Someone Please Tell Me...WTF is a Deferdees?Selena Mills
Toddler speak. It’s funny and cute, sure.
Not so much. Sometimes it’s full of sauce and you have to hunker down and systematically, patiently; talk it out with them. Help them develop how they communicate; to learn how their communication can be more effective, kind and respectful.
Tricky stuff, because while you may not want them saucing and screaming at you (or others), you definitely don’t to squash them. To disuade them from learning how to express their feelings.
I truly believe it’s even harder for them. I’m totally with you mamas. It’s hella hard, the tantrums and the feist these little ones throw at us more than occasionally.
No matter how much we may err on the dark-side of humour in saying that they are vampire or zombie babies, terrorist toddlers, etc. – they really aren’t. We know this. It’s hard-ass work being a toddler wherein all of their decisions are made for them, constantly; (necessary of course, but still – annoying). It’s emotional stuff, having a heavy myriad of feelings twirling about their innards without the vocabulary to express it.
We’d probably be melting down left and right too. If that were us. But, after all; it IS happening to us. However.
I’m going on the fact that most of us parents are better equipped than a toddler, both emotionally and mentally; to better deal with having objects thrown at us (like my friend Casey). That we can handle being called names. I’ve been called worse and it usually amuses me.
Because my friends? As of late my toddler boy has occasionally taken to calling me a ‘Deferdees!!!’ Distinctly said with distaste, in and around the same time he has been disciplined. His big darling eyes, turn squinty and fiery instantaneously. His voice takes on a growl. I can’t for the life of me figure out what he’s calling me, but I know it’s not good.
I feel weird talking to him about not calling me that, when I don’t even know what it means. My partner and I have scoured our brains and have asked Wyndham what it means, every which way we can think of. To no avail.
Bad Mom Confession
During one particular round of Derferdees name calling, (at 5:30 am), whilst screaming and stomping and throwing a book at the wall, (in my direction), I called him a Derferdees right back. That was when I had it 100% confirmed that whatever this word is; it ain’t good. Because he ran off wailing to his room. And my heart immediately crumbled into a trillion little jagged pieces. I was the the worst mother ever. I KNEW better than that. Even if I didn’t know what in the bloody heck it meant. I usually keep my cool. I work really hard out of love and respect for my child to lead by example. We had a very long talk and cuddle after that, still – no dice.
I’m not too optimistic that any of y’all will be able to tell me what this Deferdess word means, but who knows. This is the internets after all.
Speaking of which, how do you deal with your toddler calling you names and lashing out when you lay down the law? Aside from the obvious; nipping it in the bud, right away. But, ehm…how does one go about doing that successfully?
More Babbles From Selena…
- On Montessori As Daycare
- Upcyle THIS!
- Everyone Poos. It’s true. Plus 5 others.
- The Things These Toddlers Say! 1st Edition
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