Teenagers do all sorts of crazy things; things that make you shake your head and think to yourself, “What on earth were they thinking?!” They’re happy half the time, and then at the drop of a hat, they become moody. One minute, they’re giving you a hug, and the next, they only want to hang out with you in public in really obscure places that it’s almost guaranteed that anyone they know won’t be hanging out in. Whilst people are common to give out advice for newborn babies, and everyone thinks they know the perfect way to raise a baby, no one really has much advice on raising teenagers — so here’s eight things you should know about teenagers, that pretty much no one prepares you for:
1. They’ll say some sort of variation on this phrase at least once:
“Oh my God, just chill!” This is normally followed by an eye roll just to further express just how much you’re overreacting.
2. They do (and say) dumb things. All. Of. The. Time.
Like, for instance, putting wet white clothes on (black) carpet to dry in their bedroom. (Not that I’ve ever done this and thought I was so clever for using the natural heat of my bedroom to dry my clothes … twice …)
3. They expect to be treated like adults …
Except when it comes to paying for things, chores, and basically everything they don’t want to do. They also try and use the excuse that they’re “too young” and “still a child” in order to get out of doing it.
4. They’ll push you away one day and not want to hang out with you …
… and the very next day they’ll want you to hold their hand as they get their braces tightened.
5. They’ll forget everything you tell them, five seconds later.
This isn’t because we don’t care what you say. This isn’t because we’re ignoring you or don’t do what you ask on purpose. It’s legitimately because unless we write it down, we forget about it.
6. You get to “relearn” all the things you conveniently forgot after leaving high school.
That algebra that you so gleefully thought you could forget about? Comes back to revisit you in the form of your teenager’s high school assignment that they desperately need your help with.
7. They love you, but they won’t display it — especially in public.
You want to hug your teenager in public? Better scope out the place to make sure no one they know is in a 2 mile radius, first.
8. They’ll make you concerned, stressed, and worried.
But ultimately? They’ll turn out fine, because that hot mess of hormones that slammed their bedroom door, lied, skipped school and whatever else? They’ll grow up, and the irrational being that couldn’t understand why you’d be so unfair to not let him/ her stay up all night on a school night to see the midnight premiere of Catching Fire, will eventually become rational, mature and quite possibly apologetic of all they put you through during their teens. (Or not).
At the very least, they’ll offer to buy you coffee, rather than expecting you to pick up the bill all the time.