In my search for toddler swimwear yesterday, I came across tons of cute stuff. I also came across a lot of suits that made my jaw drop. We want our toddlers to look cute, and sometimes, making a toddler look like an adult can be downright adorable in a mini-me kind of way. However, in my eyes, when it comes to swimwear, there’s cute and fine, and then there’s crossing the line.
Remember last year’s Abercrombie push-up bikini controversy? While I haven’t found any push-up bras for toddlers, many of the suits I saw were emulating breasts, even though the wearers of the bathing suits wouldn’t have them for a dozen years or so. Some of them weren’t really sexy, just hideously uncomfortable-looking and not pool or beach appropriate. Think Toddlers and Tiaras, instead of sand and surf. The idea of sticking chunky one year-olds in suits like these is comical, but even with my love of comedy, I’d still never do that to my toddler.
Here are some suits I would never let my toddler girl wear. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have one.
Juicy Couture Sailor Babe Halter $85 1 of 8You read that right. Not "baby" halter, "BABE" halter. I can see a Kardashian wearing this in Malibu.
J Crew $49.50 2 of 8While I actually think the top of this suit is pretty modest, I think the bottoms are a bit high cut for a toddler who might also be wearing a swim diaper. That's not cute.
J Crew online
Burberry Bikini $95 3 of 8First of all, the fact that Burberry makes a toddler bikini is kind of comical in itself. Secondly, string bikini for a toddler? Why not just let them go naked?
Shebop/WeeBop Mermaid Swim Diaper $35.95 4 of 8I'm just so overwhelmed by this number, I don't know quite what to say. I mean, there's a sequined fin on the tush??
See it on Swim Outlet
Baby Gap Ruffled Two Piece $29.95 5 of 8This seems more impractical than inappropriate. It reminds me of something on Dancing With The Stars. Don't get me wrong, I love that show, but this seems too spicy salsa for the toddler set.
See it on Gap.com
Kate Mack Flamingo Skirted Two Piece $62 6 of 8
Lands’ End Shirred Ruffle Bodice Knit Denim One Piece $29.00 7 of 8Lands' End is normally known for modest clothing. This bathing suit achieves modesty for an adult, but why the obvious shirred boob emphasis? Do we need to be reminded that the child will one day have breasts?
See it on the Lands' End website
Roxy Angel Hearts Ruffled Bikini $38.00 8 of 8
Tell me, do you agree with my assessments? I’d love to read in the comments.