Dear Ed,

We have to break up. And you know what? It’s not me. It’s you.

We’ve known each other for a long time and our relationship truly started when I was a little girl. What we had was special and we grew up together and went in a new direction. First, it was friendship and then I was in awe of you and that grew into a crush and then? Well, we were linked in a grown up relationship that was modern and suited me better. Isn’t that always the way? At first, you’re friends and then you fall in love and want to be together forever.

Here’s the thing, Ed: once upon a time we had something real and authentic. I was madly in love with you to the point of not getting enough of you. Some would call it an obsession. Do you remember those passionate moments in the library? Or when we sat in chem lab holding hands? There was a time we used to travel and take trips to explore the world and now we don’t even do that anymore. Not even a simple field trip because “funds are tight” or “it has no added value“.

Remember the passion in the library?

Look, I expect both sides to change and grow for the relationship to sustain. Changes are supposed to be for the better, but I’m not sure that the way you’ve changed values our relationship. The things that are really important are so far down on your priority list that you’re not even paying attention. What happened to you, Ed?

There was a time when your part of the relationship hinged on caring for me and trusting me enough to go out by myself and learn. You’re just like a jealous boyfriend now. I tell you what I’m doing and you look over my shoulder. I work on stuff and you tell me it’s not allowed. You never believe what I say! The things that guide you are grounded in the fact that you always think I’m lying and cheating. You own the narrative and have the country convinced that I’m failing.

This relationship was supposed to be about us, Ed. Yet, now outside influences are factored into our relationship. In the beginning, it was about us and then kids came along and we loved them passionately, but lately I wonder why you aren’t as focused on the kids as I am. Whatever it is that’s happened to you has forced both me and the kids low on your concerns and now it’s all about testing. SO. MUCH. TESTING.

I get it. Relationships crumble and fall apart, but I’m working harder than I ever have before. For you! For us! You’ve changed, Ed. You’ve turned into this beast who simply tests me all the time just to see if I fail but not if I love you. Not if I’m passionate about learning. Not if I actually find something that interests me and challenges me.

Ed, you used to tell me to ask questions and to question everything. But now our life revolves around whatever the best answer might be.

Simply put, Ed, you bore me. Nothing about us fascinates me anymore. When I want to spend time with you, you just ask me to sit still for hours. You know they call that torture, don’t you? Then, when you want to show me off, you make me get gussied up and tell everyone all manner of intimate details. You tell everyone all about me. The intimate parts of things. Lessons I’ve not yet learned. But now? Ed, you use scare tactics against me when you don’t get what you want. When I don’t perform well, you shame me and embarrass me in public. What kind of relationship is that?

You don’t let me do anything anymore unless there’s some proven results or effectiveness tied to it. Why can’t I just learn about what interests me? Why are you cutting out so much of my natural curiosity?

Is it the money, Ed? I know that one of the biggest reasons that couples fight is because of the money. Is that all there is to this relationship?

You’re killing me, Ed. You’re not who I thought you were.


Every Teacher in America

Photo credit to woodleywonderworks and enokson


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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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