Random Things Found in My Purse (and Yours)Mira Jacob
You know that thing where you reach into your purse for lip-gloss and pull out a pair of little boy’s underwear? Okay, fine, maybe you don’t, but this is a thing that happens to the rest of us. Or some of the rest of us. Or like, me. And then I spend an afternoon at the crossroads of pervy and well-prepared, and then I tell my husband I might need to go back to therapy, and then I write a bunch of other parents to see if this kind of things happens to them. And then I make that information public. Today, for your viewing pleasure: Random Sh*t Parents Found in Their Purses/ Man Bags/ Pockets. Because sometimes, therapy is best done in a group.
Sunny “Pharmergency” Chanel 1 of 15"Rocks my daughter collected and Ativan which I haven't taken but lug around, just in case."
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Laura “Who Doesn’t Label Their Cracker Bags?” Mayes 2 of 15"A marker-decorated ziplock bag full of crackers addressed to: 'homelets people.'"
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Jamie “And The Other 1% is TOTALLY Freaked Out” Morrison Curtis 3 of 15"This lovely nasty hair clip with bonus hair actually attached to it. I'm 99% sure it's from a Rapunzel doll."
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Doug “KidGyver” French 4 of 15"I don't carry a man bag; my depository is the pockets of my fleece. Reached in and found dice, a Spider-man band-aid, and a five-pointed crayon thing that my 6yo takes everywhere."
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Meredith “Dexter” Carroll 5 of 15"Mr. Potato Head Tongue. As long as we don't stick it to a freezing pole we should be OK."
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Karen “Ignore The Martini Under It” Walrond 6 of 15"A cocktail napkin. What?"
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Eden “Hold Me Closer, Tiny Fascist” Kennedy 7 of 15"I found a little Lego Stormtrooper in my purse! Apparently he's been ushering me toward the Dark Side without me even knowing it."
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Sarah “Less Aint More” Braesch 8 of 15"3 dice. 3."
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Thomas “Do Not Try This At Home” Beller 9 of 15"Teaching my class at Tulane, I reached into my jacket pocket and found a pen. Except it wasn't pen, it was a small twig. My daughter likes to collect sticks. I explained to the class what it was, how it got there, and put again in front of me like some sort of totem of ridiculousness, which I thought might be helpful at the start of a semester of creative writing."
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Lori “Deathwish” Garcia 10 of 15"Why yes, that is Kraft Fat Free salad dressing in my purse. I'm on a diet and I finally found a fat free dressing I like so I like to have with me at restaurants. You're supposed to refrigerate after opening — oh well. If I die, I'll die a skinny bitch."
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Ellen “Youre Not What Im Smiling At” Seidman: 11 of 15"I have a little inspiration book I carry in my work bag; I scribble down ideas at meetings in it. As everyone's talking, I'll secretly flip to this page; my seven-year-old wanted to pretend she was Mommy, doing work. I get such a kick out of it every time."
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Amy “Welcome to My Tiny Museum of Weird” Corbett Storch 12 of 15"Clockwise from top: Snappi cloth diaper fastener, a voodoo mummy doll attached to a Lady Gaga unicorn keychain, Captain Jack Sparrow Lego minifigure, something I got at Blogher '11 when I really just wanted some free Twizzlers."
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Casey “Also Good in Baking Emergencies” Mullins 13 of 15"Measuring spoon. What? The baby likes to nom on them."
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Mr. Lady a.k.a. “Three Days of Awesome'” 14 of 15"I found a skateboard and a Jane's Addiction bootleg from 1987. I was wondering where I'd put that!"
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This Freaking Lady 15 of 15I mean honestly, what has she got in there? The whole kid? But more importantly, what have YOU got in there? C'mon people, join the session. Find the most random thing in your bag and tell me about it. I promise it will make me feel better about myself.