10 Things You Need to Get Your Bacon Out Of (Including My Bedroom)

Continued from here

I *get* it that we are a generation who are raising a generation for whom the word “moderation” only applies to blog conference panels, but I think we all have a collective problem with taking things a little too far.

I mean, look at Pinterest. One day it’s a fun place to tag that handmade Christmas card you don’t want to forget about, and then next day, it is the Single! Greatest! Things! to Ever! Happen! to the Internet! and then one more day later, Momma say Pinterest is Da Debil.

We take good things and we make them clip art crap. We did this with religion, politics, the ozone layer, the letter Z, zombies, reality tv, ninjas, meals that come with toys, A&E, Christmas, and we are now doing it with breakfast meats.

My guess is that we are an undefined generation raising an undefined generation and so we are grasping at something to define ourselves by, and that we put more credence in the phrase “you are what you eat” than we do “everything in moderation.” But you know what? I don’t want to tell my kids I’m part of Generation Bacon.

Bacon lubricant is too far, people. It’s TOO FAR. So are each and every one of these things.

  • Bacon Lube 1 of 10
    *They* say everything should taste like bacon. *I* say there are some things that taste bad enough. {Bacon Lube Website}
  • Bacon Vodka 2 of 10
    Bacon Vodka. And yet I get judged for loving me some chocolate martinis. Hypocrisy, thy name is bacon.
  • Bacon Air Fresheners 3 of 10
    So your car can always smell like your lunch. Next up, dirty diaper air fresheners!
    {Bacon Air Freshener on Think Geek}
  • Bacon Soda 4 of 10
    Bacon Soda, for the low, low price of $24.95! Throw some ice cream in that bad boy and you've got a Bacon Float!
  • Bacon Soap 5 of 10
    Bacon Soap: Because nothing smells like clean more than fried animal fat.
  • image 6 of 10
    No, they are not kidding.
    {Bacon Tuxedo on}
  • Bacon Tattoos 7 of 10
    I couldn't commit to my nieces and nephews enough to add them to my family tree tattoo. So many more tattoos here.
  • Bacon Jewelry 8 of 10
    With this ring, I do dip you in egg yolk. Wait, that's what the bacon lube is for. Nevermind.
    {Bacon Rings on Etsy}
  • Bacon Lipbalm 9 of 10
    Or maybe this is Diet Bacon. Not sure.
    {Bacon balm on Etsy}
  • Bacon Home Decor 10 of 10
    This frightens me more than that scene in The Shining when he pulls back the shower curtain and finds the living rotten person in the tub.
    {Bacon Shower Curtain on Etsy}

Article Posted 6 years Ago

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