When Will My Toddler Stop Groping Me?
Nice melons!
We haven’t nursed in over a month. Fuzz doesn’t ask for it anymore. However, he is still clearly obsessed with my anatomy. We’re in a bit of a pattern now where since we’ve arrived in New York, Fuzz can’t won’t fall asleep unless he is on top me, with one hand up my shirt and the other one down my shirt, each one grabbing a different part of boob. Yes, there is nipple involved. While he will accept some adjustment in his hand position, he will not tolerate a full-on removal of his body from mine. Even if I successfully transfer him, he inevitably wakes up between 20 seconds and 20 minutes after I move him, and climbs back into his original position.
This is inconvenient.
Last night, I woke up because I honestly couldn’t breathe deeply enough with a 28lb person on top of me. Occasionally, he adds a twist where he wedges his skull between my chin and my collarbone, making it extra fun for me.
But back to my boobs. It’s not just when he’s falling asleep that Fuzz feels the urge to dive down my blouse, but also when he needs that extra comfort, if I’m holding him on the subway, or in the grocery store, he might pop his hand in there. I’m not sure how to handle this when I’m at the checkout. Do I call attention to it by removing his hand? Do I ignore it?
Interestingly, it’s not just my boobs that Fuzz likes to fondle. This morning I caught him with his hand down my husband’s shirt fondling his hairy chest. My husband, who finally arrived last night, does not have “man-boobs” per se, but he does have pectoral muscles, which I suppose can be plenty to grab onto for his little hands.
I wouldn’t say I mind this behavior, except when it gets painful. Of course in public it is a little strange, much more strange than nursing, for example. I’ve definitely heard of this happening before, but I’m wondering…how long does it last?
Photo via Flickr
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Ummmm…. I stopped nursing 2 years ago and E. Still TRIES… Ugh.
@Laura- THAT is not good news.
I laughed out loud while reading this…I don’t have an answer for you. It’s hysterical that Fuzz is fondling both of his parents…I haven’t heard of that before.
Ha! Too funny. I’m still breastfeeding and love it, but I could certainly do without the twiddling!
I stopped nursing at 2 as well and my little one still does this. ::sigh:: i have no idea when it’s supposed to end.
That is so funny but I would def be so annoyed too. The sleeping?how did you even get in a routine where your toddler wants to sleep on you? Does he have a blanky or a Teddy bear that he can find comfort from, poor kid seems to just get comfort from your boobs.
@Lauren- he got in the habit of doing it to my husband, who thought it was cute at first. Now, we’re kind of stuck with it.
This too shall pass, right??
My 14 month old does this too. Unless she really really won’t sleep I always remove her hand and either hold it while looking into hereyes and talking to her about something else, or give her something else to grab.
My husband and his little brother are VERY far apart in age. I’m not sure how long my MIL breast fed his brother for, but if I had to guess, I’d say a year. We noticed that he’d do the same thing – stick his hand down her shirt, grab a boob, etc. When he was two, we didn’t think anything of it, but as the years went on (and on), it got weird. Oddly, my MIL didn’t even seem to notice he was doing it – though everyone else certainly did. She’d continue to have a conversation with you at the dinner table, completely oblivious to the six-year-old with his hand down her bra! So awkward! One night we were out to dinner at a restaurant and little brother finished eating, got out of his chair, stood behind his mom and shoved his hand in her blouse. My husband finally snapped and told his mom “you can’t let him do that any more!” She looked down and was completely shocked to find his hand in her blouse – but we never saw it happen again. It’s definitely a tricky issue. Your baby (well, not so much, any more) probably misses the comfort of what nursing provided and associates that with the breast. It’s totally understandable on his part, and you don’t want to freak out and make him think there’s something wrong with the human body – or that he did anything wrong. But you do want him to learn to respect other people’s bodies- and your own personal space. I’d probably do what guajolote said and remove the hand, but not make a big deal out of it. Eventually, he should start to understand that what he’s doing isn’t getting him anywhere and seek that comfort in new ways. Good luck!
@Rochelle- very interesting that she didn’t even notice!
Yes, I think the gentle removal in public is definitely a good idea. Hopefully it will stop eventually.
My 5 yr old when she cuddles rubs her hand on my skin, more like top of my cleavage. She did this when she nursed and carried on doing so when we snuggle. I would move your child’s hand; kind of like what you are suppose to do in teaching your child. You are allowing the only option when you say Fuzz won’t fall asleep unless he is on top of you. Snuggle him, rock him, lay down beside him give him other options and again teach him that sleeping on top of you isn`t one of them.
I can soooo relate. My 2 yo daughter does this all the time…especially focusing on the nipples…lol. She will try it when ever she can where ever we might be. She also does it to my hubby though which I think is even funnier. We have some great pics of our FL trip in March and my hubby was trying to blow up a floaty for her and she was walking up to him and pinching his nipples. I hope she outgrowns this soon..at least doing it to me. She can continue doing it to the hubby…lol
@Naomi – both my kids went thru the “sleeping on mommy’s chest” phase, and don’t worry, they DO grow out of it.
@Lauren – neither of my kids accepted a toy, stuffed animal, or blankie for comfort. Now that my daughter is 4 she voluntarily brings a different stuffed animal to bed with her, but there’s no anxiety if she doesn’t.
Reading this blog was crazy. Like reading my life story written by someone else. Ever since my son stopped nursing he seems to seek comfort by groping me or my husband (nipple tweaking, too) If he’s tired, cranky, or uncomfortable in anyway his hand is immediately down our shirts. The more tired or upset, the harder he squeezes. I laugh about it, but sometimes he has the worst timing. I assume it’s only a matter of time before he moves on.
My daughter will be three in September, she was weaned at 18 months. She still rubs my nipple through my shirt when I am holding her, usually when she’s upset about something. I give her a minute and then remove her hand. It’s a comfort thing. She doesn’t do it that often anymore.
If you are still nursing and your child plays with your nipples while nursing, I would suggest making him stop..my daughter did that and it got out of hand. I had to get her to stop bc it was annoying and sometimes painful! When she did it, I would stop nursing. Eventually she (mostly) stopped doing it.