Dear Celebrities, Please Adopt Me!

Some people read celebrity news and fantasize about being the celebrities. I, on the other hand, fantasize about being their kids. They get to enjoy all the perks of their famous parents with none of the effort. No effort is my favorite amount of effort!

If I stumbled upon a magic wand today, here are the eight celebrity couples I’d like as parents.

  • The Duke & Duchess of Cambride 1 of 8
    The Duke & Duchess of Cambride
    Yeah, I know they don't have kids...YET. Can you imagine being their kid though? I can. I'd require a personal candy unwrapper, and all my subjects would refer to me as "Her Skinny Highness." As it stands now, I can only make my husband call me that.
  • Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner 2 of 8
    Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner
    Ben and Jen seem to be totally normal parents. I *have* totally normal parents, but I don't have an Uncle Matt (Damon) or Uncle George (Clooney). Their pool parties must be awesome.
  • Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie 3 of 8
    Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
    Ugh, this is a mistake, I would never want to be one of their kids. Angelina is so weird. But wait. It would mean spending lots of time with Brad Pitt. Score.
  • Paul McCartney 4 of 8
    Paul McCartney
    Beatrice's dad is a Beatle. And if that isn't enough, her sister is Stella McCartney. She'll probably grow up to hate fashion and music. Such a waste. I would make Dad sing me "Hey Jude" each night before bed while I wore custom made pajamas designed by my sister.
  • President & Michelle Obama 5 of 8
    President & Michelle Obama
    Malia and Sasha's dad is the leader of the free world. Sure, their mom is all about working out and eating healthy so they probably NEVER get to eat ice cream out of the carton. But again - their dad is the leader of the free world. I bet they are ALWAYS picked first for kickball games.
  • Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith 6 of 8
    Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith
    Jaden and Willow can clearly do no wrong in their parents' eyes. If I sang that "Whip My Hair" nonsense for MY mom, she'd laugh in my face, not get me a record deal.
  • Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale 7 of 8
    Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale
    Gwen and Gavin's sons Kingston and Zuma are ADORABLE, but Gwen NEEDS a daughter, and it should be me. I would let her dye my hair, paint my toenails, and dress me like a Harajuku girl - and I would LIKE IT.
  • Ryan Phillippe & Reese Witherspoon 8 of 8
    Ryan Phillippe & Reese Witherspoon
    Ava and Deacon are clones of their gorgeous parents. But I'm most envious of Ava - she has access to her mom's closet. Could you imagine playing dress-up with the clothes from Legally Blonde?

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Article Posted 5 years Ago

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