I am NOT Dreaming of a White Christmas!

Although I’ve been a little lot homesick recently, I’m really not dreaming of a white Christmas. I’ve never been a fan of cold and snow. I think it’s awesome being able to go outside in shorts. I love being able to jump in my car without warming it up for 10 minutes first. I love not having to scrape a foot of snow and ice off my car every time I want to go somewhere. And you can’t beat eating dinner outside on the screened-in porch.

I live in modern-day Mayberry. It may be 80 degrees. There may be palm trees. It may not feel like Christmas, but this little town sure knows how to decorate. Really, I’ve never seen a town quite so lit up. And the other day, Santa drove down our street, throwing out peppermints to the kids. How cool is that?

The following pictures will show why I’m not dreaming of a white Christmas. I’m perfectly happy here in the domain of the Heat Miser. Which is why we really don’t need snow. Really. Not even fake snow. We don’t need it. Ever. Again.

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    The other night, Santa came to town on a firetruck. We stood outside in shorts, enjoying the warm evening with our neighbors while the kids grabbed the peppermints that Santa threw.
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    We walked into town to see all the lights. We've never seen a town so lit up!
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    This guy has been sitting in front of his house, waving to folks and handing out candy canes every night. We walked over and talked to him tonight. He's been doing this for five years.
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    Here's the bucket of "snow". And by "snow", I mean sticky gel goop.
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    Okay, it's all stirred up. Now what?
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    It was too gooey to build a snowman or pack it into a ball so the kids just started throwing handfuls of it around.
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    Yeah, it was fun for the first few minutes.
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    But within minutes everyone was covered in goop.
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    The three youngest ran off crying because they were covered in sticky gel and it was in their eyes.
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    The older kids (including a neighbor who'd never seen snow) continued to throw it around.
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    The driveway was covered.
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    I had to hose the little kids down outside because I was afraid the gel would clog the shower drain and the washing machine.
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    Jackson lay down and made a diaper gel angel. I had to burn their clothes after this little extravaganza.

I don’t always buy books, but when I do, I buy Because I Said So and You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and other lies about pregnancy and childbirth) by Dawn Meehan. Stay thirsty, my friends.

Connect with Dawn on Facebook where all the cool kids hang out!

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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