents need to get over the guilt and stop entertaining the idea that stay at home parents aren’t getting the best deal.
Loved it!
This was such a cute article! It was funny, and it gave a great perspective. I’m so surprised by the negative reactions. Why the venom???
my best friend’s mom makes $77 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7487 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here NuttyRich.com
“My job is harder!” “NO! MY JOB IS HARDER” “NO MINE IS!” How about sahm, working dads, sahd’s, and working moms sound like their two year olds with this argument. I, personally, am just a mom trying to do my best. You guys can continue to fight for the non existant award for best mommy ever. Life is hard, full of bumps,tough times, and tears,regardless of whether or not you have zero children, one child or ten. It’s tough for the working mom, the sahm, and the people who decide not to have children. Everyone’s plate is full but full of different obsticles and problems. Okaaaaaay? so quit the comparisons.
here here Teresa Kelly!
I’m a teacher in a low income school so YES to most of the questions. I think to make a contest of it is a terrible idea. If you are a SAHM you will never understand being a working mom. As a teacher I have unpaid leave during the summer so I know working mom life and SAHM life. If at home, you start to feel weird when you’re mental background music is “Monster in the Mirror” and you’re covered in formula and dried smashed carrots. Working, however, is very hard. You can’t keep hold of the house unles you’re killing yourself doing it. You have to take time away from your children when you’re forced to take work home. I guess office jobs have the clean and civilized things going for them. I don’t have that – teaching rocks, but again, it’s like I’m a SAHM to 20 kids at a time.
This is very funny!!! I enjoyed every word of this article. Thanks for writing it.
Wow, these negative comments are completely rediculous. I am a working mom of two children and this still does not anger me. I found it rather amusing, as it was meant to be. If all of you complainers are so upset because you dont get to spend as much time with your kids as a SAHM, then maybe you shouldn’t be online reading meaningless blogs. Just sayin’…….
I would take staying home with my 4 year old over working in the office all day anytime. Unfortunately, we don’t have the income like others to make that work. I am lucky if my husband and I can talk for 15 minutes at the end of the day because it is work all day, shuffle from preschool and all of the mom duties at home. There is no comparison, the two jobs are very different. I have done both and being a SAHM was so much better for me and less stressful.
OMG LADIES! This article was supposed to be all in good humor. I went from 8 years active duty military to a SAHM. Both were/are difficult in their own ways. Besides you are being too sensitive. This was not an attack or an extension of the mom wars. It was a humorous article. I think the ones who are mad have guilt. I do also from being away working so long from my children and now since I don’t work I can’t do for them like I used to. But, I’m not mad, I’m laughing because it was funny.
Pooh on all the negative comments. You have me rolling and wiping tears of laughter away. So true!
This article is really misleading. This isn’t a comparison of working and stay-at-home moms, it’s just a woman complaining about her life. I’m a writer and I work from home part-time but I’m always there for my kids and I love all these moments of my day. If this woman is complaining this much, she’s obviously not ready for kids.
I’m really surprised at all the negative comments. That being said, there is a laundry list on both sides of positives and negatives. Everyone has frustrations, and everyone has the right to vent them, and even make fun of them. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
The idea that SAHM’s don’t know what it’s like in the workplace is an unfair assumption as myself and MANY others “did our time” working until our children were born, or in my case working until I had my second child. I know both roads – and I’ll tell ya, being a SAHM is MUCH easier, but it doesn’t mean I’m less frustrated or deserve less. The idea also that SAHM’s are “KEPT” women is also, honestly, MADDENING. MANY of us give up luxuries like tanning, getting mani pedi’s, massages, buying brand name food and eating out JUST so we CAN BE SAHM’s. There are sacrifices made on both sides. And the arguments are just plain ridiculous.
All that said, *I* can tell that this article was meant to be humorous. But others of you obviously have no clue as to what humor even is.
Seriously, all you negative pooh-poohers need to lighten up. I went from being a DOD contractor in Iraq to SAHD, and I’ll tell you that while less dangerous, and POSSIBLY less difficult, this job is much more stressful. I have an emotionally volatile 3 year old, who finds that the littlest thing (like not being the one to open the door that we’re going through) is cause for an end-of-the-world crying jag, and a 1 year old that has just discovered that screaming is her favourite thing to do in the entire world.
Some days they’re great and easy, but more often than not they’re a nerve-jangling duo that conspire to have overlapping fits of hysteria.
I know they do this deliberately because children that young are more devious than any politician you’ll ever meet.
The point of this article was to poke fun at the foibles that one encounters in a day of stay-at-home parenting, and to say that our stresses are real and valid.
Sometimes my wife forgets that, but she quickly remembers on those rare week-end days that I get to be away. After describing what to me is a typical day with the girls, she often says “I really DON’T know how you can do this five days a week.”
I usually smile and say “Booze. I give them lots of booze.”
Life is hard. Don’t discount those that have a different set of circumstances just because we THINK we could do better in that situation.
Love the article. Love the spirit in which it was written. Most people have worked outside the home at some point in their lives. (Very few people who are “play-at-home” parents are actually “kept.”) Most of us know the headaches and drama that come in an office environment and know the different headaches and drama that come with hanging out with our munchkins all day. Most of us wouldn’t trade it for anything. I used to get a paycheck with dollars and cents. Now I get paid in giggles and spit-up. I loved working in corporate America. But I also know I have the best job in the world now. The biggest difference to me is that one job lasts approximately eight hours per day. The other one is 24/7. I think nothing poorly of working parents. Heck, my husband works! He’s an amazing father. But he readily admits that I have a much more difficult job. And I am so blessed that he’s willing to work and has a good enough job that, with prioritizing and sacrificing, I can be a “play-at-home” mommy.
I think in my opinion that this isn’t a pissing contest but more of a way for some to understand that we are just as drained when our spouses come home as they are!! The fact that it’s being taken as a pissing contest only tells me that you DO compare your day to SAHers!! I really resent being called KEPT!!!!! I’m pretty sure that the decision to have kids and how we would provide for them and care for them was discussed before they were born! This article was meant to be funny!! I think that how much needs to be done in the run of a day, no matter if your home or work outside of the home, still doesn’t change and I often find myself doing house chores at night after everyone is in bed and I can get a full chore done without being interrupted! A working parent or SAHP’s work is never done and sometimes that is forgotten because SAHP parents are home all day, so why can’t you get the laundry, floors, bathrooms, etc…………. done in the daytime?? Well this funny article makes light of how demanding and rewarding at the same time, a SAHP’s job can be!! That’s all!! I am thankful everyday that my husband and I are able to sacrifice and do whatever it takes so that I can be home with our kids. I work hard everyday to make everyone including myself happy and that in itself is a very hard job
When you walked into work this morning and pleasantly greeted your co-worker Jim, was his first reaction to scream NO! WANT JASON!” followed by an office supply being thrown at you?
2. When you woke up this morning did you rush around making yourself look presentable and professional, waking up the kids, making them breakfast, getting them dressed and out the door by 7:30 so that you can make your 9 am meeting with Regis and Kelly?!?
3. Has a colleague ever climbed up on your lap while you were using your computer and slammed the keyboard with both fists until the up arrow no longer worked?
4. Has a fellow SAHM ever come over to your house and you politely had to tell her that youre in the middle of chore that has to be completed by noon and that you would have to get back to her later?
5. Do you have to lock yourself in the supply closet or bathroom on a regular basis in order to make phone calls?
Do you ever have to put up stop signs and ignore incoming calls because you have to get dinner done by the deadline or your husband will be really ticked and will dock your shopping allowance?!?
6. Did you finish a complete thought at any time during the day?
Did you ever finish a house project only to have your husband come home to tell you he wanted it done a totally different way by the end of the day or hell dock your shopping allowance?!?
7. When you went out to lunch with your fellow workers, did you have to pack a diaper/juice/extra outfit for them? Did you have to wipe their faces? Smile an apology and leave an extra tip for the waiter on their behalf?
When you went out to lunch with your fellow SAHMs, did you ever have to inhale your meal or had to apologize for getting testy with the wait staff when your meal didnt come out quickly enough to make the Dr Phil show?!?
8. When a co-worker needed you for something, did she sit at her desk with her head tilted back toward the ceiling and repeatedly scream SEAN! SEEEEANNNN! SEAAAAAAN! until you came to find him?
When your child needs you for something do you drop everything youre doing and go to him because if you didnt he could write you up for insubordination and your shopping allowance could suffer?
9. When you needed a specific colleague, did you search all over for him, only to finally find him giggling in the cabinet under the sink? Did you also find six pairs of your church shoes under there with him?
When you needed help with completing a house project, and you found that everyone you knew was busy working on their own project, did you sweat your buns off because you knew that if you didnt meet the deadline your shopping allowance would get docked?
10. Have you had to come to an associates aid because she fell off her desk after trying to climb on top of it using a rolling chair?
Have you ever had to attend a safety stand down meeting that totally jeopardized your chore deadlines because one of your children or fellow SAHMs fell off a rotating object?
11. When you reached for the report a co-worker was handing you, did he snatch them away at the last second and scream MINE! while shoving you backwards?
When you finally got some help to complete your scrapbooking project, was that person snatched right back because another hot scrapbooking project needed attention?
12. Does your colleague lift up her shirt and pick things out of her belly button every time she comes over to ask a question?
Do your kids ever make an inappropriate gesture and you pull them to the side and tell them that it is inappropriate behavior for the house environment, but for the rest of the day youre stressed by this nagging voice that says YOU SHOULD HAVE REPORTED IT!
13. While you are using the restroom, do various co-workers come in the stall and ask you to settle a disagreement or open a packet of fruit snacks?
Have you ever walked in a restroom after one of your children totally blew it up, but you have no choice but to suck it up and vomit in your mouth because taking that extra 1 minute it would take to walk over to other bathroom means docking your allowance?!?
1. When you woke up this morning did you rush around making yourself look presentable and professional, waking up the kids, making them breakfast, getting them dressed and out the door by 7:30 so that you can make your 9 am meeting with Regis and Kelly?!?
3.
4. 2. Has a fellow SAHM ever come over to your house and you politely had to tell her that youre in the middle of chore that has to be completed by noon and that you would have to get back to her!
3. Do you ever have to put up stop signs and ignore incoming calls because you have to get dinner done by the deadline or your husband will be really ticked and will dock your shopping allowance?!?
6.
4. Did you ever finish a house project only to have your husband come home to tell you he wanted it done a totally different way by the end of the day or hell dock your shopping allowance?!?
5. When you went out to lunch with your fellow SAHMs, did you ever have to inhale your meal or had to apologize for getting testy with the wait staff when your meal didnt come out quickly enough to make the Dr Phil show?!?
8.
6. When your child needs you for something do you drop everything youre doing and go to him because if you didnt he could write you up for insubordination and your shopping allowance could suffer.
7. When you needed help with completing a house project, and you found that everyone you knew was busy working on their own project, did you sweat your buns off because you knew that if you didnt meet the deadline your shopping allowance would get docked?
10.
8. Have you ever had to attend a safety stand down meeting that totally jeopardized your chore deadlines because one of your children or fellow SAHMs fell off a rotating object?
11.
9. When you finally got some help to complete your scrapbooking project, was that person snatched right back because another hot scrapbooking project needed attention?
10. Do your kids ever make an inappropriate gesture and you pull them to the side and tell them that it is inappropriate behavior for the house environment, but for the rest of the day youre stressed by this nagging voice that says YOU SHOULD HAVE REPORTED IT!
11. Have you ever walked in a restroom after one of your children totally blew it up, but you have no choice but to suck it up and vomit in your mouth because taking that extra 1 minute it would take to walk over to other bathroom means docking your allowance?!?
Better formatted version, I think..
Hands down working parents have it harder! I remember reading that a SAHM should be making a 6 figure salary for all the roles she has to play. Well, working mom’s have it worse and I don’t care what anyone has to say. When you throw a boss into the mix, you have a whole other issue to deal with and not just your kids.
Hands down working parents have it harder! I remember reading that a SAHM should be making a 6 figure salary for all the roles she has to play. Well, working mom’s have it worse and I don’t care what anyone has to say. When you throw a boss into the mix, you have a whole other issue to deal with and not just your kids.
Hands down working parents have it harder! I remember reading that a SAHM should be making a 6 figure salary for all the roles she has to play. Well, working mom’s have it worse and I don’t care what anyone has to say. When you throw a boss into the mix, you have a whole other issue to deal with and not just your kids.