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Weird Things My Toddler Said This Week: Volume I

Weird Things Toddlers SayToddler is this magical age where nothing quite makes sense. Toddlers still don’t fully understand how the world works, and parents have yet to figure out anything consistent about toddlers. I’m essentially in the danger zone of parenting. Personal or embarrassing things that go on at home are just as likely to come up in conversation with Vivi outside the home as they are in it. I’ve decided to start chronicling these sayings and events because as awkward as they can be, they’re funny. And on the worst days, funny is the only thing that keeps me from finding that child a new family. Here’s a few of the gems my toddler said this week:

• Monday morning at breakfast Vivi turned to me and said, “The dark one is coming, mom,” in a very serious voice. Still not sure if we’re talking about Voldemort, the UPS truck v. the FedEx truck or some other sinister creature. I’ve been on high alert all week.

• I was editing boudoir photos one afternoon when Vivi sat down by me, looked at my screen, laughed and said “She’s naked! SO AM I!” then ran off.

• I was getting out of the shower and drying off when Vivi pointed at my chest and said, “So, those are your udders?

• When choosing out a little Valentine’s treat to give to her dad, Vivi said, “I would like to give dad dinosaurs.” Rather than keeping it a secret she shouted “DAD! WE GOT YOU DINOSAURS!” as soon as she saw him. Let this be a lesson, toddlers are terrible secret keepers.

• I took Vivi to the grocery store and as we were looking for bubble bath, Vivi found the aisle of feminine care products. She ran down it, opened her arms and screamed “LOOK MOM! YOUR DIAPERS!

I was picking up prescriptions from the pharmacy as my entire family had been rendered useless by the stomach flu. Vivi was wearing a snap-up shirt and standing just behind me at the pharmacy counter. By the time I had finished paying for my prescriptions, Vivi was half naked and very proud of herself for figuring out her snaps.

Nudity seems to have been the theme for the week. My guess is nudity will play a part in every round up. Toddlers, man.

Find more of Casey’s writing on her blog moosh in indy or her Babble Voices site Shutterlovely. She’s also available on twitter, facebook, flickr and Instagram. If you can’t find her any of those places? Check the couch, she’s probably taking a nap.

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