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Who Actually Has the Attachment Disorder?

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Attachment DisorderMother’s Day is just around the corner. This year, I bought myself 2 kid-free days away at the Catalyst Dallas conference. Last week, I had one of those pull my hair out of my head weeks and when an email came in that the event was in town, I knew I needed to be there.

Everything fell into place. I registered. Found childcare (miraculously). It was meant to be. KID FREE 2 DAYS, holla!

Today was the first day of the event. The husband took them to the daycare this morning. I put on make-up, a cute outfit, did my hair and even picked Starbucks. You know, things that you don’t get to do with toddlers. (Well it is possible, but takes 3x as long!)

I went to the event and my soul found what it needed. I  have been in a constant search for inspiration the last month and minutes after finding a seat – I knew I was meant to be there. Friends. Inspiration. No dirty diapers. Bliss.

After today’s event was over, I had toddler pick-up duty. Note to self: make sure husband picks up the babies tomorrow. While I know the boys were in a new daycare and change can be a big deal, our littlest Zeke was not having this away from Mommy thing. Our older toddler wished I had just left him to play. 

Zeke is 20-months-old and I haven’t left him, but a handful of times. As I was strapping him in the carseat and he was screaming, I teared up.

HELLO attachement disorder.

Maybe I have a slight attachment disorder as well…. maybe. Was it him or me? ACK – it’s BOTH of us.

Tonight Zeke, who is the world’s best sleeper, woke up screaming. I went upstairs and he wouldn’t let go. He just smiled from the moment I cradled him. I know. Some parenting book out there would probably say, “this is part of growing up, let him be.” This mom is absorbing it. He is my baby. I spent the day filling my soul and he is helping me spend the night filling my heart.

Tomorrow we do this again and I’m hoping my husband can do pick-up so I don’t have to get sad and feel a wee-bit guilty for leaving him. Tomorrow night, if he needs him Mommy – I’ll be here ready to cuddle.

Did You Have a Hard Time Parting With Your Baby?

Molly blogs technology, parenting and geekery at Digital Mom Blog.

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