A Very Not-Mustard ChristmasKatherine Stone
I am not in the Christmas spirit.
Our usual tradition is to spend Thanksgiving in the mountains at my mom’s place, and then get a tree on the way back home. We would have put it up and decorated this weekend. No tree this time, though. Not yet, anyway.
I enjoy decorating early for Christmas because it’s a ton of work putting up all those lights and ornaments and trinkets and things, and I don’t want to put forth all that effort only to gaze upon my handiwork for two stinking weeks. I want an entire month of full-on twinkling lights and peppermint bark and Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas.
That’s not going to happen this time, though, because we’re moving to a new house next week. My birthday is December 10 and Christmas is just around the corner and all I can think of is cardboard boxes and packing tape.
The new house is wonderful.We’re going to a home that we’ve built, where we were lucky enough to have choices. We got to pick the paint colors, and the appliances and the light fixtures. It’s a place that has been imprinted with our own style and it’s awesome. And my kitchen? My new kitchen is glorious, with all the letters capitalized and italicized and underlined.
Plus, it’s a major bonus to be moving away from this rental house with the mustard-colored walls. Don’t get me wrong. I like mustard. On my hot dog. On my walls, not so much. It reminds me of baby diarrhea. Sorry I said that, but it does. You know what I’m talking about, parents, so stop acting all shocked. We’re so happy to leave the mustard behind that my kids and I have made up a song called “El Mostaza” that we’ve been singing every morning this week.
Moving should feel more joyous, especially when it’s a place you’re excited about, but it’s always a monumental task. It takes so much energy to pack up every single thing you own and then unpack it a day later. Where will this go, where will I store that. It’s all I can think about now. That, and how much f*&cking money curtains cost. Cheese and crackers, people! We should all get into the curtains business. I’m trying to figure out how to get Restoration Hardware to give me their linen drapes for free, but I haven’t been able to crack that code just yet.
Or probably ever.
I’m waiting until I get everyone settled and comfortable, and then I’ll rush to throw up the decorations and put the lights out front. Christmas must come, moving or not. I’ll find the spirit and we’ll have a blast and we’ll be gathered around the tree sharing gifts and laughing. Best of all, we’ll be mustard-free.