And These are the Things I Could Live Without

Yesterday, I shared my favorite things about Florida. We’ve been here about two weeks now and we’re settling in. Boxes are almost all unpacked, rooms are set up, we’re finding positive things about living here. But with all the good things, there are some that aren’t so wonderful. There are some that are just strange and foreign to us. And then there are some that make us want to move back home (cough cough Palmetto bugs)!

The good definitely outweighs the bad, but in the interest of fairness, here’s a list of the notsogood things about living in Florida.

  • The Weird Stores! 1 of 10
    The Weird Stores!
    When we left Chicago, we had no idea that we'd be moving to a land of milk and honey; a land overflowing with bountiful goodness; a land that had stores which sell everything you could ever need in one stop. We passed a store advertising hog traps, gator meat, and ammunition ALL AT THE SAME PLACE! Whoda thunk it? And let's not forget the pickled eggs at the gas station.
  • The Rednecks! 2 of 10
    The Rednecks!
    I never knew Florida was such a redneck state. I had no clue. But you know that People of Walmart website? Yeah, well those pictures are taken here! The 400 pound woman in the tube top, the guy with the overalls, no shirt, and a ZZ Top beard, the kid with the mullet, yep, they all live here. I have more teeth than anyone else in my town.
  • The Palmetto Bugs! 3 of 10
    The Palmetto Bugs!
    Yep, that's the fancy name Floridians give their cockroaches to take your mind off the fact that they're as big as a cat. They're indestructible too. Hit them with bug spray, a shoe, or napalm. It doesn't matter. They'll live. Forever.
  • The Heat! 4 of 10
    The Heat!
    It gets just as hot and humid in Chicago as it does in Florida, but it doesn't last 24 hours a day, every day, for days, weeks, months, forever. I'm convinced that Florida is the devil's vacation destination when hell gets a little too chilly for him. People here hibernate during the summer just like we hibernate in the winter.
  • The Crazy Drivers 5 of 10
    The Crazy Drivers
    I'm learning that Florida has different rules of the road than we have in Chicago. In Florida, you can make a left turn from the right lane, in front of cars going straight. You can also slam on your brakes in the middle of the street for no apparent reason, and when the speed limit says 70, it actually means 105.
  • The Rain! 6 of 10
    The Rain!
    Now, I love a good thunderstorm as much as the next person, but I don't really need one EVERY SINGLE DAY! And it doesn't so much rain here as the sky opens and a bucketful of water just dumps on you. And chances are, while it's dumping on you, your neighbor across the street won't get a drop.
  • The Neighbors! 7 of 10
    The Neighbors!
    And by neighbors, I mean the ALLIGATORS that I've seen mere blocks from my house. And every time I tell a native that I saw an alligator, their reaction is, "Yeah?" as if I'd just announced that I'd seen something as innocuous as a squirrel, and not something that is going to eat me in one bite.
  • The Tolls! 8 of 10
    The Tolls!
    Tolls are bad in Chicagoland. When you drive into any bordering state, the tolls disappear and the roads are far better. But here in Florida, it costs $293 to drive from my home in Orlando to the airport, also in Orlando.
  • The Fire Ants! 9 of 10
    The Fire Ants!
    Remember that scene in the Indy Jones Crystal Skull movie where the ants carried people off? I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at the cheesiness of it. But now I've seen fire ants. I've felt their bite. I think it could happen. If you don't hear from me for awhile, check the ant hill in my backyard.
  • The Fried Chicken! 10 of 10
    The Fried Chicken!
    What is it with southerners and fried chicken? There are places that sell fried chicken and waffles. Together. And just the other night, I went to fill my car with gas at a store called Dodge's Fried Chicken. I'm not sure if it was a chicken restaurant that happened to have a gas pump, or if it was a gas station that sold chicken. But my point is do these things really go together? I could probably write an entire post about all the weird chicken stores down here.

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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