How to Traumatize Your Kids This Halloween

This week I saw a Halloween costume that stopped me in my tracks. How could such a disturbing costume be real?

Who looks at these costumes and says, “Yes, People will love to buy this!”

Was I just a dark twisted soul to see such disturbing ick in an innocent costume? I did what any reasonable person would do, I snapped a picture and asked the Internet.

The Internet agreed.

I couldn’t stop thinking about that darn costume. A full grown man in a Elmo costume?

What kind of messed up, freaky experience would that be for the kids?

Come to think of it, most Halloween costumes for middle aged adults are either whorish, weird, creepy or sad.

"Creepy adult halloween costumes"

Imagine the years of therapy kids will need to recover from seeing parents like this?

"Creepy Halloween Costumes for Couples"



Just imagine the scene-

“Good news, Timmy! Your Momma and I are hosting the Halloween party for your 6th grade class at out house.  I’m gonna be the key and your Momma is gonna be the lock. It’s gonna be so fun!”

Good luck living that one down, Timmy.



What if  Mom and Dad are zombie fanatics and want to incorporate their love of all things undead with their small child’s love of her beloved sock monkey for Halloween.

Dad can be a Zombie Sock Monkey!

Fun, right?


"Funny Halloween costumes for adults"
















It would take a special kind of Daddy to think this costume would be OK.

"Crazy Halloween Costumes"

There is just so much wrong with this monkey costume from Japan. I doubt the costume is anatomically correct.

"creepy Japanese halloween costumes"
And, now, a fresh new kind of nightmare…

"Beetlejuice halloween costume"
























“Now, remember, Little Jenny, Just close your eyes tight and say Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice. Then the nightmares of Mommy and Daddy at Halloween will go away.”


(Warning: The last image on the slideshow is not appropriate for anyone to see. OK, maybe you can see it, but not the kids or faint of heart, OK? Promise?)

Proceed with caution-

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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