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What Would Happen If a Toddler Ran the House?

The day I found my naked son sneaking into the pantry for marshmallows I laughed (and fought the urge to take a picture). When I asked him what he was doing, he nonchalantly replied, “Getting breakfast!” in a tone that suggested I was the crazy one.

Toddlers are the funniest (and bossiest) little people ever and as much as they’d like to think they call the shots, it’s up to us to protect them from all the crazy they’re capable of producing.

Since our tots already think they’re in charge, I got to thinking:

What would actually happen if our toddlers ran the house? ::shudder::

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  • We would deal with every emotion by crying 1 of 15
    We would deal with every emotion by crying
    Bad day? Cry. Hungry? Cry. Tired? Cry. Commercial? Cry. Hangnail? Cry. Meat touching the veggies? Cry.
  • We would get really dirty, and stay that way 2 of 15
    We would get really dirty, and stay that way
    Mud pies, food fights and fingerpaint. If you can touch it, smear it, or create with it - you can surely wear it.
  • All TV, all the time 3 of 15
    All TV, all the time
    We would watch TV morning, noon and night (we'd even have TV's in the bathroom).
  • We’d always be in trouble 4 of 15
    We'd always be in trouble
    Tots get mad pretty easily and unless we're letting them win, allowing them to go first and giving into every demand - we can expect to be in trouble.
  • We would need earplugs 5 of 15
    We would need earplugs
    Tots not only like to make demands, they like to voice them...LOUDLY and often and LOUDLY. Did I mention loudly?
  • We would be nasty sick 6 of 15
    We would be nasty sick
    Noses are for picking and hands are for touching, eww.
  • Beds would be for jumping, and only jumping 7 of 15
    Beds would be for jumping, and only jumping
    Nap? Puhleese. Bed time? As if! Beds would be nothing but a soft place to land.
  • We would have candy for dinner followed by dessert 8 of 15
    We would have candy for dinner followed by dessert
    Sugar high; watch 'em fly!
  • Bugs would be brought INTO the house 9 of 15
    Bugs would be brought INTO the house
    Prepare to cohabitate with plenty of 6+ legged friends.
  • We would look like mummies 10 of 15
    We would look like mummies
    Whether we needed them or not, we'd be covered in bandaids (but not these boring ones, the cartoon kind).
  • We would punch, hit, kick and bite to get our way 11 of 15
    We would punch, hit, kick and bite to get our way
    Talking it over? I don't think so.
  • Clothing would be optional 12 of 15
    Clothing would be optional
    Buckles, snaps, tags and zippers? No way! Tots prefer a more natural way of living.
  • There would be plenty of balloons. 13 of 15
    There would be plenty of balloons.
    All colors, all sizes; all fun.
  • Unorganized much? 14 of 15
    Unorganized much?
    Good luck ever finding a matching pair of shoes or your cell phone. They likely found their way to the fourth dimension.
  • If we did wear clothes, we’d wear costumes 15 of 15
    If we did wear clothes, we'd wear costumes
    ...and only costumes.

More on Toddler Times:

Never Apologize For the Parent You Are

10 Fabulous Family Fall Activities!

It’s a Toddler’s World

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