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Why I Won't Potty Train My Son

toddlers, potty training

No shame in that diaper-wearing game.

When my first daughter potty-trained in a matter of minutes (or so it seems), I took all credit for it. Though she had been showing some of the classic signs of being ready — hiding, waking up dry once in awhile — she wasn’t interested in actually sitting on a potty to do the deed.

So I busted out M&M’s and suddenly she was performing like a prize pony. I had to cut her off after a few days and many bags of M&M’s. Shortly thereafter, she was even out of nighttime pull-ups.

But my second child. Ahhhh, my second. I thought it would be so easy — I could work my potty-training magic on her, genius mom that I am, and we’d donating leftover Huggies to a family in need.

Not even close.

The M&M’s were a bust. We bought Huggies for months (and by months, I mean a year) longer. Of course, I took all credit for these failures, too. (Such is a mom’s life.)

So now we have Earl, who loves to sit on the potty but won’t go. He turns 3 in December, so he’s in that range where people start expecting a potty-training program to be implemented. But honestly? I think this time I’m not going to implement one.

In fact, I think I’m not going to potty-train him.

Yes, yes, I know taking advantage of the absorbancy of modern-day disposable diapers is the root of all bad things in society today. It’s the first phase in a series of goals where I won’t be holding Earl accountable, because it’s hard for him and inconvenient for me. He’ll wind up entitled and irresponsible and used to sitting around in his own filth just acting like nothing’s wrong.

And still. Eh. I’ll sit this one out.

His preschool/daycare doesn’t require any of the kids be potty-trained (which I love). I don’t actually mind changing his diapers. And I know, first hand, that potty-training has little to do with me and mostly to do with my kid. I can get nasty or manipulative. But he’s not going to go until he’s ready. Just like I couldn’t make him walk before he was 1 or talk before he turned 2, I can’t make him stop peeing his pants by the time he’s 3. He can, but I can’t.

Earl has plenty of role-models for bathroom behavior. We live in a small house with one bathroom and among people with no shame. His preschool has open bathrooms, which some kids his age use. He knows what I mean when I ask him if he wants to go on the potty.

Until he answers yes, I’m not getting involved.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Think I’ll regret it? Anyone out there not potty-train their toddler?

Related to Potty Training:

She’s Not Looking Forward to Potty Training

She’s Expecting a Struggle

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