Homework is the bane of my existence. I hate it. I hate homework like I hate wedgies, bunched socks, and finding out someone left my pint of Hagen Daz in the fridge instead of the freezer.
I’m sure that there are plenty of people who will disagree with me, and I welcome your criticism. I also welcome you to come sit with my four children, making flashcards and doing side by side math problems.
If you’re lucky, your kids don’t get homework like mine do. But perhaps some of this looks familiar to you, too? Click through the slideshow to see exactly what I mean…
I HATE Homework 1 of 10
Just a few of the reasons why I hate homework!
Computer Log Jam 2 of 10
Most of my kids' teachers think they are doing us a favor by assigning homework online. Because my kids could use a little more screen time? Because what we need in our lives are an additional 6-8 logins and passwords to remember for each of our four children? Most nights, there is a computer log jam, with at least three kids needing to work online at the same time at any given moment. Helping them with passwords, making sure the printer has fresh ink, and scheduling tech help for each has us considering advertising for a full-time family IT expert. Plus a cleaning lady to wipe the jammy fingerprints off every screen and keyboard in the house.
No Time for Creativity 3 of 10
This is a drawing my son did. When he was supposed to be doing his homework. Oops. Worksheets come with an opportunity cost. If you spend your time doing boring busywork, you don't get to draw cool pictures.
I Am the Homework Police! 4 of 10
This is my weeknight cap. Did I see you trying to sneak in an episode of The Voice? Busted! Did you just text a friend? Busted! I never signed up to be chief officer of the homework division...
No Time for Dinner, or Chores 5 of 10
Although I am having a hard time bringing back my high school math and keeping up with my older kids (homework makes ME stupid!), I can still do simple arithmetic. There are often not enough hours in our crammed evenings for both homework and meals. This means my older daughters frequently eat dinner at their desks in their room. No time for chores either. I know they are not weeping and begging to do their own laundry, but some day they are going to need these vital life skills, like knowing how to load a dishwasher and wash clothes. They may need these skills even more than they need to know how to quickly calculate the circumference of a sphere.
No Time for Family 6 of 10
See this lovely dinner out where we celebrated my mom's 83rd birthday? My 13-year-old old daughter was stressed out and twitching the whole time. She couldn't enjoy the celebration. She had homework due. My 9-year-old got in trouble for not completing his assignments the next day as well. Message being: completing 4 hours of nightly homework matters more than milestone family occasions.
I beg to differ.
The Death of Play 7 of 10
My kids typically gain weight during the school year. Or if we sign them up for sports, they stay fit and don't finish their homework. Choices. And forget about a nice, old fashioned veg-out in front of the TV or a board game with a sibling. Hours of nightly busywork make playtime scarce.
I happen to believe that playtime is learning time and a vital part of childhood. Worksheets? Not so much.
WTH!? Whose Homework is This Anyways? 8 of 10
Laminated posters, elaborately constructed scale models, scrapbooked presentations, tailored costumes, and Powerpoint presentations. Welcome to the new world of kid's homework assignments. When I show this to my parents, they need a forklift to get their chins off the floor. Did they ever laminate my book reports for me? Spend $100 at the craft store for my presentation materials? Hire a tailor to sew me a costume for my speech? Nope. They handed me a paper bag, some dull scissors, and a few crayons and encouraged me to have at it. But the playing field is not level. So many of my kids' assignments are really parent assignments. We must drive to far flung locations, assemble exotic goods, and consult with a decorator in order to get our kids' homework done.
No Time for Friends 9 of 10
Playdates and relationships tend to fall by the wayside when all your afternoon and evening hours are occupied by homework.
The Homework-o-crat 10 of 10
As much as I hate being the homework cop, I hate being the homework bureaucrat even more. Signing on the dotted line for each class, each and every day for multiple classes, for multiple kids. It's enough to make me mad! I'm either going to buy a rubber stamp or run around the neighborhood shouting "Off with their heads!" the next time someone asks me to sign their daily homework.