The 33 Most Ridiculous Toys Ever
The what-were-they-thinking hall of fame.
by Cole Gamble
December 16, 2008
30. Airport X-ray Security Machine
Coming soon, The Kiddy FAA Cavity Search Kit, and My First Guantanamo Bay Playset with Habeas Corpus Removal Wand.
29. Barbie
Does Barbie represent bad gender role modeling? I don't know, but I do know this: that girl likes to get naked. No sooner than minutes after your daughter receives the gift of Barbie does this amoral little doll have her clothes off. And it is in this sinful state of nature that Barbie will stay, most likely writhing in a pile of similarly clothing-shy Barbies. It's not the '70s anymore, Barbie. Time to get some underwear.
28. Pet Rock
How about a Pet-I'll-Chuck-This-Back-At-Your-Head-You-Cheapo-Dad?
27. The Vibrating Harry Potter Broom
This might have been a nice toy, but a lot of mommies never got around to giving it to their kids.
26. Sit and Spin
If you think about it, by giving a kid a toy, you the parent are saying, "Here, now go busy yourself with this and stay outta my hair for a while." And what better way to keep your child busy than with non-stop vomiting? This little wonder comes from the "nausea = entertainment" class of toys. It's like a mini version of the Gravitron ride at the fair, but without that familiar carny smell. Operation of this toy is simple: the child sits, they spin, they get up and stagger away like a drunken sailor on fleet week, and then they walk directly into a wall. That ought to keep them busy while mommy and daddy enjoy cocktail hour.
©2008 Babble
About the Author
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Cole Gamble is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. He's working on an evil self-help guide titled Improve Your Life or Die.
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