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Toddler Taxes

By marylweimer |

Taxes As tax day approaches, I’m sure many of you are scrambling to get your tax documents in order.

Maybe you’ve been saving your receipts in a shoebox all year. Or, if you’re like my husband, you’ve meticulously scanned and sorted them individually by category, date, and amount, then filed them on the computer to be backed up monthly.

Just kidding. Well, mostly.

Anyway, now that tax season is upon us I’ve been considering how nice it would be if the parents of toddlers were given special deductions, to, you know, offset some of our pain and suffering.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were granted some kind of special toddler taxes? Now I’m no accountant, but I have some ideas for boosting the parental economy. Let’s all call our congresspeople and suggest the following ideas:

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Toddler Taxes

Terrible Twos Clause

During the tax year that your child is two, you'd be eligible for compensation related to injuries incurred, gray hairs grown, and sleepless nights due to the switch to the toddler bed.
Photo Credit: StarMama/Flickr

What are your fantasy tax credits? Leave ‘em in the comments!

Top Photo Credit: John Morgan/Flickr

Mary Lauren Weimer is a social worker turned mother turned writer. Her blog, My 3 Little Birds, encourages moms to put down the baby books for a moment and tell their own stories. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

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About marylweimer



Mary Lauren Weimer is a freelance writer and blogger. Her work has appeared in such places as Spirituality & Health and The Huffington Post, and she’s known for her thoughtful and introspective writing about all aspects of motherhood and the parent-child relationship.

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0 thoughts on “Toddler Taxes

  1. Joanna says:

    I would like to see the government put their money where their mouth is:

    A childcare/breastfeeding credit that would have allowed me to stay home for the first year.

    While I was able to pump and breastfeed for 13 months, there was no way I could do it without supplementation after around 6 months. Maybe the gov’t could save some money on WIC & the childcare credit by doing this, and it would be better for children and mom’s than having free formula and a reduction in the amount you pay for infant care.

    Just sayin’

    Disclaimer – I in NO way am against formula or daycare. I use(d) them both. But I would have liked more choices, and think most women would want the same. With our current system, there are much fewer choices than people would like to believe.

  2. marylweimer says:

    I have always marveled at the maternity leave in some countries that allows for a year at home with your baby. Wouldn’t that be wonderful for so many parents?

  3. Patrick Brown says:

    Great article filled with hilarious photos and interesting ideas!

  4. AmberDoty says:

    Mary Lauren, you and this article are my favorite.

  5. Sandra Flagg says:

    I could add a few to your list but why not start here and see what you can get . it’s a great idea and who knows as crazy as things are someone could think you’re not kidding.As always I enjoy your perspective and since of humor. you know I have been single,married,a young working and a stay at home Mom,a divorced single parent,and working and stay available grandparent and on all of those levels I can relate to your posts. Our positions in life don’t change so much ,they simply shift around. So go for those tax credits and any other benefits you can get!

  6. Barbara VH says:

    The Caillou Clause made me LOL. That show is the worst and parents really do deserve some credit for being forced to sit through awful children’s programming. It’s time the government acknowledged what we go through!

    Very cute post.

  7. Allie says:

    I so agree with the first comment on breastfeeding. Seriously, this would be a great way to help compensate mothers. I also think that any year you are pregnant, whether your child is born that year or not, you should be given the child credit. Afterall, even though they are not born, you are spending so much on them. I was lucky and my child was born on December 31, so I did get to claim her all year even though she was only born three hours before the new year. That was better than having the first baby of the new year by far.

  8. Meghan Pleska says:

    As the parent of a two year old, could not agree with you more (especially the wine part)! Hilarious!

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