Recently I wrote down every single thing I ate, for precisely one week. It wasn’t for myself in the beginning, it was for a press thing that I was doing — but I very quickly found myself really getting into it. I carried a little book with me in my purse, and every time one of my hands delivered anything to my mouth, I wrote it down. By the end of a week, I basically had carpal tunnel syndrome from all the extra writing, plus — I got fudge all over my book.
It was a very interesting exercise, all in all. I mean, I knew that I loved butter, I just didn’t realize exactly how much of it I consume in a single day. By all accounts, my skin should be positively slippery with butterfat. I literally thought that I ate with a sensible balance of austerity, and attention to flavor, hahaha forever. I think I know who I am now, and who I am is a person who constantly eats.
Listen, everyone assumes on some level that parents of children spend up to 50 percent of their day filter feeding the uneaten remains of their children’s meals. Why just today I have eaten 3 bites of a buckwheat waffle drenched in maple syrup, and three mouthfuls of scrambled egg, in addition to my already full breakfast, and it’s not even nine o’clock. Also, for the record it was more like, the entire buckwheat waffle. I just didn’t remember it until I was forced to write it down. If you had asked me what I ate for breakfast, it would never have even occurred to me. I just gave this a name, that name is second breakfast amnesia, and the onset is immediate.
I really and truly didn’t realize how much of my kids’ food I eat, in an effort to clean up after them and not be wasteful. I mean I knew, but I didn’t know know. And everyone tells you not to do this. But HOW NOT TO?! What a waste to see all that egg plopping in the trash when it could be plopping down my mouth hole instead! It’s hard to look at my food journal and see things like “chicken finger that dropped on the floor” and “half eaten muffin” and still wonder why my cords feel more like taut sausage casings right now than they probably should.
So I give you the highest possible recommendation to try this exercise for one week and see what happens. I, for one, will be trying out a new mantra for the rest of the spring, and it is this: “I am NOT a seagull.”
Image courtesy of Flickr.
And on Facebook because that’s where we sometimes hang with the cool chicks (and 6 dudes).